I used to work as a programmer for autocorrect....
Then they fried me for no raisin.
What do NASA programmers do on the weekends?
If a programmer could rearrange the alphabet, they'd put U and I together.
User Interface is important to them.
What do the programmers do when they pay respect?
What does a programmer's ghost say?
A programmer's wife tells him: "While you're at the store, get some milk".
Why did the programmer quit his job?
because he didn't get arrays.
What was the SNES programmers' favorite drink?
Why did the programmer leave his job ?
Because he couldn’t hack it.
What do programmers do when they're hungry?
Why does programmers have perfect vision?
Why couldn't the programmer dance to the song?
Because he didn't get the... algo-rhythm...
How does the computer programmer order all her books?
By the Dewey Hexadecimal System!
Children with only a mother make horrible programmers
Theres always missing paren
Why do programmers like dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs
How does a programmer get cooler in the summer?
A programmer gets sent to the store by his wife. His wife says, “Get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The programmer returns home with 12 gallons of milk and says, “They had eggs.”
edit: I know guys, I know, it’s supposed to be 13, I messed up the wording, please forgive me
As a programmer, waking up is the 0th thing I do every morning
What you call it when computer programmers make fun of each other?
Programmers hate roman numerals.
But I can't zero in on why
I am now a succesful programmer
But back in the days I was a noobgrammer
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25
For non-programmers: (octal 31 = decimal 25)
Why did the programmer get a huge telephone bill?
Because his program was CALLING a lot of subroutines.
Which way did the programmer go?
What do spanish programmers code in?
Scientists and programmers have gotten together to write computer code that will not only warn of future global warming but also take credit for inventing the internet.
It's an new Al-Gore-rithm
What do programmers dance to?
What do programmers and exterminators have in common?
They both spend most of their time fighting bugs.
Why did the C++ programmer do so well at his new job as a packaging and design engineer?
Because he was very good at orienting objects.
(Okay this is a really technical dad joke, but isn't that what they're supposed to be?)
Why do programmers wear glasses?
Why was the programmer always running into walls?
People "without genders" are usually bad programmers...
Harry Potter was a programmer
There’s like 2 people here who get this, but I put my faith in programmers
As a computer programmer, I love goose-feather pillows...
Because they are down-loaded!
Why do Programmers make good politicians?
Their goto is to switch statements.
How did the Programmer lose weight?
Hey switched to a byte sized diet.
Why do programmers only go outside during the winter?
Because it's code outside.
Did you hear about the computer programmer who was strung out on cough syrup?
He had a major codeine problem.
My friend quit his job as a programmer...
Programmers hate roman numerals.
But I can't zero in on why?
Which way did the programmer go?
What do spanish programmers code in?
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
