It said: Happy Hollandaise!
I didn’t mean to. But apparently egg season ended yesterday and my hunting license expired. Who knew.
To the re-pear shop.
Credit goes to my friend who is a dad, and thought this was original.
You walk up slowly.
It makes the meat stringy and tasteless. Roasting at a medium heat for 40 minutes per pound yields a much better result.
Food truck with eggs being the theme in every dish.
"The Poach Coach"
Popular dishes:
- Eggs Been a Dick (2 poached eggs and 1 average but adequate size sausage)
- Omelette that one slide (you're choice of filling, but don't fucking test me)
- The Dwight Yolk Em' (served in a plastic cowboy hat to go. Must eat while walking the streets of Bakersfield) 4.The Mr. Burns Eggcellent Scramble (smithered with cheese)
- The Quiche a Grey (oralgasmic quiche with a money shot of sausage gravy)
- The John Denver Omelette (full of all kinds of shit)
- Jesus'ed egg (basically a deviled egg only more judgmental and boiled in holy water)
You tell it a funny yolk.
I hear it really cracks them up.
Alright, alright omelet you get on with your day
Be sure to watch out for egg poachers
If so, can you please stop poaching my staff?
Morning, Apple Pie and Coffee. Noon, Apple Pie and Coffee. Night, Apple Pie and Coffee. Getting tired of this same meal, he asks his coworkers to teach him a new dish to order. He learns Steak and Eggs.
Waitress: Hiya hon’, Apple Pie and Coffee as usual?
Man (smiling proudly): Steak and Eggs!
Waitress: Oh! Changing it up to day! How would you like your eggs? Scrambled, sunny side up, poached, fried? How would you like your steak? Rare, medium rare, medium, medium well, well? . . . . . .
Man: ... Apple Pie and Coffee.
I guess he likes his eggs poached.
Anything but poached!
These are not poached eggs, she says.
I prefer mine poached
My parents are in town for a visit. Keep in mind that I have a 3 year old, so the dad jokes have doubled around here lately.
We go eat and I'm sharing a big burger with my wife. It has a fried egg on it, which I don't like, so I gave her the half with the yolk in it. She bit into it and the yolk broke and dribbled all over her hand. Before I could say anything, my dad mumbles, "Looks like the yolk's on you".
I said, " NOOOOOOOOO you beat me to it!" as my wife and my mom rolled their eyes and groaned. I'm pretty good at the dad jokes, but my dad has the grandfather buff or something.
...Eggstensions
Chicken
(Credit to my future father in law for this gem)
So I was on the red-eye flying overseas to meet my buddies for an epic roadtrip adventure. I got me a first class ticket because YOLO and I always wanted to try those convertible seat/beds.
So in the morning the flight attendants serve breakfast, which includes this tasty soup with poached egg in it. They offered drinks and they had champagne so I thought why the hell not.
There were delays and when we finally landed and I got to our meet up place, my mates were already there and gotten the bong out.
They said, "Where were you while we were getting high?"
"I was having..." and I turned to them, took my sunglasses off, and said, "champagne, soup and ova in the sky."
Everyone was commenting on how good the poached eggs were, and with a dead straight face I say:
"Yeah, poached eggs used to be so popular until they nearly went extinct... Thank god for scrambled."
Dad jokes always break the ice.
Me: I really want to learn how to poach eggs.
Hubby: isn't that illegal?
Ha. Ha.
My friend made poached eggs for breakfast.
Me: you know how to poach eggs?
Him: Yes, I illegally hunt them in the African plains.
