What did the man say to the judge after running over chickens at a playground?
βIn my defense, Your Honor, there were no signs of fowl playβ
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 08 2020
The vote for better slides on school playgrounds is on the ballot this year.
Unfortunately, I live in a swing state.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
I thought going to a playground for a date was a good idea...
Turns out it was a swing and a miss.
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︎ Sep 10 2020
What did the cook say after making stir fry at a playground?
"It was a wok in the park."
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 14 2020
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the sand bok bok boks
π︎ 11
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︎ Aug 11 2020
Do you know what is used to provide vision at night at school playgrounds?
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︎ Jul 18 2020
What do you say when you see / had seen a pirate version of saw holding a frozen buzzsaw on a piece of playground equipment?
I see/saw sea saw on a seesaw, with an icy saw
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 30 2020
My eggs went to the playground without my permission today.
π︎ 25
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︎ Apr 25 2020
Prisoner tunnels out of jail and emerges in a school playground shouting βIβm freeβ!
Little girl walks up and shouts βIβm four!β
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 28 2020
Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).
The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldnβt bother question 8Dβs children about what they saw, since theyβre too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9Dβs kids will remember.
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︎ Sep 04 2019
My toddler was about to hit his head on a bar at the playground, so I told him to duck.
He quacked at me then hit his head on the bar.
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 23 2019
Why did the four-legged semiaquatic carnivorous mammal cross the playground?
To get to the otter slide.
π︎ 8
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︎ May 30 2019
I was supposed to build a playground for my little brother, but I accidentally broke it.
My dad said he'll let this slide for now.
π︎ 11
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︎ Jun 27 2019
Theyβre building a park down the street from me thatβs supposed to be done soon but they donβt have any playground equipment, trees, nothing.
They have a lot on their hands.
π︎ 5
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︎ May 20 2019
Two kids were on the playground, about to get in a fight. One drew a line in the sand and told the other, βIf you cross this line, Iβll punch you in the face.β
π︎ 17
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︎ Feb 16 2019
What do you call an adult man playing on a playground in his suit?
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 20 2018
What kind of witches like playgrounds?
π︎ 7
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︎ Nov 01 2018
I got in a fight at the park with a guy who was hogging the playground equipment.
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 25 2018
Spiders are a playground for dads
My dad and I were on a hike when I knocked down part of a spiderweb.
My dad: Uh oh, you just knocked out their entertainment room!
Me: what kind of cable do they have?
My dad: they don't have cable, they just stream it from the web
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 29 2017
What game do accountants play on the playground when they were kids?
Deduct, deduct, degooset.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 26 2017
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 90
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
Why did the child cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 17 2020
Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Nov 06 2019
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 04 2020
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 16 2020
Why did the little kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 25 2019
Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 04 2019
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 10 2019
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 16 2019
Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 14 2019
Why did the hedghog cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 09 2019
Why did the human child cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 28 2019
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 16 2019
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 05 2019
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 91
π
︎ Aug 04 2017
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 26 2018
Why did the boy cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 28 2018
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 26 2018
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 03 2018
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 04 2018
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 10 2017
Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 20 2015
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