They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
After Orville and Wilbur’s first horrific and fatal plane-accident leaving their remains scattered on the tarmac, the chief medical examiner approaching what was left of them simply asked:
I had an incident while selling dictionaries
I won't give you all the details, but let's just say some words were exchanged.
Today, on the news, there was an incident in my town where a city bus lost control and landed on top of a house. No one was killed and the city is paying all passengers.
I guess you can say the bus ride was on the house.
Some terrorists wanted to film a documentary about plane hijackings
They are currently shooting the pilot
We're all steakholders in these incidents. Corporations need to beef up security or these costs will go over the moon. Criminals can't get used to CEOs chickening out and paying.
theguardian.com/food/2021…
I ran through the airport to catch my plane. Security told me I had to slow down.
I exceeded terminal velocity.
A Spanish person was on a plane.
I tried to carry my oversized board game onto the plane, but I wasn’t allowed.
They said the Risk was too big.
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
What a breadful incident! Seriously dough, I hope they get batter soon.
'My wife is on a plane to Illinois.'
'Chicago?'
'Nah, she passenger.'
Guy tries to board a plane with a dead racoon. The flight attendant says, "sir, you're going to have to check that"
"Don't worry," he replies, "It's carrion."
If your pet dies while you are transporting them on a plane, do they become Carrion Carry-on?
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
What do you call a plane full of tired pilots?
Never ever get on a plane if the pilot is Dutch...
He'll take off and Netherland.
Who flies a fast plane and robs ships?
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
The FAA has issued new guidelines on speed for airplanes to dock and passengers to board the plane.
The speeds for both are now known as "terminal velocity".
I've spent all morning trying to think of a quality pun, just to come up with THIS otter rubbish.
My Son Ate a Bunch of Scrabble Tiles. My Wife is Scared but I'm not...
He should have a good vowel movement. His next diaper change could spell disaster though.
Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $3.00
Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:
Riceless
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"
Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?
I can't remember the name but it's riveting.
Today on a walk my son was asking about a bunch of plants and stuff, he pointed to one and I said it was a fungi.
Without missing a beat he asks "Daddy, do you know how much room you need to grow Fungi like that?"
I did not know.
So he tells me "as Mushroom as possible!"
So proud.
So this plane takes off, am I right??
...I guess not every joke lands
My wife told me to pick up 8 cans of soda on my way home from work
She was pretty mad when I only picked seven up
A 2-seater plane crashed into a graveyard in Ireland...
So far they've recovered 46 bodies
Grandma is always saying to me ' Hey what's the name of that German guy again who keeps taking my stuff '
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
Always part of a classical dish
Two elephants and a snake fall out of a plane...
What do cannibals serve at the beginning of dinner party?
SpongeBob may be the main character of the show.
A conversation I had on a dating app. For context, her instagram is mainly pictures of chairs and her name rhymes with chair.
Isn't it an interesting co-incidence that the second day of the work week…
…is called Two's day? That's the only day of the week for which that works.
I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.
What kind of tree comes from your mouth?
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
I'm not sure when my plane will get here
It's pretty up in the air right now
The one and only acceptable way of advertising
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...
I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...
Scientist have actually discovered a feline-like life-form on Mars! But unfortunately, one of their rovers ran over it, and
Curiosity killed the cat :(
I’m sorry aboot these. Please don’t kick me out of this sub or shoe me away....
I wasn’t allowed to take my oversized board game on the plane as a carryon.
They said, ‘The Risk is too large”.
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