Do you use toilet seat liners in public restrooms?

Or do you not give a crap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/platformjuan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Public places never have shitty toilet paper...

until you use it.

Edit: I came up with this whole using a public restroom that have the worst tp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/V2Slash
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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Management confronted the maintenance man on why he was installing bars on the public toilet...

Turns out he was making an Arrestroom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RidleyXJ
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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Why are pilots afraid of public toilets?

They don’t want to go into a bad stall!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/G200Sleepr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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Public toilets have it rough...

It really is a tankless job

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yourmama127
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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I blocked a public toilet the other day.

People kept opening the cubicle door and saying, "Oi, pal, get out of the way, will you?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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I heard that public toilets are biblical

As soon as you step inside, there's 1st, 2nd, and 3rd john right there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gunnrhildr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2017
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In a public toilet with dad

We stopped for bathroom break during a car trip, and while we were taking wizz in the facilities (no one else there) dad suddenly goes "Does it still burn while you pee?" I mumbled something like "No...I mean no it never did". Almost got me there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elvis_jagger
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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It doesn't matter how good the soap smells....

Never come out of the public toilets smelling your fingers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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A short essay on the benefits of beating the shit out of each other β€” A satirical essay based on a single, overplayed pun

In my opinion we should beat the shit out of constipated people because:

  1. Laxatives are an unhealthy way of dealing with feces. On the other hand, beating the shit out of someone is a good way to practice sports activities like, running, grip strength, punching techniques etc.

  2. Other methods of dealing with feces take alot of money. Laxatives aren't cheap in our flawed healthcare system! On the other hand, there are people that are willing to pay you to beat the shit out of you. By using this method you can become richer and deal with your shitty problems.

  3. Constipation requires being in the bathroom for a long time. This can be very lonely for the people involved. However, beating the shit out of others can be done in any place. Your home, the local park, or even the shady street corner! Not only that it's a very social activity, requiring a minimum of at least 2 people, but usually done in groups of 2-5 people.

Although some people might say, that beating the shit out of each other is violent, most of them have never been to a public toilet and hence are unable to realize how much more painful and violent the alternative is.

In summery, beating the shit out of people is a good, legitimate, and affordable alternative to laxatives and is a better, more progressive way, to deal with constipation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a5paperblank
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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Classic dad toilet joke

Went to use a public toilet and there was a father and his young son using the urinal, after the dad finished his business he let a fart rip (as you do).

His young son got a bit of a shock and asked, 'what was that?!', to which the father smugly replied 'can't have rain without thunder!'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grunyonz
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2014
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Needed a wii

Walking through town with my daughter who has been asking for a Nintendo Wii for a long time.

Daughter asks for one because she got a good report.

No.

Asks for one if we see it on sale.

No.

Asks for one if she does all her chores for 3 months straight.

No.

Asks for an early birthday present.

I crack. "Ok honey, I'll take you for a wii"

Arrive at public toilets and tell her to go and get one.

"You're not funny dad"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shinjetsu01
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2014
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