Mnemonic Plague can never be forgotten.
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fingers
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2020
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How is Pokemon like the Bubonic Plague?

You can always catch a bulbous sore.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fermatajack
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2020
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To steal someone's research material on plague is to

Plaguerize

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crazyjarvis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 29 2020
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Plague, inc.

My brother was describing the game Plague, inc. to my dad this morning. Here's how it went down:

Brother: So in this game, you have to make a disease, choose all of its characteristics, and then try to infect as many people in the world as possible.

Dad: That's kind of sick

Many groans were had by all.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/misterjake96
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2014
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All work and no plague makes for a very different 13th Century.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mairiphinc
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 04 2017
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What do you call an irishman with the plague?

A Lepercon

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Infamous_Swede
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2018
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What did people say when they caught the Black Plague?

Aw rats

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hyperzombieRS
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2018
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I have a joke about the Black Plague

But you won't get it

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FenixFaust
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2018
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Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?

He was dead lifting.

Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/35mmPirate
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2020
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Did you hear about the thrift store in Boston....

... that's been plagued with unexpected phenomenon and ghost sightings recently? Well, Matt Damon has decided he wants to make a movie out of the story.

It's going to be called Goodwill Haunting

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jackrabbits1im
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 04 2021
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Where do unvaccinated children play ?

In the plague ground.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2021
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Did you hear about the scandal-plagued politician who insisted on taking the elevator?

He refused to step down!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 26 2019
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How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?

They played rock paper Caesar

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2020
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COVID-19 is

Putting a strain on our relationships

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wkono
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 02 2020
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My Swedish sedan was plagued by years of maintenance issues

It was quite the Saab story

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ultimateorangutan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2018
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There was an old hermit who lived in a cave and walked a lot, but didn't have shoes. He also didn't have the greatest health and had really bad breath. They called him the:

Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Plagued with Halitosis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/l8rry394
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 20 2020
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What do you call someone who worships diseases?

A plague-an

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OniLewds
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
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My proudest one eved
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ghostie20
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2020
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What is the official game of Corona Virus Quarantine?

Solitaire.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2020
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Just another viral rant.

All right reddit, I have to get this off my chest. I’m absolutely SICK of this pandemic. Everywhere I go, I’m constantly being PESTERED to wipe down surfaces and sanitize my hands. It’s a complete infestation of my personal space!

Let’s face it, our ailing democratic rights have taken a huge hit. And this is a symptom of a larger problem. Namely, our ruling class seems totally impaired! We are being totally ill-informed by people who claim they know everything about this disease.

For example, this whole situation has been plagued with problems since the beginning! It’s a scourge on what’s left of humanity.

So I say, it’s time to break out of the shackles and seize our lives back! We need to combat this virus that flew around the world with everything we’ve got. Because this lock down is bugging the hell out of me! This is a cold call to do your part. The health of our society depends on it!

Happy quarantine, everyone!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/daloonik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 09 2020
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What’s COVID-19’s favorite chord progression?

A plague-al cadence

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/smolprincess928
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2020
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What’s a pornstars favorite bird?

A Swallow

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DjBWren
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2018
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We should be scared at going to the park

Because there's a plague ground.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/filmememore
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2020
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I was wondering about that new movie about deadly diseases...

Did you catch The Plague?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/404wav
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2019
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A cartoonist was found dead in the apartment...

The details are sketchy.

Courtsey - Plague Inc.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/timetokill87
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2018
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Why did the ghost die?

He got the boooobonic plague

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/freakinhilarious
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2018
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John the Baptist

John the Baptist of Biblical fame used to walk through the desert in his bare feet. This left his feet tough, which is understandable- the hot sand and rough terrain would leave anyone's feet tough. He was known to receive signs from God and occasionally perform mystical feats. He subsisted on a diet of locusts and honey. Without access to dental hygiene at the time, this left him with somewhat bad breath. It also left him frail, as the diet wasn't varied and would have required an immense intake of food to be remotely sustained.

I guess that you could say that he was a super-callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/edpeters1
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 04 2017
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I was nervous to move from California to Texas

I didn't want to catch the blue bonnet plague

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dsherwoodmathman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2018
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What disease do ghosts catch?

The boobonic plague.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/othernamesweretaken1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2016
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My father at dinner

While my brother was eating his salad, my dad casually stated, "be careful eating so many croutons, or you could catch the croutonic plague."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-el-oh-el-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2015
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Dawn of the Planet of the Apes OST
  1. "Level Plaguing Field"
  2. "Look Who’s Stalking"
  3. "The Great Ape Processional"
  4. "Past Their Primates"
  5. "Close Encounters of the Furred Kind"
  6. "Monkey to the City"
  7. "The Lost City of Chimpanzee"
  8. "Along Simian Lines"
  9. "Caesar No Evil, Hear No Evil"
  10. "Monkey See, Monkey Coup"
  11. "Gorilla Warfare" 7:37
  12. "The Apes of Wrath"
  13. "Gibbon Take"
  14. "Aped Crusaders"
  15. "How Bonobo Can You Go"
  16. "Enough Monkeying Around"
  17. "Primates for Life"
  18. "Planet of the End Credits"
  19. "Ain’t That a Stinger"
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/walruspowers
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2014
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Dad joked my boss last week

So I got sick from food poisoning eating at a restaurant here called "Blue Bonnet"

When I called in to tell my boss that I wouldn't be coming in, I told him "I have the Blue Bonnet plague"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wpatter6
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 23 2014
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What do you call a place where little zombie kids play?

The plague-ground.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yawus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2014
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Plague inc is a sick game
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jesuscristIJB
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2018
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Because Ghandi was barefoot all the time and had bad hygiene...

He was a super calloused fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2017
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