I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” Puzzled, she asked, “What’s that got to do with anything?” I chuckled, "Well, that means..."
My wife was a little puzzled when I suddenly bought some new beads for her abacus. Smiling, I said to her...
"Honey, it’s the little things that count!"
Wanting to impress my son at the zoo today, I revealed to him, "Used to be best friends with a giraffe, but we had a falling out." Puzzled, he asked, "What happened?" I shook my head, "I don't know really, but I felt..."
"He was always looking down on me!"
After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?" Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.
He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"
There was a herd of cows on this big hill. A big gust of wind came by and blew all the smaller cows away. Puzzled, the rancher went up to one of the bulls that were still standing and asks,"How come you bulls are still standing?" The bull replies...
"Cuz we bulls wobble but we don't fall down."
I looked up from my computer and asked my son, "Have you heard of the blind cyclops brothers?" Puzzled, he replied, "Uh, no." I responded...
My daughter was playing in her sandbox when I suddenly asked if her small bucket was sick. Puzzled, she asked me why...
I responded, "Well, it IS a little pail!"
My daughter and I were playing on the beach today when I picked up her small bucket and stared at it for a long time. Puzzled, she asked, "Daddy, what're you doing!!?" Sounding concerned, I said, "Your bucket is sick!"
Surprised, she asked, "How do you know?"
I replied, "Well, it's a little pail!"
Today while at work some coworkers were talking about the mushrooms they started cooking. I exclaimed “I like to think I’m a mushroom” they looked puzzled so I clarified “I like to think I’m a fun guy”
My family is all worried about my addiction to dot to dot puzzles. It's OK though...
I know where to draw the line...
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day.
And the box said 2-4 years.
What do you get when you cross a puzzle with another puzzle?
The inventor of the crossword puzzle lives near me...
He's 3 streets across and 2 down.
I did a puzzle in an hour
And it said it was supposed to take 3-4 years on the box
What do you call a fake number puzzle?
I just invented a new number puzzle game that is reminiscent of another commonly known game!
We are doing a jigsaw puzzle of the human anatomy, and I hid the upper arm.
Nobody else finds this humerus.
Just wanted to share my success! I finished this puzzle I’ve been working on this morning..
It said 2-4 years, but I completed it in 3 months!
Don't interrupt someone working intently on a word puzzle
Chances are, you'll hear some cross words
Thanks to our mutual dislike of newspaper puzzles, my wife and I have enjoyed a long and happy marriage. Thirty years and...
Can someone help me with this crossword puzzle? 7 letters, starts with R, clue is "Taken away from original place or position"
What do you call a finished puzzle of bacon and pancakes?
I wrote a pun about puzzles the other day but completely forgot it
If anyone could help me piece it together that’d be great.
My uncle worked for a newspaper's crossword puzzle team, but only contributed one awesome clue in his career...
He was a one-hint wonder!
Proud dad moment: After 5 months, I finally finished the jigsaw puzzle I was working on!
I finished a puzzle all by myself. It only took me a few weeks
Even though the box said 4-5 years.
Working on a crossword puzzle. Can anyone tell me the first initial and last name of the lead actor from Cast Away?
My daughter asked me for a recommendation for a good book. I told her I had the perfect book in my collection for her to read. It has drama, romance, betrayal, excitement, action, love, loss, heroes, villians, mystery and puzzles. Pretty much everything really. Excitedly she asked me for it.
I handed her the dictionary.
Sad to hear about the death of the man who invented the jigsaw puzzle.
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.
She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that he’s cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. She’s puzzled for a second and then says:
Icy, what you did there.
Son: How are you, Dad? - Dad: Well, I’m better than a crossword puzzle!
I’m not 6 down, 3 across.
a part of my puzzle just died, and all i gotta say is
The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
My dad’s answer to everything is alcohol....
He doesn’t drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles...
How many puzzle pieces does it take to solve an anime puzzle?
One Piece.
or:
Over 9000.
Only a few people will understand it xD
For five years, I've been drawing visual pun puzzles and putting them up on Mondays. They're kinda hard but really fun to solve. Here are a few.
imgur.com/a/4s6Qf
After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?" Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.
He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"
I don’t mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day...
and the box said 2-4 years!
Proud!! I just put a puzzle together, it only took 2 days.
I told my 7 year old daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field."
Puzzled she asked, "What's that got to do with anything?
I chuckled, "Well that means....its pasture bedtime. "
Dad: I just put a puzzle together
Dad: I just put a puzzle together. It only took one day. Box says 2 to 4 years
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