Did anyone catch the new Liam Neeson movie where he rescues the wrong girl?
I just finished a demo to investors of a drone that rescues people in a hole.
Did you hear about the dolphin at Sea World that is now used for underwater rescues?
So a mouse rescues another mouse from drowning, and finds him unconscious
What does he do to help him? Mouse to mouse resuscitation.
My dad hit me with this one during lunch. I couldn't even.
Why didn't the lifeguard rescue the hippie?
Because he was too far out man.
A guy got a rescue dog. It had no legs He named him cigarette
And everyday he bought him for a drag.
I built a shelter for a big cat rescue
It's not much, but at least I have my pride
Why didn't the lifeguard rescue the hippy?
He was too far out man.
"Stolen from FB
What do you call someone who sees an Apple store being robbed?
I got fired from my search and rescue job...
I guess I just wasn't what they were looking for.
A policeman was feeling dizzy in the street, people started to come to his rescue…
They needed to lay down the law…
5 years ago I rescued a couple cute bunnies from three pumas. I brought them home, nurtured them to health, and kept them as pets. I wrote a story about it, but am too scared to publish it.
It's two hare-raising in my book. No even lion, odd right?
I was playing a firefighter game, and on this one level I had to rescue someone who got his arm stuck in a printing press
When I got him out, the game said "Achievement unlocked: Freedom of the press"
I bought a dog from a blacksmith.
I only had him for ten minutes when he made a bolt for the door!
Survival tip!
When ever my son goes snowboarding, I make him stuff hotbdogs in his pockets...So the rescue dogs will find him first!
Why did Westley open a French bakery after rescuing Princess Buttercup?
Imagine being held at gunpoint (bear with me) by a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on Reddit.
Two rival Egyptologists got trapped in a tomb with only a knife, a spoon, and one can of beans
By the time they were rescued, they had found a toot-in-common.
What is the title of the story of a gazelle being rescued?
I rescued a dog with no legs from a pile of leaves...
I think I’ll name him Rustle
I rescued a cow from a slaughterhouse
Now I realize it is a miss steak
I quit my job so I could single-handedly rescue every last missing lawn gnome.
It's going to be a great voyage of elf-discovery.
We got a new dog yesterday. He was a rescue and we're so glad to make him a part of our family. 'I think the transition is going well.'
'But your mother thinks it's been ruff.'
My friend started a bird rescue center...
Its nothing to crow about
My friend found a deer stuck in a fence. It took him 3 hours, but he was able to rescue it.
He’ll do anything for a buck.
What do you call an ocean rescued by PETA?
Workers rescued after a cave in, were reported saying
That it was a miner inconvenience
My husband says I like to rescue stray puppies.
You could call it my pet project.
Why was the farmer afraid to rescue the cow from on top of the barn?
The steaks were too high.
Batman gets word that somebody is in trouble and needs to be rescued quick...
Batman: Robin! Quick! Go get the Batmobile!
Robin: Sure thing, Batman!
A few minutes later...
Robin: The Batmobile won't start. In fact, it won't even turn over!
Batman: Check the battery.
Robin: What's a tery?
"I've come here to hand over this abandoned cygnet that I rescued and raised"
Animal shelter: "Nice swan".
I work with a small town search and rescue. We recently had a guy visiting from the big city to do some kayaking on the river.
He doesn't know the area and gets himself lost. All he does know is that there are a lot of grizzly bears roaming around during the salmon spawn this time of year, so he's quite afraid to get out of his kayak.
The temperature starts to drop. He needs to stay warm, and decides to build a fire inside his little boat on the river.
He learnt a valuable lesson that night: you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Why couldn't the coast guard rescue the hippie?
Because he was too far out
Tragic news, a cargo ship carrying shoes from overseas ran into heavy weather and sank, only one man was rescued, he was found using shoes as a makeshift flotation device.
He was the sole survivor.
The head of Big Cat Rescue and the female antagonist in the hit Netflix documentary has been arrested after holding up an ice cream shop.
Police are reporting that it was Baskin-Robbins.
Earlier today a man was rescued while at the local barbershop
He told reporters that it was a ‘close shave’
This morning a criminal broke into the dog rescue center and released all the dogs!
The police are still desperately looking for any leads..
My step-father just became an underwater search and rescue officer, posted this on Facebook:
Why didn’t the lifeguard rescue the hippie?
Because he was faaaar out maaaaaan....
I named my new rescue dog five miles...
So when someone asks I can say, "I walk 5 miles every day"
This lifeguard tried his best to rescue a hippie
But he was just too far out, man.
Why didn't the lifeguard rescue the hippie?
Because he was too far out man.
Imagine being held at gunpoint …
Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literal animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen?
Why did the lifeguard not rescue the hippy?
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