He says there's nothing like that sound to make you jump out of bed faster
Man comes into a restaurant that proudly claims "World's best chili" on a big neon sign. Since he was so hungry he orders a bowl. The woman behind the counter says, "See that man down there at the end of the counter. He just ordered the last bowl." Disheartened he order a blue plate special and waited. He noticed the man had not touched his chili. After a few minutes, he approaches the guy , "Hey is that chili really world famous?"
"Yep, so they say."
"Wow, I love chili, I noticed you haven't touch it while I've been sitting here. You going it eat it?"
The guy looks over at the man and pushes the bowl to him, "Have at it."
"Thanks," he says and digs in enjoying every spicy bite. Half way done, he notices a dead mouse in the bottom of the bowl, and pukes it all back into the bowl.
The guy at the end of the bar speaks up, "Yeah I did that too."
Then why aren't you laughing?
Because thunder rolls and lightning strikes!
It was disgusting on so many levels.
...took a while but he was coming around slowly, though.
Breathe you idiot, breathe!
After a few beers, the pile of vomit starts to weep.
The bartender says, "What's going on?"
The pile of vomit says, "I'm feeling a little sentimental. This is where I was brought up."
It was gross.
I'll name one Kate and the other one Duplikate.
"Yeah, they're my high/wasted jeans."
The cash-ew
It brought out the wurst in him.
Sicksicksick
I saw it and quickly shouted "Not on my watch!"
Number 1:
and number 2
...I'm gonna throw up. I bet you all wish I wouldn't have brought this back up.
Thatβs why I puked.
I was watching TV with my dad and told him I wasn't feeling too well and might throw up. Sure enough I end up going to the bathroom and throw up in the toilet. My dad had poked his head around the corner and says, "Well no wonder you threw up, you had puke in your stomach!"
and I ended up puking my guts out. Afterwards, all I wanted to do was lay down and take a nap. The only thing I could think of was 'wow, that really took a lot out of me'.
My daughter had just seen the dog puke on the floor. In horror she said, "Uggghhh it is all foamy!" To which I replied, "Yes, it is all fo' you!"
My coworker and his dad were at an ice fishing event a couple years ago and they saw this guy crawling on the ice, so drink he couldn't walk. He puked and fell over. His buddy comes to get him and puts him in a sled to bring him to shore.
The friend hears my coworker and his dad laughing and he says "that's what happens when you have 151 for breakfast! Haha"
Coworker's dad replies, "Good thing it wasn't 152!"
BREATHE!
