I have a mental illness where I believe I am the human reincarnation of a haddock fish
Itβs a cod complex
Sometimes I believe I am a superhero haddock in a popular New England tourist destination
Itβs a cape cod complex
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︎ Dec 02 2022
What did the math teacher say when he died and reincarnated into an Oak tree
Geometry!
Edit: Thank you so much for the silver!!! Never thought i would get one!!
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︎ Aug 25 2022
When I got reincarnated as a wind turbine, I wasn't sure what to think
...but now I'm a big fan.
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︎ Aug 18 2022
A tire left itβs job, died, and was reincarnated as a new tire.
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︎ Jul 14 2022
If Jesus was reincarnated as an ant..
He would be a Carpenter ant.
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︎ Apr 30 2022
I had a really scary dream last night that I died and was reincarnated as a car muffler
I woke up completely exhausted
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︎ May 20 2022
Reincarnation
Did you hear about reincarnation? I heard itβs making a comeback.
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︎ Mar 18 2022
Met a lady the other day who believed in reincarnation...
She kept saying the same thing over and over.
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︎ Jun 04 2022
If a Viking is reincarnated,
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︎ Aug 06 2021
Have you heard about the religious sect called the Frisbeetarians?
They believe that when you die, your soul gets stuck up on a roof, and nobody can get it down.
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︎ Feb 15 2023
Dad joke from my 2 year old.
She's eating some edamame and then she stops, won't even touch them. She says, I want to eat some edadade, not edamame...so now she eats them as long as there's a pair, she needs a edamame and a edadade to go with it.
If anyone needs help with pronouncing it to get the joke edamame (eda-mommy) and edadade (eda-daddy).
Kid is a reincarnated dad.
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︎ Feb 21 2023
Someone just told me this terrible joke about reincarnation.
There's ten seconds of my life I'll probably get back.
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︎ Oct 08 2021
Why did Yoda agree to train Luke Skywalker?
Because it made the Dagobah faster.
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︎ Aug 01 2022
I used to believe in reincarnationβ¦
β¦but the inheritance tax was astronomical.
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︎ May 09 2021
Humans go through reincarnation. What do shoes go through?
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︎ Dec 18 2020
I donβt believe in reincarnation ...
... but I plan to in my next life.
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︎ Jul 10 2021
Would you like to reincarnate as a tree?
No, I don't think I wood.
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︎ Apr 23 2021
I hope I get reincarnated as an animal.
Iβd like to have an otter body experience at least once.
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︎ May 09 2021
I didn't appreciate reincarnation until I got hit by that truck...
And woke up feeling like a whole new man
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︎ Jul 21 2020
When I'm grilling a steak, the smell of the juices makes my mouth water.
Wonder if that happens when a vegan mows their lawn.
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︎ Aug 26 2022
My health insurance company refused to pay my bill because I believe in reincarnation.
They said I have a pre existing condition.
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︎ Feb 15 2020
My friend believes in reincarnation and says in his former life, he was a calf slaughtered for the meat.
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︎ Dec 16 2018
An Indian woman offended me, so I cursed her to be reincarnated as a a garment worn by Hindu women.
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︎ Jan 20 2020
While out caroling one Christmas eve, Jeff & Don were tragically killed in the middle of singing "Deck the Halls". In a strange twist, they were reincarnated as ass-less leather chaps. Jeff looked at his friend and said...
..."Don, we now are gay apparel."
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︎ Dec 24 2015
I have tried to learn algebra, Iβm open to exploring calculus
But graphing is where I draw the line
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︎ Aug 04 2022
Hey dad, do you believe in reincarnation?
Because I sure didn't when I was your age!
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︎ Jul 29 2019
To all those who don't believe in reincarnation
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︎ May 08 2019
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︎ Mar 15 2017
I hate reincarnation
I hope it never comes back
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︎ Aug 29 2018
If I Die and get Reincarnated as Batteries, It will be fine
I'm never included in anything anyway.
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︎ Jun 22 2017
Share your favorite Tombstone Puns
Halloween is approaching and I am making some punny tombstone decorations, in the spirit of Disney's Haunted Mansion cemetery. I thought it would be fun to collect some new ones from the reddit community. Here are Disney's crypt puns. Please share any additional ones that you can come up with.
- Asher T. Ashes (Ashes to ashes)
- Bea Witch (Bewitch)
- C. U. Later (See you later)
- Clare Voince (Clairvoyance)
- Dustin T. Dust (Dust into dust)
- G. I. Missyou (Gee I miss you)
- Hail N. Hardy (Hale and hearty)
- Hal Lusinashun (Hallucination)
- Hap A. Rition (Apparition)
- I. Emma Spook (I am a spook)
- I. L. Beback (I'll be back)
- I. M. Mortal (I am mortal)
- I. M. Ready (I am ready)
- I. Trudy Departed (I truly departed)
- I. Trudy Dew (I truly do)
- Levi Tation (Levitation)
- Love U. Trudy (Love you truly)
- M. T. Tomb (Empty tomb)
- Manny Festation (Manifestation)
- Metta Fisiks (Metaphysics)
- Paul Tergyst (Poltergeist)
- Pearl E. Gates (Pearly Gates)
- Ray N. Carnation (Reincarnation)
- Rustin Peece (Rest in peace)
- Rusty Gates (Rusty Gates)
- Theo Later (See you later)
- U. R. Gone (You are gone)
- Wee G. Bord (Ouija board)
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︎ Oct 10 2021
This one is Bad
I'm the reincarnation of Michael Jackson. My pronouns are hee/hee/hee
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︎ Dec 18 2021
I'll be bringing my Cinco de Mayo leftovers to work tomorrow.
Looks like it'll be tacos de reincarne for lunch!
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︎ May 06 2021
What happens to cars after they die?
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︎ Oct 17 2020
Someone asked me if I'm pro-life, and I said
"Nah, I'm only amateur life. I need to reincarnate a few more times before I can go pro."
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︎ Feb 10 2020
I had some flowers in a vase, but they died. I looked at them again a few hours later, and it seemed they had come back to life!
I guess it was reincarnation
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︎ May 25 2019
If a Viking is reincarnated
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︎ Jan 16 2022
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