What did the frog say when he jumped in the puddle?

Knee deep

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skullchin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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β€œPoor old fool.” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he’d humor the old man and asked, β€œSo how many have you caught today?”

The old man replied, β€œYou’re the eighth.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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Some see a puddle of mosquito larva

I see a pool of enbitenment

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beanimus0829
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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Two puddles of vomit are walking along the street one day...

Suddenly, one of them starts sniffling and getting all emotional.

The second asks, "why, what's the matter?"

The emotional vomit replies, "Just nostalgia - this is the place I was brought up..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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Wannna hear a dirty joke

A kid fell in a mud puddle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rubyreddove
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Several people have been found lying dead in puddles of milk with bananas in their hands.

Police are searching for a cereal killer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ducktapedaddy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2017
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Ant in a puddle

Two ants came across a puddle in their way. Instead of walking the long way around, one ant jumped in to swim across. Confused, his friend yelled out, "What are you doing?" to which the swimming ant replied, "Being afishant."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glynnpaddy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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A bit of oil was floating in a puddle creating a swirly rainbow effect

It's pretty slick

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2017
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A guy fell in a puddle

Everybody was laughing but i have a dry sense of humor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pewl1337
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2017
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Vanilla Ice had a meltdown the other day.

Now he goes by vanilla puddle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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What is the fastest liquid on earth???

Milk, because it's pasteurized before you see it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drake_Pancake
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2015
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What do you call an old snowman?

Water.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/74CK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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A waitress was taking an order from a dad and a 4 year old at a table.

The kid kept screaming, screeching poorly-articulated profanities at the disinterested father. Over the screaming chaos, the father managed to order a water for himself, and an orange juice for his kid. The waitress came by with the drink, and within moments the kid smashed his cup onto the floor out of pure, unaimed toddler rage, spilling the drink all over the floor and the waitress.

The father apologized, but asked if the gremlin could still have a second orange juice, hoping the kid would miraculously calm down. The waitress conceded despite the terribly behaved toddler, and returned to the shrieking zone with a second orange juice. She had forgotten to clean up the puddle of orange juice however, and slipped. The cup of juice went straight into the kid's face, and like a fire extinguisher to a flame, the kid just went silent, as if a lesson had been learned. Everyone in the restaurant looked at the table in silence.

Juice twice had finally been served.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TahLoow
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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Our dog died yesterday. While lifting him up, dad says he's like dead weight

and my sister laughs, and she keeps saying she doesn't know why she laughed, we were all crying before this and after too.

RIP Puddles :(

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xThomas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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What do you call a snowman in July?

A puddle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/P1QEL
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
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Dad dropped this one on me back in '77.

We were driving down a Texas road late at night in my Dads' 72 Pontiac Grand Prix when a bug spalts on the windshield. The kind that makes a thud and leaves a two inch puddle of elongated goo. Without turning his attention from the road my Dad asked:

"You know what the last thing was to go through that bugs mind ?"

Suddenly, expecting some philosophical insight my father had into death I quietly asked "What?"

My Dad takes a drag on his Winston, exhales, and still never looking away from the road says: "His ass."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zandt88
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2016
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So a guy drives to a gas station...

He gets out of his car to fill up, spilling some gas on the ground. Just then a dog runs up, licks the puddle, and starts running laps around the station. After five minutes, the dog keels over, all fours in the air. Nervous for the dog, the man asks the attendant whats wrong. The attendant says, "nothing, he just ran out of gas." (from a friend's dad)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DysenteryLarry
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2015
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I just got a dadjoke from my childhood.

I was in my single digits, and my dad was taking me for a walk through a frozen park during winter. I kept stepping on top of frozen puddles trying to crack the ice underneath me. Since I was making my pants all wet, after a while my dad started to get really frustrated, and he said "You're on thin ice".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/soraendo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2015
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Hope this brightens your day!

This is my first post and one of the first dadjokes I've made. I shared this one with my friends after we had our first snow this year:

I've been very reflective today. Mainly because when the sunlight hit the snow and puddles, the reflections kept hitting me more than usual….

Quickly leave room

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aostapovicz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2013
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Wanna hear a dirty joke?

A white horse in a mud puddle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adolf_Hitler_-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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