Now heβs high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
Itβs my jingle bell rock.
A misteak
and the box said 2-4 years!
It can really tie an outfit together
My wife said, "It's all fun until someone loses an "I".
A combine.
It was riveting!
A T-shirt
When he goes to the bathroom it could spell trouble.
Husband: I recommend that you use this clamp with my companyβs logo on it.
Wife: I donβt need your advise!
My lawyer said I donβt have much of a case.
The whole process was riveting
It was tearable.
A bass turd.
"6 please. I could never eat 12."
a Breadneck
The decision was a piece of cake.
The police arenβt helping because there isnβt enough concrete evidence.
Stationary.
It was simply terrible
He asks the barman about it and the barman explains, βIf you can jump up and hit one, youβll get a free drink, but if you miss, you have to buy everyone a round!β
The guy looks up and ponders for a minute then replies, βNah, the steaks are too high.β
I think Iβll call it βMr. Hollandβs Opusβ
All you have to do is wait, eventually itβll crease to exist!
Not on my watch!
Itβs true I saw it with my own eyes.
He was all bark and no bite
you could go to jail for a very long time?
With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".
The money is good.
I'm on knights this week.
Dashing
(Banana for scale)
Although what the daft boy wants with an ex box, I'll never know.
They climb up a couple of bar stools and have a seat. One of them says to the bartender, "Hey, give me and my partner here a beer would you?"
The bartender replied, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here."
So they climb down off of the bar stools and slither across the floor and out of the bar.
One says to the other,"Lets go down the street. I know of a better bar than this one anyways."
"Now wait a minute, said the other string.This is clearly discrimination!"
"Well what do you intend to do about it?"said the other string?
"I'm going to go back in with a disguise and I'll get that damn beer." So he ties himself in a knot, frazzles up one end of himself,goes back into the bar,slithers across the floor and climbs up the bar stool. He says to the bartender, "I'd like a beer please."
The bartender says," Wait a minute . Aren't you the same piece of string that was in here a while ago?"
So the string said, "No.I'm a frayed knot.
Guy:"Whats this about?" Bartender:"Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyones drinks for the next hour. You wanna do it? Guy:"Nah, the steaks are too high."
I call it the: Measure Mint
I know it's hard to believe, but I saw it with my own two eyes.
Because they think every check is check mate
FLANnel
A jigsaw pozole.
Im gonna be blunt with you,
When I asked the keeper why, he said, "It was bread in captivity!"
A scarf.
βWhat are you doing, dad?β
I sigh a long, heavy sigh.
βNot much, just feeling board.β
