This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
Why did the aspiring programmer buy a pair of glasses?
Spiders are excellent programmers,
They're just so great at debugging
Why are programmers so good at dancing?
They have great algorithm.
Which way did the programmer go?
My programmer husband insists he has to be the one to change the channel
He has a lot experience working remote
I used to work as a programmer for autocorrect....
Then they fried me for no raisin.
Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs.
Old programmers never die
They just don't C as well.
What do NASA programmers do on the weekends?
If a programmer could rearrange the alphabet, they'd put U and I together.
User Interface is important to them.
A programmer gets sent to the store by his wife. His wife says, “Get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The programmer returns home with 12 gallons of milk and says, “They had eggs.”
edit: I know guys, I know, it’s supposed to be 13, I messed up the wording, please forgive me
Said by a sick computer programmer
"I'm just coughing and hacking."
What does a programmer's ghost say?
A programmer's wife tells him: "While you're at the store, get some milk".
Why did the programmer quit his job?
because he didn't get arrays.
As a programmer, waking up is the 0th thing I do every morning
Why does programmers have perfect vision?
Why did the programmer leave his job ?
Because he couldn’t hack it.
Why couldn't the programmer dance to the song?
Because he didn't get the... algo-rhythm...
What do programmers do when they're hungry?
What was the SNES programmers' favorite drink?
Children with only a mother make horrible programmers
Theres always missing paren
How does the computer programmer order all her books?
By the Dewey Hexadecimal System!
How does a programmer get cooler in the summer?
What you call it when computer programmers make fun of each other?
Programmers hate roman numerals.
But I can't zero in on why
What do spanish programmers code in?
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25
For non-programmers: (octal 31 = decimal 25)
I am now a succesful programmer
But back in the days I was a noobgrammer
Why did the programmer get a huge telephone bill?
Because his program was CALLING a lot of subroutines.
Why do programmers wear glasses?
Scientists and programmers have gotten together to write computer code that will not only warn of future global warming but also take credit for inventing the internet.
It's an new Al-Gore-rithm
What do programmers and exterminators have in common?
They both spend most of their time fighting bugs.
Why did the C++ programmer do so well at his new job as a packaging and design engineer?
Because he was very good at orienting objects.
(Okay this is a really technical dad joke, but isn't that what they're supposed to be?)
Why was the programmer always running into walls?
What do programmers dance to?
There’s like 2 people here who get this, but I put my faith in programmers
Harry Potter was a programmer
People "without genders" are usually bad programmers...
Why do programmers like dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs
My friend quit his job as a programmer...
Programmers hate roman numerals.
But I can't zero in on why?
Which way did the programmer go?
What do spanish programmers code in?
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