You keeled my father. Prepare two die.
*I sent this to my brother and he replies: Was his name Inyougo?
^(What a freaking professional)
Sails are through the roof.
Sails are going through the roof.
He keeled the other fellow just like that!
Keeping up a-pier-ances
The Sturgeon-General
A fine piece of bass
All I really want is gulls
About a bouy
Gulls don't like bouys, gulls like cars and money
Bass and titties
Little ado a-trout nothing
Please keel free to add your own :)
He has a license 2×keel
My 2 year old daughter figured out she could wear her underwear on her head. My wife told her to show me.
Kid: "Daddy, I wear the undies!"
Me: "Kiddo, you wear undies under. Wearing them over makes them ovaries"
My wife keeled over and started coughing from laughter.
In Australia Fathers Day is on the 1st of September. It was a really nice day for Fathers Day where I live, the weather was perfect so this afternoon we were sitting outside in the sun in our backyard which faces a river. A boat went past and we could hear a big dinging noise going on and on, like something metal tied to a cord was flapping around in the wind and banging something else metal.
Dad pipes up, "God, if I was that guy in the boat and had to listen to that every time I took it out I'd go crazy! I'd probably even keel over!"
Happy Fathers day Dad :)
We got to this rocky enclosure they made for mountain goats, who were all just hanging out on this huge rock face. Right at the top there was this really big goat, looking all majestic with a very fluffy coat.
Girl: Look at that one at the top, he's looking over the rest like some kind of big boss.
Me: Yeah, they call him the Goatfather.
She walked away while I keeled over in laughter.
A father, on his deathbed, with his son weeping over him.
Son: "I'm so sad" Father: "hi sad"... he leans forward and whispers "I'm dead." The father keels over.
they simply keel over.
He gets out of his car to fill up, spilling some gas on the ground. Just then a dog runs up, licks the puddle, and starts running laps around the station. After five minutes, the dog keels over, all fours in the air. Nervous for the dog, the man asks the attendant whats wrong. The attendant says, "nothing, he just ran out of gas." (from a friend's dad)
We were sitting at lunch and my father has the text message ring tone that sounds like a bird chirping when it rings. He was receiving a lot of messages at lunch and kept asking the waitress if there was a bird in the restaurant. My mother became irritated and exclaimed, "I'll show you the bird" and then proceeded to flip him off and keel over laughing at her own joke.
