Just found out that my rod and reel is radioactive

Going nuclear fission

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ekojonsiaixelsyD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
did they reel-ize the party was over?
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spoonbirdie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
cycle, gyration, reel, revolution, rotation, run, spin, trundling, turn, twirl, undulation, whirl

Synonym roll

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mustdashgaming
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Fishing is the reel deal
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jkcru
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a man with a fishing reel on his head? Rod
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theph03n1x
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2014
🚨︎ report
A fisherman came to me telling me he had just reeled in the biggest fish hes ever seen, and that he was going to give it to me for free.

I asked him, 'whats the catch?'

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpookyMemeBoy5001
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Never go fishing with a dj

They keep dropping the bass

πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/db720
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
The fly fishing tournament will not have spectators this year.

But it will be LIVE STREAMED.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elster000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend and I went fishing. He cast out first and got a bite. So he reeled in a trumpet. Then he cast out in a different area, got a bite and reeled in a clarinet.

After he cast out the third time, I said "maybe you'll reel in a bass soon!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill....

So, I sent him a 'Get Well Soon' card.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What's it called when you're reeling in a fish you've just caught, and another one comes along and eats it?

Finterference

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/feathersoft
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I got banned from /r/DadJokes for submitting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

πŸ‘︎ 686
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a good fisherman

Master-baiter

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dhanikshetty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A man is walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:

Bump…

Bump…

Bump…

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

Bump…

Bump…

BUMP…

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home. The casket still bouncing quickly behind him.

Faster…

Faster…

FASTER…

Bump…

Bump…

BUMP…

He runs up to his door, fumbles with the keys, opens the door, rushes in and slams and locks the door behind him.

Rushing up the stairs to his bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. His head is reeling. His breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup as the casket!

And…

The coffin stops….

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ParadoxXSchock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an actor and a director?

One gets in real trouble, the other in reel trouble.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't know why my fishing buddy is worried about the Coronavirus

He never catches anything

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Cars rip by at 200mph, so how fast do you have to be a NASCAR cameraman?

Reel quick

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one fishing pole say to the other?

Reel recognize reel.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smakattak
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife bought me a new hose holder for my birthday...

That was reel nice of her!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Granddad just reeled off this burn:

Got on to the subject of ice skating after dinner, when my granddad told us that "you can have nasty accidents at ice rinks... Me and your grandma first met at one"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalumW
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2015
🚨︎ report
I once caught a fish with a hundred dollar bill in its mouth.

I know this story may sound a little fishy, some of you may even consider it a whale of a tale, but if you take it in tide I’m sure you’ll sea the porpoise isn’t me just beingkoi or * squidding* around or fishing for attention; it was shrimply an act of cod that I’m hooked on sharing with others. If it reely makes anyone crabby or puts me on thin ice, just let minnow and I’ll gladly clam up. I’d hate to see this sub flounder or take a dive because of my own shellfish ambitions.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MC_Minnow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Punny!
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend was very irritated because his fishing pole broke and he had to wind up the fishing line manually.

He was being a reel crank.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?

Something catchy!

πŸ‘︎ 177
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dustingooding
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I almost caught a fish today, but my fishing pole wouldn’t pull it in properly.

It was a reel bad situation.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend really enjoyed the Riverdance show...

She said it was a reel treat!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Imagine a world without toilet paper turning to Hollywood for answers...

Shit just got reel.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Fishing is relaxing
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mareno999
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
My stepdad was the one who took me fishing every year growing up.

I consider him my reel dad.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CSwork1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Dating is like fishing

Then it gets reel

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unknownamouse
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I wanted to make a fishing joke.

But none of them were reel-ly good.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
How do fishermen listen to music?

Bass boosted

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/30847192
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2017
🚨︎ report
What do call the illegitimate son of a fish?

A reel bass turd.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miyashinzki
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Not all fishing tales are true

But most are based on reel events

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/owlzitty
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
If you think we have problems, you should see fishermen...

Now they have reel problems!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZaLimitless
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I went on a traumatic fishing trip when I was a kid.

I'm still reeling from it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strawbalicious
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I knew you'd say that (xpost from r/TalesFromRetail)

Posted this on r/Talesfromretail and it was suggested I post here.

I used to work in store where we would ask customers if they had an account number at the check out. The number would be put in manually before putting the shopping through and the customer would get back one penny on every pound they spent.

One day a family who I hadn't seen before came in and while the mum and kids wandered off to start shopping. The dad came over to the side of my till while I was serving customers, announced his account number and then ran off to join his family without saying anything else. OK, that was weird, I went on serving.

About 10 minutes later the family are queued for my till. When it comes to the point where I should ask for their number the dad grins at me and I realise what's going on. Fortunately, I have a bizarrely good memory for numbers and, without skipping a beat, I reel off the one he gave me when he came in the store. The kids both gasp and their eyes go wide. They look at their dad in awe.

As I'm putting through the shopping, I hear the dad say:

>See? I told you they were psychic.

πŸ‘︎ 200
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πŸ‘€︎ u/huskydaisy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Who did the fish call when he wanted to buy a house?

An eel estate agent

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunnyStunny
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I need to buy fishing line

For reel

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
🚨︎ report
My girlfriends father, the king of the dad joke/pun, walks past a can of tick repellent..

Glances at his watch, taps it, keeps walking and says "Still ticking. What a scam"

On a daily/hourly basis he reels them off. It's amazing. He also photoshops pictures (using Microsoft Paint, because he likes the challenge) of himself into various ridiculous and punny situations that might be the most comically genius things I've ever seen. If you're interested I'll find some for you guys.

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pmqv
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2016
🚨︎ report
How do you quantify a fisherman's success?

Net profit

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultra-saurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2016
🚨︎ report
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I just had a winch installed on my boat today," the guy tells the bartender.

"Ship just got reel."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firegoat1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
You think you have problems, you should see fishermen...

Now they have reel problems!

Edit: Spelling

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZaLimitless
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A man is walking home alone late one foggy night

When behind him he hears:

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back and makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street towards him.

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins running home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.

FASTER

FASTER

BUMP...

BUMP...

BUMP...

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, and slams it shut and locks it behind him.

However, the casket crashes through the door, with the lid of the casket clacking

Clapity-BUMP...

Clapity-BUMP...

Clapity-BUMP...

on his heels, the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs in the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him

A man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the bottle of cough syrup at the casket and...

The coffin stops.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Energylegs23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
It was a dark and foggy night

A man is walking home alone one foggy evening, when behind him he faintly hears:

thump...

thump...

thump...

Senses tingling, he begins walking faster only to look back and make out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street towards him.

THUMP...

THUMP...

THUMP...

Terrified, the man begins running home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.

FASTER

FASTER

THUMP...

THUMP...

THUMP...

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, slams it shut and locks it behind him.

However, the casket crashes through the door, and with the lid of the casket clacking on his heels, the terrified man runs.

Clappity-THUMP...

Clappity-THUMP...

Clappity-THUMP...

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH! the casket breaks down the door. Thumping and clapping towards him, the man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws it at the casket and...

The coffin stops.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MysteryOrange7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report

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