Psychological Abuse Puns

Maybe it’s just me, but I think one of these options is “taking the Lord’s name in vain” far more than the other.

(I still love her very much, and I know that it is difficult to see other’s abuse when you are being abused yourself, but it’s still just so frustrating.)

I watched 'Part 33(S20E14)' and as an emotional abuse survivor, that episode resonated with me and it was interesting to watch....

Can anyone recommend some episodes dealing with psychological, emotional abuse?

I am initiating divorce proceedings in Connecticut and seeking custody of my five year old daughter. My wife is an alcoholic who has relapsed and been carrying on an affair since leaving rehab in September. Lately, she gets drunk or high on pills and stalks me throughout the house saying she wants to “talk,” often late at night. Then, she proceeds to berate me by needling on my insecurities and going into detail what she does with the other man.

I am concerned because the state expects us to live civilly together throughout the proceedings, but I’m afraid the abuse will only get worse when she is served and faced with supervised visitation rights. I have recorded on my phone (video and voice recordings) her abusive behaviors towards me and I’m wondering if I have any recourse for a restraining or protective order to get her removed from the house. I’m not sure how I’m expected to live with this when I have documented proof that it is an ongoing issue. Anyone have any insight on this? Again, I am the husband and my wife is the alcoholic and abuser.

Toying with with this concept. Since cheating involves lying, and typically also manipulating and gaslighting, do you consider it a form of psychological abuse? To completely alter your partners perception of reality while you go on to live a secret life seems kinda odd to me.

I know we often think of the term “abuse” as something more concrete and something more drastic, but I’m curious to know your options and maybe experiences with this!

Thanks!!!

Just because it's not visible doesn't mean it's not happening.

I don't understand why people are so okay with putting thier cats in clothes when it's obvious they don't like it. Or putting tape on thier paws and other things like that.

We all know cats can get depressed. All animals can. Why is this so normalised? Do people just literally not care how the cat feels "because it's cute and it's not hurting him"?

Am I the fucking weirdo who sees a cat in clothes and can see that it clearly hates it and think it's wrong?

The argument of oh it was just for the one photo I took it off. Like why? Why do it in the first place? You're obviously aware the cat doesn't like it but you do it anyway? Cats aren't like people. They don't understand why the thing is happening all they know is they want it to stop. Why not respect thier boundaries?

Had a terrible experience with physical health in middle school that lasted for 3 terrible and interminable years and that still sometimes give me physical problems. My family is also psychological abusive and in those years the abuse got worse and worse, it was so bad I just remember crying so much at home, crying so much at school and screaming with my parents every time of the day, every morning before going to class and having to say some excuse about the fact that I had no voice anymore. The way my mother treated me still is one of the reason our relationship is now quite broken. Well now I got COVID... And it's a fucking nightmare. Not only I'm terribly sick and everything hurts but it's incredibly worse because I'm experiencing so much emotional pain right now. Maybe this physical pain would be tolerable if my mind didn't always return to those years and how much my family hurt me and how much I hated my body for "failing" me. I'm crying on a daily basis, everytime I wake up and some symptoms appear and they make me feel suicidal. And to add to that, being a minor, I unfortunately still live with my family so the abuse never really stopped, even if it got a little better.

Last night I woke up in so much physical+emotional pain I had to call my parents. I wanted them to help me in some way and I HATE asking them (or anyone really) help so I was feeling quite desperate. I had to scream because they were in other rooms and I couldn't get up because of the high fever, but my parents ignored me for SO long. I felt them talking about trivial things and I know that they have all the rights to do what they want in their time and they can't be always there for me but I was SO angry. When my mother finally arrived in my room, she yelled at me and made me feel such a burden. But the worse moment was the wait: I felt again like that little girl who struggled with no strength on the floor, thinking she was gonna die. No one ever arrived when I was in pain like that. I always had in the end to crawl to my bed on my own and then after some hours my parents would see I was there and would call me lazy for staying in bed all the time, telling me I was faking it and other terrible things I really don't want to write right now.

I have a therapist with whom I was talking about some other traumatic experiences I went through but even if I did want to tell her about this now, I wouldn't be able to because of this fucking virus. That added to the holidays it means tha

So I was in an extremely psychologically abusive relationship for about 2 years and I left about 6-7 months ago I'm still dealing with health issues that arrised from it as well as the ptsd and I've noticed that now that im out I have alot of trouble actually connecting with ppl almost like I close myself off like theres a wall keeping me from having any kind of emotional connection with anyone new in my life. Trying to make new relationships and mend old ones is incredibly difficult because I cant connect with anyone. I know I need therapy but I just dont have the time for it.. any advice helps

My therapist was the one that highlighted that my equation with a "friend" would be considered narcissistic abuse. I have started speaking to people in my life and on online forums about what I experienced and have also been asking them questions about normal and abnormal behavior in relationships to gain their perspective and bring myself clarity. A lot of people have been very understanding, especially those in this community, r/NarcissisticAbuse and r/emotionalabuse. However some people in my life and online have also mentioned that although they think his behaviour was bad it wasn't "abuse". I have also heard things like "it is partly your fault for not running away when you realized there was something wrong with the person" and "there is nothing particularly traumatizing about what you experienced.

Sometimes the things they say are very invalidating and also involve blame towards me. I understand however that people that have been lucky enough to never experience something like this probably won't understand how it affects one's brain and body and what the cycle of abuse and trauma bonds are. That's fine. But their responses do sometimes make me feel like maybe I am imagining and exaggerating things, and that I am to blame. So I wanted to ask, what kinds of reactions do you get from people when you tell them what you have experienced? And how do you deal with it people don't respond in a very compassionate way and say they are "just being honest about their views"?

I’ve shared my story on this sub previously. I am currently in the process of recovering from a narcissistic friendship-situationship that lasted about 18 months. I met him in January 2020, cut him off in October 2020, and blocked him everywhere in July 2021 when he tried to hoover me again. I have now been NC with him for about 5 months and plan on keeping it that way forever.

To give you some context, he basically approached me at work himself and love-bombed the hell out of me. After a month of doing this he told me that he was actually already engaged to someone else and that he had not been trying to make a move but was just trying to get to know me. He said that he felt like we had a connection and that this connection had a spiritual purpose but that he wanted to explore what it was while just being friends. He also admitted to having feelings for me. He kept telling me that he felt “wrong” and “guilty” for having feelings for me while being in a relationship with someone else, that he never wanted to wrong or hurt his fiancée and that he had told me clearly that he was committed to someone because it would be wrong to string me along without telling me the truth. He made himself look like a very honest and principled person by saying all of these things and so believed every word. I thought he really didn’t want to hurt his fiancée or be unfaithful to her. But the thing is that he didn’t tell her about me and he kept communicating with me regularly himself despite feeling “wrong” for having feelings for me. He would also breadcrumb me a lot, would say/do mildly flirtatious things while still maintaining that we were just friends and could only remain friends. He would also keep telling me that although he was marrying her by choice he was confused between two people he “loved” and that it was very hard on him.

All of that is in the past. He is now married to that girl and is not in my life anymore. However, this entire situation has made me feel like I’m unwanted and undesirable. In a way he triangulated me with her (I don’t know if it was intention at that end). After I found out he was committed, I found myself constantly comparing myself to the girl, even though I didn’t know her or anything about her. I’d keep wondering what he liked about her, what had drawn him to her and what their relationship would be like. I’d also wonder why he wouldn’t choose me despite the fact that he claimed to “love” me and kept saying that I was the only person

My parents try to gaslight me into believing everything they do is for my own good and that I should be grateful but I know they are just shitty, they have done these things (the title above) and I’m starting to question if it’s a form of PTSD, I am not sure but I also need therapy but my parents don’t want me to get therapy cause they think I don’t need it, I’m basically stuck as well too.

Christian churches around this time at their "fall festival" (because they'll censor the shit out of this pagan holiday while condemning the censorship of the pagan holiday two months later) celebrations will attempt to counter "worldly" Halloween influences by having their version of a haunted house known as the Hell House.

They'll have a list of things which cause one to get sent to hell. Unsurprisingly, one of the things they'll put on the list is "same sex attraction". Because, yeah, in addition to psychologically traumatizing a 6 year old, let's make certain they'll hate themselves once they're further along in child development stages and suspect they might be queer.

Fuck this religion!!!

And no one has any issue with scaring the shit out of kids to the point of psychological trauma.

I was at a haunted house village the other day and I thought it was pretty weird to see an 8 year old there. As there were some haunted houses that got pretty intense.

Nothing as psychologically damaging, tho, as a haunted house which tells you you'll burn in eternal hellfire for saying swear words.

These hell houses traumatize people well into adulthood.

I reiterate: FUCK. THIS. RELIGION!!!!!!

I am really struggling with explaining the psychological and emotional abuse I endured from my soon to be ex husband who is a covert narcissist. I feel that it went on for so long, and stemmed from issues big and small. I also have some degree of memory/brain fog from all the stress and trauma I was put through.

I really need to be able to discuss the abuse my therapist, (as well as my lawyer as there will be a custody battle with my young child) but I’m never able to articulate what I went through without sounding, silly? I mean I’ve been devalued stonewalled and gaslight for so long that I question everything I think and say. But besides that, I just can’t put it into words.

I find it extra hard because I did demonstrate some reactive abuse to him (which he clings to and is trying to use against me) which is able to be stated so boldly and simply and make me look like the ‘bad guy’.

Does this make sense? Can anyone help guide me at all? Anything at all can help.

Thank you

EDIT: data collection is closed. Thanks to all participants.

Researcher here. I’m working on a project at the U of Amsterdam (in the Netherlands) about psychological abuse, childhood adversity, and traumatic experiences. It’s a topic close to home and is important for exploring why emotional abuse does not meet DSM diagnostic criteria for PTSD when it has been linked to symptoms. If you’re interested in helping bridge this gap in research, me and my team would greatly appreciate it if you could take 20-30min to complete a survey on the topic. We hope this can help uncover some clinically relevant treatment targets for people that have suffered prolonged emotional abuse.

Data is double-masked and completely anonymous per GDPR, and we don't ask for details of adverse experiences. You can enter a raffle (also not linked to any of your survey responses) for a 50euro voucher as a reward. Here's the link - thank you in advance!

Note: a trigger warning on past experiences accompanies these survey questions; do avoid, take a break, or stop the survey if you're experiencing distress. If you experience any negative consequences afterward, please contact a local mental or general health practitioner in your area for advice.

https://uva.fra1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3r4iwyMIxjicJAa

And if you're interested in reading academic studies on the topic feel free to ask!

So I met my now wife three years after I got out of prison. We started dating two days after I got off parole. Moved in three weeks after that, moved from ny to Florida a month after that. I can look back now and see it was all rushed. Tbh I loved her and she loved me. We had known each other since high school but had just reconnected. What followed was a series of arguments that were followed by us making decisions that she wanted. I would fight and say I think this isn’t the best way and she would accuse me of not supporting or believing on her. At one point she had me supervising two different lawn maintenance companies in two different areas of the state that were 3 hrs apart. I was slowly losing my mind leaving every day at 5 am getting home at 10pm and getting yelled at the whole day for being gone and then not being present when home.
When we moved to fl I did not drink. Within 6 months I needed to be hammered to sleep. I was drinking a bottle of vodka every other day. My wife had a tendency to just disappear for the night and the last time she did I told her I was done we need a divorce and I went to sleep. She stayed out drinking all night then at 7 am came and woke up our adult children and ushered them out of the house as if there was danger,(I was still sleeping) and then came back to the house with her father her brother and the police in tow. Her father and brother were unnecessary but the police was a pure power play of evil by her. I’m a twice convicted ex con. Burglary second which is violent from my teen years when I was on oxy. Doesn’t matter how long I’ve been out because as my wife knows Florida cops did not like my felon yankee ass being there. She openly admitted to me after she knew she was never in danger and called them to show me she could do as she pleases. The police made me leave. They wouldn’t come on my property but instead told me from the public road I needed to leave my house. So I did. As reality set in I called my mom and dad and my sis who all live out of fl. They had plane tickets booked for me that day. I knew my wife and I had problems, but they were so easily justified until that moment. It sucks it took her literally gambling with my freedom but I’m glad. We have a house and business etc together but honestly I’m ready to just call it a wash. This woman had me so consumed in every bit of drama she created I just can’t face it. She had since hacked every account I have, changed billing info etc, anything to make

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Your coin will be pump and dumps to some people.

Meme & other hype coins will steal the spotlight

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does anyone else feel the need to clarify when talking about you situation that a scenario was emotional abuse as opposed to just abuse? i always feel guilty when i just say abuse because then i assume they assume i’m talking about physical abuse which my brain tells me is worse than what i went through so by not specifying the abuse was mostly emotional/psychological i feel like i’m trying to make them pity me

I saw at my parent's house one of the books in their collection was called "Bringing up Boys" by James Dobson. Now, James Dobson was (or still is?) the head of Focus on the Family. A virulently anti-LGBTQ+ organization that has been designated as a hate group by the SPLC. I perused through the book and, sure enough, there was a chapter about "preventing homosexuality". Which......bruh. Sexual orientation is not a matter of choice. There is nothing a parent can do about it. I have made friends with a dude recently who has told me their parents made them attend Christian "therapy" for conversion purposes in their early teenage years. Spoiler alert: it didn't fucking work. He still identifies as queer and he has a lot of issues with being comfortable with himself. What a horrifyingly abusive practice that should be banned immediately. Shit like that is endorsed in these parenting books. So is expressing "tough love" which is basically carte blanche for fundigelical parents to engage emotional abuse. There is very much a middle ground between emotional abuse and enabling problematic behavior. You know what finding that middle ground is called? Parenting! I don't think I even scratched the surface of the psychologically damaging shit is in these Christian parenting books.

What other stuff is in there that I missed?

In my experience talking to religious people, one common theme has always been brought up, which is the fact that one hundred percent of them have emotional codependency to a higher being. In my opinion, every type of emotional dependency comes from one’s belief that they are worthless without another. Does that sound familiar? If you have ever attended a Christian church, it probably does to you. It’s very common for religious leaders, at least in my experience with Christianity, to tell followers that they are nothing without God. Those same leaders also encourage their followers to rely on God for assistance and guidance whenever they face a personal issue in their lives. Now, can you imagine the damage done to a young brain who listens to these things weekly, sometimes daily? Most times, religious people aren’t religious because they truly believe their respective doctrines, but because they simply can’t let go of God. They grew up learning that their worth is only defined by this guy, who also happens to be omnipresent and omnipotent and who can help them with solutions to their problems. The idea of God not existing would leave a huge gap in their lives. It’s very unfair that churches are allowed to mess with somebody's head to the point the person starts believing an imaginary being just for comfort. That kind of thing should be considered emotional manipulation and abuse, but just because it’s "religion" they get away with it. I just want to live in a world where the possibility of the existence of a God doesn’t rule people’s lives and the way they view serious issues that need immediate addressing. We need to stop pretending that this whole indoctrination isn’t abuse, because it is.

I have a physical disability, and I can’t do anything to run away from my «home». I’ve started to think about contacting social services, and maybe they could help me. I feel so sorry for my mom, and this is a decision that makes me feel so ungrateful… but I can’t be alone with an abuser who made me believe that I ruined her life and it would be better if I weren’t born… all I crave is to be free. And now it feels like I betray her :(

I’m scared she will lose her shit and start hitting me once she finds out. Should I tell them that I want to be anonymous or what? Because I don’t want to be alone with her when she finds out that I reached out for help…

When I was around 12 years old my mom found an innocent underwear ad that I had cut out of a magazine and put in my desk. When I got home one day she had taped it on my door and then she yelled at me “what?! You like her or something?!”

For years I had thought nothing of this, but now I’m 30 and realize how sick it was that my mom was shaming me for experiencing such a natural part of life. And I feel like this kind of behavior from her has definitely contributed to my fear of intimacy with women. Any thoughts?

I feel like I've learned a lot about emotional and psychological abuse and manipulation tactics, and I feel like I've become proficient at identifying those behaviors and protecting myself from them.

But I feel like I don't respond well when I encounter healthy people and prosocial behaviors. It's like I freeze and don't know what to do.

I want to rebuild a social life, and I believe that having fulfilling social interactions will be critical for recovering from my developmental trauma. I want to start interacting more, but it feels weird to be treated well, and I'm afraid that I will keep distancing myself from these healthy people if I don't learn how to respond well to their empathy and kindness.

Arab female here. I am just curious because this is what seems to be the case for me. To be honest I wasn’t raised in a healthy environment through my childhood years. I don’t even know who to blame, my parents discipline methods ? Or should I blame myself for being a bad annoying child ? When I was a kid, my parents always used to remind me about how karma will get me one day and that I will have children that will make my life a living hell. I love babysitting people’s children and taking care of them, but the idea of having my own children repulses me. Bringing a child into this life for me means that I would have to put my life on hold and endure a couple of years listening to their screams and tantrums. The thought of it does not entertain me at all. I don’t even know what’s so exciting about having a child? Can anyone relate ?

I can't believe I've been in trauma therapy with a top therapist but, until recently, haven't realized that addiction, childhood abuse, etc., doesn't excuse someone being abusive. I mean I knew this, but why wasn't this said to me? Idk. My father is severely abusive, but is no longer in my life. I went home for Thanksgiving for the first time in 3 years -- the last time I was there was the night I had him arrested (and my mom finally agreed to divorce him). It was so triggering, and all this following a break-up with someone I thought was a good person who, at the end, told me that I'm a spoiled brat for my trauma because he didn't think it was that bad.

It leaves me so confused. I know, when people look at my mother's home they think, 'What a lovely house.' But, my father was a psychological abuser who has done such damage. And, when I was home I found out so much more...he would wait until everyone was gone and go put our pets to sleep at the vet without telling us; he routinely took furniture from the house and burned it on our property; everything in our house is now new, because there was nothing left -- he burned it all; he killed a cat and left it outside of my mom's room; he once cut every tree and plant in the house in half; he purposefully flooded the bathroom once when my mom was away; he would go outside and do things like remove all the decorative rocks from the huge flowerbeds in front of our house; he called my therapist in college and tried to convince her to drop me as a client; he pissed on the floors of the house before he left following the end of the divorce...he's a monster and these are the memories I have to face when I go home, to a place I should feel safe.

I am currently in the process of recovering from a narcissistic friendship-situationship that lasted about 18 months. I met him in January 2020, cut him off in October 2020, and blocked him everywhere in July 2021 when he tried to hoover me again. I have now been NC with him for about 5 months and plan on keeping it that way forever.

To give you some context, he basically approached me at work himself and love-bombed the hell out of me. After a month of doing this he told me that he was actually already engaged to someone else and that he had not been trying to make a move but was just trying to get to know me. He said that he felt like we had a connection and that this connection had a spiritual purpose but that he wanted to explore what it was while just being friends. He also admitted to having feelings for me. He kept telling me that he felt “wrong” and “guilty” for having feelings for me while being in a relationship with someone else, that he never wanted to wrong or hurt his fiancée and that he had told me clearly that he was committed to someone because it would be wrong to string me along without telling me the truth. He made himself look like a very honest and principled person by saying all of these things and so believed every word. I thought he really didn’t want to hurt his fiancée or be unfaithful to her. But the thing is that he didn’t tell her about me and he kept communicating with me regularly himself despite feeling “wrong” for having feelings for me. He would also breadcrumb me a lot, would say/do mildly flirtatious things while still maintaining that we were just friends and could only remain friends. He would also keep telling me that although he was marrying her by choice he was confused between two people he “loved” and that it was very hard on him.

All of that is in the past. He is now married to that girl and is not in my life anymore. However, this entire situation has made me feel like I’m unwanted and undesirable. In a way he triangulated me with her (I don’t know if it was intention at that end). After I found out he was committed, I found myself constantly comparing myself to the girl, even though I didn’t know her or anything about her. I’d keep wondering what he liked about her, what had drawn him to her and what their relationship would be like. I’d also wonder why he wouldn’t choose me despite the fact that he claimed to “love” me and kept saying that I was the only person that understood him and that made him feel s

EDIT: data collection is closed. Thanks to all participants.

Researcher here. I’m working on a project at the U of Amsterdam (in the Netherlands) about psychological abuse, childhood adversity, and traumatic experiences. It’s a topic close to home and is important for exploring why emotional abuse does not meet DSM diagnostic criteria for PTSD when it has been linked to greater PTSD symptoms. If you’re interested in helping bridge this gap in research, me and my team would greatly appreciate it if you could take 20-30min to complete a survey on the topic. We hope this can help uncover some clinically relevant treatment targets for people that have suffered prolonged emotional abuse.

Data is double-masked and completely anonymous per GDPR, and we don't ask for details of adverse experiences. You can enter a raffle (also not linked to any of your survey responses) for a 50euro voucher as a reward. Here's the survey link below - thank you in advance!

Note: a trigger warning on past experiences accompanies these survey questions; do avoid, take a break, or stop the survey if you're experiencing distress. If you experience any negative consequences afterward, please contact a local mental or general health practitioner in your area for advice.

https://uva.fra1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3r4iwyMIxjicJAa

And if you're interested in reading academic studies on the topic feel free to ask!

I am really struggling with explaining the psychological and emotional abuse I endured from my soon to be ex husband who is a covert narcissist. I feel that it went on for so long, and stemmed from issues big and small. I also have some degree of memory/brain fog from all the stress and trauma I was put through.

I really need to be able to discuss the abuse my therapist, (as well as my lawyer as there will be a custody battle with my young child) but I’m never able to articulate what I went through without sounding, silly? I mean I’ve been devalued stonewalled and gaslight for so long that I question everything I think and say. But besides that, I just can’t put it into words.

I find it extra hard because I did demonstrate some reactive abuse to him (which he clings to and is trying to use against me) which is able to be stated so boldly and simply and make me look like the ‘bad guy’.

Does this make sense? Can anyone help guide me at all? Anything at all can help.

Thank you

I’ve shared my story on this sub previously. I am currently in the process of recovering from a narcissistic friendship-situationship that lasted about 18 months. I met him in January 2020, cut him off in October 2020, and blocked him everywhere in July 2021 when he tried to hoover me again. I have now been NC with him for about 5 months and plan on keeping it that way forever.

To give you some context, he basically approached me at work himself and love-bombed the hell out of me. After a month of doing this he told me that he was actually already engaged to someone else and that he had not been trying to make a move but was just trying to get to know me. He said that he felt like we had a connection and that this connection had a spiritual purpose but that he wanted to explore what it was while just being friends. He also admitted to having feelings for me. He kept telling me that he felt “wrong” and “guilty” for having feelings for me while being in a relationship with someone else, that he never wanted to wrong or hurt his fiancée and that he had told me clearly that he was committed to someone because it would be wrong to string me along without telling me the truth. He made himself look like a very honest and principled person by saying all of these things and so believed every word. I thought he really didn’t want to hurt his fiancée or be unfaithful to her. But the thing is that he didn’t tell her about me and he kept communicating with me regularly himself despite feeling “wrong” for having feelings for me. He would also breadcrumb me a lot, would say/do mildly flirtatious things while still maintaining that we were just friends and could only remain friends. He would also keep telling me that although he was marrying her by choice he was confused between two people he “loved” and that it was very hard on him.

All of that is in the past. He is now married to that girl and is not in my life anymore. However, this entire situation has made me feel like I’m unwanted and undesirable. In a way he triangulated me with her (I don’t know if it was intention at that end). After I found out he was committed, I found myself constantly comparing myself to the girl, even though I didn’t know her or anything about her. I’d keep wondering what he liked about her, what had drawn him to her and what their relationship would be like. I’d also wonder why he wouldn’t choose me despite the fact that he claimed to “love” me and kept saying that I was the only person