This kEELs me every time
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/eelsnstuff
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
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Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in water...

....you can safely wear it on your head... because it's capsized.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/b_wanker
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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Three men were onboard a ship playing dice on deck when the oldest man angrily jumped off the front of the boat. The younger man said..

You keeled my father. Prepare two die.

*I sent this to my brother and he replies: Was his name Inyougo?

^(What a freaking professional)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/calvinweight
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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kEELing it
๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/eelsnstuff
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
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I started a business building Yachts in my attic

Sails are through the roof.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 706
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mallander
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 17 2018
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I just saw a ship builder hit a guy with a structure that runs along the center of a ship's bottom...

He keeled the other fellow just like that!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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I've started a business making boats in my attic...

Sails are going through the roof.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dcsco
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 16 2017
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Boat names

Keeping up a-pier-ances

The Sturgeon-General

A fine piece of bass

All I really want is gulls

About a bouy

Gulls don't like bouys, gulls like cars and money

Bass and titties

Little ado a-trout nothing

Please keel free to add your own :)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DrToastNBake
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
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Why does James Bond drives catamarans?

He has a license 2ร—keel

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/secretlyaromantic
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
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Undies over

My 2 year old daughter figured out she could wear her underwear on her head. My wife told her to show me.

Kid: "Daddy, I wear the undies!"
Me: "Kiddo, you wear undies under. Wearing them over makes them ovaries"

My wife keeled over and started coughing from laughter.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/theorin331
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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Went to the Zoo with this girl I'm seeing...

We got to this rocky enclosure they made for mountain goats, who were all just hanging out on this huge rock face. Right at the top there was this really big goat, looking all majestic with a very fluffy coat.

Girl: Look at that one at the top, he's looking over the rest like some kind of big boss.

Me: Yeah, they call him the Goatfather.

She walked away while I keeled over in laughter.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ViolentWanderer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 02 2016
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Fathers Day dad joke

In Australia Fathers Day is on the 1st of September. It was a really nice day for Fathers Day where I live, the weather was perfect so this afternoon we were sitting outside in the sun in our backyard which faces a river. A boat went past and we could hear a big dinging noise going on and on, like something metal tied to a cord was flapping around in the wind and banging something else metal.

Dad pipes up, "God, if I was that guy in the boat and had to listen to that every time I took it out I'd go crazy! I'd probably even keel over!"

Happy Fathers day Dad :)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hodgkinsonable
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 01 2013
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On his deathbed

A father, on his deathbed, with his son weeping over him.

Son: "I'm so sad" Father: "hi sad"... he leans forward and whispers "I'm dead." The father keels over.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/robopanda95
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 26 2017
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Old yachtsmen don't die,

they simply keel over.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/2076baseballbat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 16 2017
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So a guy drives to a gas station...

He gets out of his car to fill up, spilling some gas on the ground. Just then a dog runs up, licks the puddle, and starts running laps around the station. After five minutes, the dog keels over, all fours in the air. Nervous for the dog, the man asks the attendant whats wrong. The attendant says, "nothing, he just ran out of gas." (from a friend's dad)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DysenteryLarry
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 19 2015
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My mom dadjoked my dad!

We were sitting at lunch and my father has the text message ring tone that sounds like a bird chirping when it rings. He was receiving a lot of messages at lunch and kept asking the waitress if there was a bird in the restaurant. My mother became irritated and exclaimed, "I'll show you the bird" and then proceeded to flip him off and keel over laughing at her own joke.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/D-Cat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 26 2013
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