City Plan Puns

They're leaving on the red-eye flight

He was finally doing the reading for his history class. "Did you know that Bin Laden was planning to blow up monuments in other American cities?"

"I bet St. Louis was next on his list," I nodded.

"How'd you know that, Dad?" he asked in surprise.

"Well, he was our arch-enemy."

Some cities plan to fight mosquitoes by releasing swarms of sterile male mosquitoes, which don't bite, and can reduce future generations of mosquitoes. That's a good idea and I hope it works well.

The governor of Kentucky plans to fight crime by having prayer groups go to high-crime neighborhoods to pray there.

Those two ideas give me an idea for fighting crime even better: Release swarms of praying mantises.

Back story: I'm at a shop getting my car put on a dyno. A dyno measures the power output. I didn't tell my girlfriend but she knew I was planning on getting it done soon.

Me: I'm in neighboring city

GF: what are you doing there?

Me: car stuff

GF: are you getting a stegosaurus

Me: what...?

GF: I thought you were getting a dino!

Me: ohmygod.

Friend and I were making plans and we live in a city that's -30 C right now.

Him: can you make it warmer?

Me: bring a space heater

Him: I don't care about space! I need an earth heater!