Plain little pun

Why did the guy with gluten allergy skip leg day?

'Cause he couldn't train his glutes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VectorV96
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Two cowboys walking through the plains, no food or water, death imminent. When through hazy vision one of them spies a tree, covered in bacon by an oasis of pure clean. One cowboy hide behind a rock, as his confused friend runs to the tree... only to be gunned down by some bandits.

The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.

It was a ham bush

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MafiaCub
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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I like large animals, but hippos are just plain fat

Some people may consider this hippo-critical

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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Plain pizzas are the best

They simply can’t be topped

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majin_Buu22
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Just plain old frost bite ❄️
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πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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nothing tops a plain pizza
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__ch4nc3__
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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I don't know if this is a Dad joke or just plain appalling...

I was in the kitchen with John Lennon about to do the dishes and I turned to him and said:

"Right John, I've got my washing up basin, sponges, hot water, the dishes themselves of course...is that it am I ready to go? Do I need anything else?"

And John turned to me and said-

>!"All you need is glove!<

>!All you need is glove,!<

>!All you need is glove,glove!<

>!Glove is all you need"!<

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WeeHootieMctoo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A plain cut
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonDrawer14
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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Plain pizza
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deathlysin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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An old man placed an order for one hamburger, french fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them.

As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.

Obviously, they were thinking, "That poor old couple...all they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his fries, a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple.

The old man said, they were just fine, they were used to sharing everything.

People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite.

She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.

This time the old woman said, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked, "What is it you are waiting for?"

She answered, "THE TEETH!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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A Plain Bun and a Vanilla cream Bun goes to the cinema

During the sad movie, the Vanilla cream Bun cried while the Plain Bun did not... Why?

  • Cause the Vanilla cream Bun had fillings~

The Vanilla cream Bun went to the cinema again but this time with the Chocolate cream Bun. However, the Chocolate cream Bun cried but not the Vanilla cream Bun... Why?

  • Cause the buns has different fillings~
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M0oomo00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
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just a plain cut
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sileoujxjx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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They say that my jokes are just plain stupid but
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notunclejosh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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Libya changed its plain green flag to a crescent moon, but I think they'll change it back.

It's only a phase, after all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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An Englishman took a train through the Nullarbor plain...

...he found it a bit pointless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onechordbassist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Turns out butter makes plain toast better…

…but only margarine-ally so.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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You can say plain sailing, but you can't say boat flying.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMDRShamx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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A little plain humor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatsDoom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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I want to make a joke about plains

But every time I do they fall flat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bolacola
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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Just a picture of a plain street sign
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shroomley
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
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My wife asked if Tony Romo was still playing for the Cowboys. I said he was working for CBS as a plain potato.

Because he’s a commentator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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I was thinking my trip to Canada was going to be rather plain.

When I got off my flight I overheard "Pretty plane eh?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ice-_-Bear
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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I would order plain pizza...

But flights are so expensive this time of year!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billdanbury
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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When making new tunnels on the western plain, prairie dogs get help

The hole family pitches in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
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Plain Hijacking
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sushiroll98
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2016
🚨︎ report
There is only one thing better than the great plains

Great helicopters

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelodicaMan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
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Why do prisons serve only plain bagels?

They're afraid the inmates will pick lox.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/turnpike37
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
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Hay, ash, watch a plain
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plasker6
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2013
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This one was just plain painful.

"What did the earthworm say when offered some soil?"

I don't know, what?

"No I'm good, but thank you for the sediment."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sex_bob-omb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2013
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What a plain wedding. cnn.com/2014/11/03/travel…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shambles299
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2014
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I wanted to tell a joke about wildlife on the African plains

but i waSavannahard time coming up with a punchline

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2017
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He was told to wear a plain tie (x-post from funny)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unaspirateur
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2014
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Some... Thing... On the plain...

So my dad and I are driving through Colorado and see a handful of structures that look like giant golf balls on the plains. We start discussing what they are when I muster up my best William Shatner voice and go "There.. Is some... Thing... On... The plains..." and die laughing. Made dad proud. Rest of the car, not so much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bamhm182
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2014
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My Father's Dad Joke. Just Plain Batty

Yesterday a large package arrived from UPS. it was a bat house my mother had ordered. As my mother excitedly opened the package, I asked why we need a bat house. My dad steps into the room and says "Because your mother is bat shit crazy. " And stepped back out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mattymatt43
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2014
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lumikue
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
nothing tops a plain hotdog
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__ch4nc3__
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
nothing tops a plain pizza
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CowSensei
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StupidDonkeyFace
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is plain pizza the best pizza?

Because nothing tops it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuzzySparrow
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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Nothing tops a plain hotdog.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain pizza.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan-Quixote
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Nothing tops a plain Hot Dog.

Nothing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yokotron
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Nothing tops a plain pizza.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/opethlike
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report

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