This pun is just plumb silly.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2017
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I have two college friends who studied ancient Egyptian plumbing.

They were pharaoh faucet majors.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonHeinie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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What do you call someone who studies ancient Egyptian plumbing?

A Pharaoh Faucet Major.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berryville_con
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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Later in Forrest Gump’s life, he puts on a little weight and opens a business collecting old plumbing materials.

It was called the Plump Gump Sump Pump Dump.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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I know all there is to know about plumbing...

Crap runs downhill, paycheck comes on Friday, and don’t bite your fingernails.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mttbr9
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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At one time, I had a strongly desired goal of owning a plumbing supply company...

I guess it was just a pipe dream.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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I went to the hardware store and told the cashier I had to replace the plumbing for my sink. "Water pipes?" She asked.

I replied, "The round tubes that liquid flows through."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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My mom called me saying there were a couple of guys outside her home saying they have a plumbing fixture to drop off.

β€œThey’re not trying to rob me?” she asked.

β€œNo, it’s a gift from Uncle Bill to make up for all the mean things he did to you in the past.” I replied.

β€œWait, after all these years, he’s actually trying to be nice to somebody? That’s an unexpected transformation! Our relationship might well change if I agree to take it!”

β€œYeah! Let that sink in.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buttery_Hamwater
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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Wooden plumbing issues

I should have known better than to flush my wooden shoes down the toilet.

Now it's clogged. :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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Plumbing

So after high school I wanted to do something interesting, so after a while of thinking I went into plumbing, I've learned about so many sinks and tubes used in sinks, I never thought plumbing could be so faucinating

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImDrivinShotgun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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My son can fix all your plumbing, bring your electrical up to code and handle any framing or carpentry you could imagine

His name is Jack

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emeri5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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Plumbing was a great solution to a shitty situation
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carlosrehu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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Dutch engineers are known for their windmills, ovens, and rudders, but not their plumbing...

...because everyone has clogs.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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Hehehe
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GTS_jduartemiller
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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What I learned in plumbing class today

applies equally to other faucets of the trade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deblunked
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
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Kickball team name for plumbing company?

I'm usually on the ball with puns (yes, intended) but I'm drawing a blank here. Need your help pretty please!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/raezin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2017
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1. Blue plastic bucket for watering, car-washing, etc. 2. Red plastic bucket for mopping floors, cleanup from painting, plumbing disasters. 3. Green metal pail for compostable table scraps.

...and that's my Bucket List.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
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What does a door framer pack in his lunch?

Ajar with plumb jamb!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Plumbing problems, dad joking the wife

We have recently been having problems with the plumbing, water draining very slowly etc. We tried different chemicals on different days to try and fix it before biting the bullet and getting someone clear them for us.

First day I started out with HCl and told my wife I was "going off to drop some acid." She groaned.

A few days later we switched to NaOH and I brushed my hair to the side and asked my wife if she liked my Skrillex impersonation. She told me it wasn't a very good impersonation. I said "hold your judgment for when I drop the base.".... She threatened me with a knife and told me to get out while laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kactusotp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2014
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My daughter asked me if I can make her a bath

I’ve never built a bath before, can someone help me with plumbing it in?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cozzo123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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Afraid of heights

Plumbers are afraid of heights because they fear plunging to their death.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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Grandma said she wished me well

I said, I have indoor plumbing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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I'll just let this sink in.

http://imgur.com/t0iHkD0

Edit: I got gold for making someone groan. Thank you so much, I'm now much more motivated to impregnate a woman so I can unleash my terrible jokes on the fruit of my loins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whenn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2015
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A couple of puns I made up for my dad

Me: Why is Eurovision going to look so good on TV this year?

Dad: Why?

Me: Because it’s 2020


Me: Plumbing is like the digestive system of a house, and turning on the taps is like it going pee.

Dad: Okay?

Me: Let that sink in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-Am-the-Cold
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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Why do people like movies about Submarines?

Because they have depth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corporatevakeel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2017
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As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush (good horror movie titles, btw)...

It's plumb crazy, but I have pipe dreams!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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What do you call a plumber in a classic rock band?

Mario Speedwagon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aardwolf7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2017
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A plumber couldn't get two pipes to fit together...

So he checked the plumbing thread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scisssors
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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Dealing with some shit

I live on a sail boat and started what I thought would be a small project. I wanted to ensure that my toilet plumbing was working correctly before having a guest over so I turned on my macerator and began pumping clear water through the system to clean the toilet and clear the system completely. For those that don’t know, a macerator is basically a garbage disposal like you would have in your kitchen sink buttttt for your poop. It cuts up your poop and toilet paper so that it can be discarded over board in smaller pieces. Of course the pump wasn’t working correctly so I detached some plumbing, looked into the macerator motor and got way more into it than I had planned for. My guest was on her way and I didn’t want to necessarily tell her what I was dealing with because I didn’t want to gross her out. When she showed up I was just putting stuff away and had finished the project. Of course she asked what I was working on, I proclaim β€œ oh I just needed to deal with some shit” and left it at that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lzrdkng421
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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The difference between...

What is the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

One goes "Smack....dang it" and the other goes "Dang it...smack!"

Also what is the difference between a plumbing supply company and a U boat

One ships sinks and the other sinks ships

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neostead2000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2013
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Dad joked by a stranger on the phone.

I work for a large home improvement store in the plumbing department. Every now and then we get phone calls in asking general plumbing questions. This is how my conversation went the other day.

"Hi, thanks for calling [store name]. This is plumbing"

To which I got

"Hi, plumbing. This is Ron"

ugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buttnugget_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2014
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