When quarantine messes up your plans...
Wasn't really planning on laughing today, til I saw this!! xD
Your grandparents are planning their funeral arrangements in advance. Grandma wants to be transported in a horse and carriage grandpa wants a Ferrari.
Setting up to be a real race to the finish but I think Grandpa is winning this one.
My friend has the perfect plan, he says we can travel to the sun...
We just have to go at night
Apparently, the producers of The Flintstones were planning to make one final episode where Fred’s brother marries Barney’s brother.
It was cancelled because it was the 60s and Americans weren’t yet ready to have a gay old time.
A friend of mine planned to use balloons to propose to his internet girlfriend, but then they finally met face to face.
He immediately popped the question.
I'm planning to open my own healthy food and supplements store.
I’m planning a paint themed party for my friend, any paint/art themed puns I can use for the invitations?
Did I tell you guys about the side-hustle plan I came up with? I’m going to do personal training for the band that recorded ‘Lola’ and ‘You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...
I just have to work out a few Kinks.
Hey what are your plans for Valentine's day? -Us singles be like :
My local Waffle House has a new insurance plan.
They're now covered and smothered.
I'm planning to implement a new weight-loss method that will require people to wear winter gloves making it harder for them to eat.
I will call it "Inter-mitten fasting".
I’m planning a trip to the Farsi-speaking part of Ontario
I’ve always wanted to visit the Persian Guelph
Space X is planning to send a bunch of cattle into orbit.
It will be the herd shot 'round the world.
What do you call second thoughts about plans to visit a Native American sanctuary?
A reservation reservation reservation
I don't plan to put up solar panels...
But, if you do, more power to you.
Do you know how Thanos came up with his horrible plans?
I recently bought my only Daughter a locket with her picture inside, for her 18th birthday.
.. just so glad She's now finally independent.
The only thing I have planned for today is to get my new glasses.
Then I'll see what happens.
What's the president's backup plan in case the USA gets invaded?
PA + PN + LA + LN
Oh no, my (P + L)(A + N) has been FOILed!
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
I have a plan to live on two bucks for the whole next year.
Step 1: get a hunting license.
I heard someone was planning a murder
I was worried until I found out he was a Crow
People keep saying Trump had planned a coup but...
I considered him more of a sedan-guy with a chauffeur.
My doctor was trying to describe the treatment plan for my frostbite.
I couldn't picture it, so she showed me a faux toe.
Polkageist: Its all going "accordion" to my plan!
I bought a massive Christmas tree at the weekend. The guy in the store asked "Are you planning on putting it up yourself?"
I said "Nah, I'll probably just put it up in the living room"
My wife couldn’t believe I took my old high school bully out tonight.
I finally came up with a plan to get rid of the ice on my driveway
I have it all thawed out.
Why don’t librarians date coworkers?
Any time they try making plans they’re already booked.
How do you plan a party in space?
You planet
Courtesy of my 12 year old daughter. So proud!!
Why did the couple cancel their dinner plans at the local Indian restaurant?
They agreed it was a naan-starter
Every morning I plan on making pancakes.
I tried to plan a tour of the worlds oldest library
Unfortunately it was fully booked
I wasn't originally planning on getting a brain transplant
But then I changed my mind
I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist.
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.
I've been planning meals in advance a lot lately..
..and it has given me food forethought.
I told my dad that I was planning to move to the Arctic circle for a few months.
He said, “I don’t like your latitude.”
I couldn't stop laughing when I heard what they're going to call Biden's healthcare plan.
I have a plan for a new side-hustle. I’m gonna do personal training for members of the band that recorded ‘Lola’ and ‘You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...
I just have to work out a few Kinks.
I don't plan to put up solar panels.
But if you do, more power to you.
The only thing I have planned for today is to get my new glasses
Then I’ll see what happens
I wasn't originally planning to get a brain transplant
But then I changed my mind
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