Plagued Puns

He refused to step down!

It was quite the Saab story

I guess that's why they call them quacks

He was dead lifting.

Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!

... that's been plagued with unexpected phenomenon and ghost sightings recently? Well, Matt Damon has decided he wants to make a movie out of the story.

It's going to be called Goodwill Haunting

You can always catch a bulbous sore.

Plaguerize

In the plague ground.

My brother was describing the game Plague, inc. to my dad this morning. Here's how it went down:

Brother: So in this game, you have to make a disease, choose all of its characteristics, and then try to infect as many people in the world as possible.

Dad: That's kind of sick

Many groans were had by all.

They played rock paper Caesar

A Lepercon

Aw rats

Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Plagued with Halitosis.

Putting a strain on our relationships

But you won't get it

A plague-an

Solitaire.

A plague-al cadence

A Swallow

Because there's a plague ground.

Did you catch The Plague?

John the Baptist of Biblical fame used to walk through the desert in his bare feet. This left his feet tough, which is understandable- the hot sand and rough terrain would leave anyone's feet tough. He was known to receive signs from God and occasionally perform mystical feats. He subsisted on a diet of locusts and honey. Without access to dental hygiene at the time, this left him with somewhat bad breath. It also left him frail, as the diet wasn't varied and would have required an immense intake of food to be remotely sustained.

I guess that you could say that he was a super-callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

The details are sketchy.

Courtsey - Plague Inc.

He got the boooobonic plague

I didn't want to catch the blue bonnet plague

The boobonic plague.

1. "Level Plaguing Field"
2. "Look Who’s Stalking"
3. "The Great Ape Processional"
4. "Past Their Primates"
5. "Close Encounters of the Furred Kind"
6. "Monkey to the City"
7. "The Lost City of Chimpanzee"
8. "Along Simian Lines"
9. "Caesar No Evil, Hear No Evil"
10. "Monkey See, Monkey Coup"
11. "Gorilla Warfare" 7:37
12. "The Apes of Wrath"
13. "Gibbon Take"
14. "Aped Crusaders"
15. "How Bonobo Can You Go"
16. "Enough Monkeying Around"
17. "Primates for Life"
18. "Planet of the End Credits"
19. "Ain’t That a Stinger"

While my brother was eating his salad, my dad casually stated, "be careful eating so many croutons, or you could catch the croutonic plague."

So I got sick from food poisoning eating at a restaurant here called "Blue Bonnet"

When I called in to tell my boss that I wouldn't be coming in, I told him "I have the Blue Bonnet plague"

The plague-ground.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.