Because they're hill areas
One of the basses said, “Wait, last night we came back a couple minutes late and missed our entrance. How can we make sure that doesn’t happen tonight?”
Another bass said, “Don’t worry, I tied the pages of the conductor’s music together with a piece of string between the 3rd and 4th movement. It will take him a couple minutes to get it untied, so that will buy us a couple extra minutes to get back.”
So, they go next door to the bar, and with their newfound plan, they decide to drink even more and again lose track of time.
The third movement comes to a close, and the basses start staggering onto stage as the conductor is struggling with the string in his music. And of course, at this point, the crowd is on the edge of their seats…
It’s the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded.
“Donetsk for that ever again.”
For obvious reasons the North Saxons died out.
But then it clicked.
He took it one steppe at a time!
It's called Stagnation
Pastagonia, Argentina.
Her name was Urethra Franklin.
They call it Patago-nya
...So you can tell where a lumberjack is from by their ax scent.
Water Bordeauxed
..Cannes.
After a devastating earthquake Pat seesMike the Zen master and asks him - Why did this happen? He replies there are faults in everybody's karma in this region.
Namaste.
It's called playing the 'Get out of jail Brie card'
They were all eliminated from the interfaith regional limbo competition, but were awarded wonderful consolation prizes.
You can’t make it legally anymore though. A judge ruled that all the people supplying food were contributing to the delicacy of a miner.
The gardener asks what type of flowers they are putting in. His partner says, “We are planting Sneezeweed, Bee Balm, Lamb’s Ears, and Black-eyed Susans because they are the best perennials for the Pacific Northwest region.”
The gardener nodded in agreement, “You have been a wonderful addition. Thank you for bringing your knowledge and experience to the garden.”
“It has been a pleasure! Say, can you help me with this? I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong. I keep trying to lay this sod down, but I can’t get it to lay flat,” he confessed.
The gardener observed his partner as he attempted to lay down the sheet of grass, and came to a helpful conclusion.
The gardener explained, “Well, you are standing up and need to get closer to the ground. Kneel before sod.”
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A Milkshake.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Lean Beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Yo momma!
And the baker replies, “no, you’re right! It’s a cake!”
I could try harder to be, but I guess I'm just not Inuit.
Iowaska
Moravia
He told he had good news, my large raise I had submitted for had just been approved, I was so surprised I nearly lost control. He then called me back to tell me I'd also been promoted to store manager. I couldn't believe it I swerved again. I then got a call from the ceo who told me he wants me to be regional director, I lost it and ended up in a ditch. A cop asked what happened, I said I careered off the road.
It will really shake Djibouti.
It’s called acoustic Qatar.
There's a small part of me that really enjoys that
I just don’t know why.
He doesn’t drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles...
but then I realize there's just too much Toulouse.
They are just big raisins.
This is why we can't have Nice things
The moth drops down into the nearest chair and says “What’s the problem?”
Moth says “I don’t even know where to start. First of all, my boss is a vicious tyrant who gets off on the petty torments he puts me through day in and day out, and I’m too spineless to stand up to him, so I just take it and I’ve gradually come to hate myself for it. Also, every morning I wake up to the same prune-face old crone to whom I pledged my vows so many years ago. I used to love her, but that love has become like some sun-festering beached whale trying to die. We lost our daughter last year to one of the bitterest, coldest winters we’ve ever had to face in this region. Isn’t it funny, doc, how all the prayer circles and charity drives in the world amount to pretty much nothing in the face of that cold, impartial face of winter, that bleak, pounding, harsh fist of a callous environment, carrying on with its machinations without regard to our lives, loves, hopes and dreams? Isn’t that hysterical, Doc? Oh and then there’s my son. Doc, I don’t love him anymore. I don’t know what it is but I look in his eyes and I see that same harried look of gutless cowardice that I see when I stare at my own face in the mirror. If I wasn’t such a coward, Doc, I know I’d be able to scrape together enough pride to grab that cocked and loaded shotgun I keep by the bedside table, and just run amok and put an end to this grim facade once and for all. I start with the wife, then the boy of course before putting the barrell in my own mouth. Believe you me, Doc, I’d be doing the world a favor. I have nothing to look forward to but a continuation of this spiraling black hole that is my life, this existential cesspool that is the perpetuation of my lingering skid-mark on society. I despise people yet I crave their approval. I’m judgemental yet I care about nothing. I’m bitter, hateful and afraid. I’m alive yet I feel like the walking dead. This is it, Doc: I am a living, breathing, disease.”
The doctor stares at him for a while then finally says “Jeez, Moth, you definitely have some problems. But I’m a podiatrist. You need a psychiatrist. Why’d you come in here?”
The moth says,”Your light was on.”
But the wooden underwear on the other hand gives me splinters in my nether-lands!
EDIT: NEther regions to Nether Lnads!
Stake n shake!
(I'm not sure if this is a regional restaurant but I assure you it exists.)
He should really be called Uncle.
Can't really take credit, my nieces made the joke while watching the movie. Regionally "Aunt" is pronounced as "ant"
I was told my jokes were cheesy, but I think they're pretty Gouda.
So yesterday was surreal.... I was following an ambulance into town, when I noticed a small metal box sitting on the rear bumper. When the ambulance turned right the box flew off and landed on the side of the road against the curb. Call me curious or just the Good Samaritan that I am, I pulled over and retrieved it. When I opened the box there was a human toe packed in ice inside it. Whoops, that’s a serious mistake I thought. So unsure if the ambulance was going to the Regional Hospital I called the hospital and explained what I had found. The lady on the other end of the phone said “Yes, the ambulance had just arrived minus the box”. I gave her my location and asked if they were going to send another ambulance to collect it or should I bring it in? The lady replied “No, we’ll just send a toe truck.”
They were all eliminated from the interfaith regional limbo competition, but were awarded wonderful consolation prizes.
