Un furiOSO
I said, "YOO! That's what's up!"
Only my father in law laughed.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
L'invasion des Huns
No, it grows on the Sunni side.
Barber-que
Because you have to Que before you can pee
I said that must be hard to pronounce.
Que eye rolls from her, laughter from my friends.
Provolone
The contestant spells it right and the judge replies: βEso si que es.
Ciudad.
ΒΏQue pasta?
Norse America
It's Juan small step for a man, Juan giant leap for mankind!
... encore faut-il que ce soit la sienne !
Barber-que
English and Spanish.
The Trump administration is making a game out of getting Latinos out of the country, they call it deporte.
Spanish heathens have to pay extra to preforn their ceremonies. Pagan rituals
What sci-fi weapon does the King of Spain prefer? A rey-gun!
Do you know how many times anyone had to tell me how to say 'eleven' in Spanish? Once.
Exclusivamente en espaΓ±ol (PerdΓ³n por errores gramaticales)
QuΓ© comida es el mas mojado? El agua-cate
Cual comida no puede decir una mentira? La verdadura
Como se llama un libro sobra la revoluciΓ³n? Libre!
QuΓ© es exactamente una mejor que Beyonce? Beydoce
Cual animal siempre tiene un novio o novia? El Parejaro.
Cual comida es el menos diverido? Aburrito.
Sobre que papel de pelicula de Madonna no le quiere hablar? Evita!
Quiero que me digΓ‘is mas. Nunca tengo suficiente bromas!
"ΒΏQue pasta?"
The spaghetti looks on, confused. The meatball says,
"ΒΏQue, pasta?"
He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.
"Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl.
"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl.
"No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.
"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl.
"No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.
"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed.
"No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience.
"No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.
As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "Eso sΓ que es!"
"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.
Por que pine
Without missing a beat I say, "About twice as big as an Halfstein." Que groans and awkward laughs and my first friend says, "You've been hanging out with your dad to much."
ΒΏQue pasta?
A Barbie-Que!
ΒΏQue Pasta?
My dad asked me to look for some chips so I went to look for them...
Me: Donde estan? - Where are they?
Dad: En la alacena. - In the cupboard.
I got the chips and when I got back to my dad a spark of creativity came to me...
Me: No las podia encontrar, es que estaba buscando en el almuerzo y no en la cena.
-I couldn't find them, seems I was looking in lunch and not in dinner.
My dad smiled and ate his chips.
for reference, alacena = cupboard, cena = dinner
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
A man from Spain visiting the US walked into a clothes store. He said to the clerk, "Quiero comprar unos calcetines, por favor." Unfortunately, the clerk didn't speak Spanish, and the Spaniard didn't speak English. They searched all around the store, the clerk pointing to various items, hoping to find what the foreign customer wanted.
He pointed at jackets, but the foreigner shook his head and said "No quiero chaquetas." Then he pointed at shirts, but the client was not satisfied and said "No quiero ni camisas." The clerk pointed at sweaters, pants, shoes... but the Spaniard said he didn't want "ni sudaderas, ni pantalones, ni zapatos...".
They couldn't come across the item the shopper needed. Finally, the clerk points to a table of socks, and the man from Spain exclaimed with joy, "Β‘Eso sΓ que es!" The clerk exploded in anger, shouting "If you could spell it, why didn't you say it before?!"
A que-pasa-tor
Que?
Her: My ear is ringing Me: Are you gonna answer it?
Que arm punching
Phone: "Call from ... Jorge S ... Jorge S ..."
Me: "?Jorge es que?"
Family: (groans)
She came over to my house for a bit tonight and were getting kinda frisky. Her glasses fell off the top of her head and got tangled in her hair and we had to stop to get them out. When she finally did, she said "Sorry my hairs a little knotty." Without skipping a beat i said "I love it when you're 'knotty'." Que the end of frisky times. Worth it.
We're all eating dinner and my grandmother is over.
Gma: Cbreezy's brother, you look like you got really sunburned recently!
Bro: Yeah, I got it playing football, dad got it pretty bad too.
Dad: No, you got son-burn. I got dad-burn.
Que my overzealous laugh.
Edit: Format. Phones aren't great for posting...
I don't know if you could handle it. It could be in-tents.
Que eye roll and "you are not even funny"
My parents are both immigrants from Taiwan and came in the mid 80's. We've always owned restaurants (currently have a Japanese steak house this is important for later) so their English isn't all that bad and has improved over time. I've never gotten a single dad joke from him. Ever.
Que yesterday we are driving home from a family dinner to celebrate his birthday. We all get into the vehicle and my mom says in Chinese "You've got something hanging onto your shirt, it looks stringy. Is that a spider web?"
I respond, "What? That's his pet, he can't raise a pet spider?"
Dad says, "Yeah I raise them really big and fat so we can make spider rolls at the restaurant." (Spider roll is typically softshell crab in a roll with other stuffs for the non-sushi fans out there)
I groaned, chuckled, then reveled in all that was my first dad joke. It was awesome. Thanks for reading guys! Sorry it's so long.
"98.6 Β°F"
Sorry if it doesn't translate well, but in spanish is:
"A que temperatura estamos?"
"36.6 Β°C"
I just said that without thinking, I guess my dad joke gene is fully awake since I had my daughter.
Last night we were celebrating my mom's birthday, and as we talked while playing loteria, my dad was speaking about someone and how nice he was and said "Es que tiene la sangre liviana", so I repplied "how do you know? have you weighed it?". Weirdly, everybody (except my dad) started laughing.
Reference: "Tiene la sangre liviana" literally means "He/she has light (weight) blood" , figuratively means "he/she's easy going".
A few weeks ago my wife and I were at a festival called "The Banjo-b-que Fest". On Saturday afternoon we stopped at a convenience store and upon noticing my concert wristband the clerk gave me a smirk and asked "How's the festival, did you eat any good banjos while you were there?" I replied, " I tried one, a bit stringy for my tasty. " His smirk disappeared after that.
Special Que.
Gave her a kiss and our lips got zapped from static. "I guess there's still sparks between us"
Que groan....
So I donated blood recently, and one of the Doctors(?) Nurses(?) for the Red-Cross named Tommy was a jokester. So I start donating and he is cracking all these jokes and at one point he gets to talking about his childhood. Tommy says, "When I was a kid I had a step-ladder." I asked him what was special about it afterwards and he said, "well I never met my real ladder, but this one did the job decently enough..."
Que groans from everyone at the donation center.
"I think I'm going to watch frozen this summer." "but then it will be thawed!" Que grones
Me and my boss were killing time last night by pretending to talk like hillbillies when I busted out this gem: Me "What is a hillbilly's favorite kind of bread?" Boss "What?" Me "Inbread"
Que moans/laughter from the Greek Gods.
Me: This hose must be a dominatrix.
Girlfriend: What?
With a shit eatting grin I say: Its kinky!
Girlfriend: Que sigh + eyeroll
As we see another animal crossing sign, he says "I NEVER see any animals!"
"Sure you do!" I said pointing at some road construction, "Look! A Bobcat!"
Que grumbles from the backseat.
I was attempting to order a pizza online, and the website repeatedly told me my address was wrong, when it wasn't. I said 'I'm really losing my patience.'
que grandad...
'That's what hospitals do! hahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahah'
commence groans
Me: "Those old cars were pretty big, I wonder how they drove them around"
Dad: "Probably with the steering wheel"
Que my rolling eyes and his uncontrollable laughter
ππ«π¬
Es o'si que es (S O C K S)
βQue pastaβ
Que Pasta?
