Apparently the COVID vaccine causes constipation
When I got mine the other day they told me I had to wait 3 weeks to get number 2.
So apparently when you die, the last part of your body that stops working is your pupils..
It’s because they di-late
Apparently, schools will now run from September right through till July with no holidays....
It's a long term solution.
No more Suez Canal jokes! SERIOUSLY! We are considering litigation. Apparently some guy named Ezra keeps posting those jokes...
...and if I can’t sue Ez, can Al?
Feel blessed to live in Hawai'i but apparently, I'm just not a funny guy. Every time I tell a joke, all I get is...
Apparently you can't use beef stew as a password.
There's a medicine you can buy that apparently cures scepticism.
I wrote an essay in highschool about lottery winners who ended up losing. Apparently I thought this was way funnier than it is.
Sorry I've been so quiet here today. I've been keeping a close eye on the local news. Apparently there's a lad going around stabbing people with knitting needles.
Police say he may be following a pattern.
Apparently you can’t use ‘beefstew’ as a pass word
My son, apparently an 7yo dad says to me... " Hey dad, what's the alien say to the cat?"
"Take me to your litter"
He's been working on his joke game. V.proud.
Apparently, Santa has epilepsy....
He seizures when you’re sleeping.
Apparently a lot of sniffer dogs are just vanishing into thin air.
Police say, they have several leads.
I made a joke about the song Staying Alive and how it sounds like women singing. Apparently many of you didn’t like it.
Hereby my sincere apolobeegies!
Apparently Florida has the highest rate of infidelity in the country...
It's an unfortunate state of affairs.
So apparently NASA hadn't heard of farting before...
Apparently, Neil deGrasse Tyson has a brother, who has a very successful grass-cutting business.
My friend told me about his new boat. Apparently, it has a canopy.
I said "Well, better than a can o' poo."
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
Apparently, I’ve been using counterfeit electricity at home.
I’m a victim of electron fraud!
Apparently until the age of 10 ,
Sean Connery's son thought Humpty Dumpty, shat on the wall
Apparently every police department has a food division
However, they only take cases involving a salt and buttery.
Apparently Orion wasn't too excited about his new belt.
Apparently there is a severe shortage of doulas around the world...
It's a real mid-wife crisis!
Apparently being a hitman is a great profession...
I hear they make a killing
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized...
Apparently they have determined that diarrhoea is now hereditary...
It’s known to run in jeans.
Apparently that new tropical storm is really hard to track. I keep seeing on the news TROPICAL STORM ETA
but they never say when it’ll hit.
Apparently there was a crime that happened on the airplane that led to the plane crashing into the ocean.
The police are trying to investigate to figure out how it all went down.
My 4 year old daughter came crying that she couldn't find her Barbie dolls. Apparently, my 2 year old son threw them in fire last night for fun.
Apparently people make money flipping houses.
I tried the other day but mine is far too heavy.
Apparently nobody knows why Notre Dame caught fire....
...but Quasimodo has a hunch.
Apparently someone in my town has been stealing the wheels off police cars
They’ve been working tirelessly to find him
Apparently, Kanye West has ended his Presidential campaign.
And just shortly after starting it too. But you know how the saying is: "Yeezy come Yeezy go".
Apparently someone gets stabbed every 48 seconds in South London.
Apparently they won't just cremate anyone.
Apparently a town in South Wales is having greater lockdown restrictions imposed on it....
.....and it wouldn't have happened if people there had done things more Caerphilly.
Apparently my cat has caught COVID-19
Apparently a bunch of comedians are making their own beer at the local pub.
I don't know, sounds like a big brewhaha to me.
Apparently you can’t use “beef stew” as a password 🤔
Apparently you can't use "beefsoup" as a password.
Apparently you can't use beef stew as a password.
Apparently, you can't use beef stew as a password...
I guess it's not stroganoff
Apparently you can’t use “beef stew” as a password.
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.
MOM: Oh my! Who!?
DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?
MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????
DAD: No, it was with a knife...
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