There's a medicine you can buy that apparently cures scepticism.

But I'm not buying it.

πŸ‘︎ 220
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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I wrote an essay in highschool about lottery winners who ended up losing. Apparently I thought this was way funnier than it is.
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealSkylitPanda
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Sorry I've been so quiet here today. I've been keeping a close eye on the local news. Apparently there's a lad going around stabbing people with knitting needles.

Police say he may be following a pattern.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pdarigan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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My son, apparently an 7yo dad says to me... " Hey dad, what's the alien say to the cat?"

"Take me to your litter"

He's been working on his joke game. V.proud.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Subtotalpoet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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Apparently you can’t use β€˜beefstew’ as a pass word

It’s not stroganoff

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Apparently, Santa has epilepsy....

He seizures when you’re sleeping.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_fury_2000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently a lot of sniffer dogs are just vanishing into thin air.

Police say, they have several leads.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Apparently, you can't use beef stew as a password...

I guess it's not stroganoff

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Apparently Florida has the highest rate of infidelity in the country...

It's an unfortunate state of affairs.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GIGA255
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I made a joke about the song Staying Alive and how it sounds like women singing. Apparently many of you didn’t like it.

Hereby my sincere apolobeegies!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pleasethelions
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaBear1718
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently, I’ve been using counterfeit electricity at home.

I’m a victim of electron fraud!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Apparently until the age of 10 ,

Sean Connery's son thought Humpty Dumpty, shat on the wall

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend told me about his new boat. Apparently, it has a canopy.

I said "Well, better than a can o' poo."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuicidalNomad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently every police department has a food division

However, they only take cases involving a salt and buttery.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently, Neil deGrasse Tyson has a brother, who has a very successful grass-cutting business.

Yup. His name is Moe.

πŸ‘︎ 219
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πŸ‘€︎ u/batnuna
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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So apparently NASA hadn't heard of farting before...
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aplhaone
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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Apparently they have determined that diarrhoea is now hereditary...

It’s known to run in jeans.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JLangvee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently there is a severe shortage of doulas around the world...

It's a real mid-wife crisis!

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scrollholio
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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Apparently being a hitman is a great profession...

I hear they make a killing

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TaterRae94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently Orion wasn't too excited about his new belt.

He only gave it 3 stars.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized...

I'm in Seine.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cinnafury03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently there was a crime that happened on the airplane that led to the plane crashing into the ocean.

The police are trying to investigate to figure out how it all went down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ikennaezeee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently that new tropical storm is really hard to track. I keep seeing on the news TROPICAL STORM ETA

but they never say when it’ll hit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/holm12345
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently people make money flipping houses.

I tried the other day but mine is far too heavy.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loot98
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My 4 year old daughter came crying that she couldn't find her Barbie dolls. Apparently, my 2 year old son threw them in fire last night for fun.

Barbiecued.

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stent_kush
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently someone gets stabbed every 48 seconds in South London.

Poor bastard.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theultimatetaff
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently a town in South Wales is having greater lockdown restrictions imposed on it....

.....and it wouldn't have happened if people there had done things more Caerphilly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KCL80
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently, Kanye West has ended his Presidential campaign.

And just shortly after starting it too. But you know how the saying is: "Yeezy come Yeezy go".

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NomadStar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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Apparently they won't just cremate anyone.

You've gotta urn it!

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently my cat has caught COVID-19

Don’t ask meow

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glowcoma
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently someone in my town has been stealing the wheels off police cars

They’ve been working tirelessly to find him

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsaustinjones
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently a bunch of comedians are making their own beer at the local pub.

I don't know, sounds like a big brewhaha to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently nobody knows why Notre Dame caught fire....

...but Quasimodo has a hunch.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swartz52
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My archeologist buddy invited me to a party. Apparently the entertainment was looking for leg bones in his backyard.

It was quite the shindig

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently there’s a group down the street that’s amazing at grabbing things, but they refuse to do it when I’m around.

They never seize to amaze me

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/solemnbiscuit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently every country got coronavirus

But China got it right off the bat

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LTenaciouSD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently, there's a big market for an expensive breed of cow that only eats marijuana plants.

The steaks are high.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuicyPotato21
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently you can't use "beefsoup" as a password.

It isn't stroganoff.

πŸ‘︎ 673
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttered_t0asties
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently you can't use beef stew as a password.

It's not stroganoff.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Prpeach
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently you can’t use β€œbeef stew” as a password.

It’s not stroganoff.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gabagaba62
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

No it was with a knife.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grandcanyon19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently a cat has caught COVID-19.

Don’t ask meow though.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/insideout97
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report

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