There's a medicine you can buy that apparently cures scepticism.
I wrote an essay in highschool about lottery winners who ended up losing. Apparently I thought this was way funnier than it is.
Sorry I've been so quiet here today. I've been keeping a close eye on the local news. Apparently there's a lad going around stabbing people with knitting needles.
Police say he may be following a pattern.
My son, apparently an 7yo dad says to me... " Hey dad, what's the alien say to the cat?"
"Take me to your litter"
He's been working on his joke game. V.proud.
Apparently you can’t use ‘beefstew’ as a pass word
Apparently, Santa has epilepsy....
He seizures when you’re sleeping.
Apparently a lot of sniffer dogs are just vanishing into thin air.
Police say, they have several leads.
Apparently, you can't use beef stew as a password...
I guess it's not stroganoff
Apparently Florida has the highest rate of infidelity in the country...
It's an unfortunate state of affairs.
I made a joke about the song Staying Alive and how it sounds like women singing. Apparently many of you didn’t like it.
Hereby my sincere apolobeegies!
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
Apparently, I’ve been using counterfeit electricity at home.
I’m a victim of electron fraud!
Apparently until the age of 10 ,
Sean Connery's son thought Humpty Dumpty, shat on the wall
My friend told me about his new boat. Apparently, it has a canopy.
I said "Well, better than a can o' poo."
Apparently every police department has a food division
However, they only take cases involving a salt and buttery.
Apparently, Neil deGrasse Tyson has a brother, who has a very successful grass-cutting business.
So apparently NASA hadn't heard of farting before...
Apparently they have determined that diarrhoea is now hereditary...
It’s known to run in jeans.
Apparently there is a severe shortage of doulas around the world...
It's a real mid-wife crisis!
Apparently being a hitman is a great profession...
I hear they make a killing
Apparently Orion wasn't too excited about his new belt.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized...
Apparently there was a crime that happened on the airplane that led to the plane crashing into the ocean.
The police are trying to investigate to figure out how it all went down.
Apparently that new tropical storm is really hard to track. I keep seeing on the news TROPICAL STORM ETA
but they never say when it’ll hit.
Apparently people make money flipping houses.
I tried the other day but mine is far too heavy.
My 4 year old daughter came crying that she couldn't find her Barbie dolls. Apparently, my 2 year old son threw them in fire last night for fun.
Apparently someone gets stabbed every 48 seconds in South London.
Apparently a town in South Wales is having greater lockdown restrictions imposed on it....
.....and it wouldn't have happened if people there had done things more Caerphilly.
Apparently, Kanye West has ended his Presidential campaign.
And just shortly after starting it too. But you know how the saying is: "Yeezy come Yeezy go".
Apparently they won't just cremate anyone.
Apparently my cat has caught COVID-19
Apparently someone in my town has been stealing the wheels off police cars
They’ve been working tirelessly to find him
Apparently a bunch of comedians are making their own beer at the local pub.
I don't know, sounds like a big brewhaha to me.
Apparently nobody knows why Notre Dame caught fire....
...but Quasimodo has a hunch.
My archeologist buddy invited me to a party. Apparently the entertainment was looking for leg bones in his backyard.
Apparently there’s a group down the street that’s amazing at grabbing things, but they refuse to do it when I’m around.
They never seize to amaze me
Apparently every country got coronavirus
But China got it right off the bat
Apparently, there's a big market for an expensive breed of cow that only eats marijuana plants.
Apparently you can't use "beefsoup" as a password.
Apparently you can't use beef stew as a password.
Apparently you can’t use “beef stew” as a password.
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
Apparently a cat has caught COVID-19.
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