One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, 'When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger.
Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. Don't love me anymore?'
'Nonsense, darling,' replied the husband, 'you just cook better now.'
What do you call it when you only have a little butter left and you use it all on one last piece of toast?
Butter, then nothing
What is the Latin word for "one-piece bathing suit"?
Bikinus.
I went to the zoo the other day. One of the new exhibits was a piece of toast in a cage. I asked the zookeeper "what's that all about?" He said...
"Its bread in captivity"
What did the wig shop owner shout at the thief as they ran out of the store with one of the hair pieces?
Hey!! GET BACK HERE!!! You need toupeΓ© for that!!
My wife is teaching my little ones (3/1) about bugs so they wrote βAntβ in honey on a piece of paper to attract them and set it out on the deck. She was sad When we went out to check later that day, only one was there.
You should have pluralized it and more would have shown up!
Bruh, now i know why none of my posts have blown up, it's coz i asked to have them all in one piece yesterday.
One piece of advice my dad always gave me is to learn early from your mistakes.
Probably why Iβm the only child.
The thread on this r/AskReddit question: Married people of Reddit, what one piece of advice you wish you could give to yourself when you were single?
Whatβs the worst thing one can say at piece of papers funeral?
R.I.P
My daughter was acting up so I stuck one end of a piece if wire in the ground and told her to hold the other end.
Now she's grounded.
A piece of rope is walking home one day
When a gang robs the rope, tying it into a knot and cutting it up in the in the process. Some horrified onlookers rush over afterwards and ask "Are you ok?"
The rope replies: "I'm a frayed knot."
What did one piece of pumpernickel say to the other?
Gluten tag.
If you're gonna make a pun using an One Piece reference...
you better have a Grand Line!
I have a piece of yarn hanging from one corner of my room to the other.
I think it really ties the room together.
What did one piece of wood say to the other? I'm bored.
I came home one day to find my dad eating three pieces of bread.
He told me with no hesitation that he was eating a jam sandwich.
