Ive invented a new phone charger

The results are shocking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/minamo99
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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So my hamster chewed through my phone charger last night.

I think it’s fair to say she had a... shocking experience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yaagii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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Today, my phone died, and I forgot my charger.

I felt so powerless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/biggusjimmus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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My wife, looking for a phone charger said "Where did the chargers go?"

"They moved to LA" I replied.
(We live in San Diego.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dad_of_four_kids
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2017
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Why should all phones charged with portable chargers be put in jail?

Because they were charged with... battery!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tamakid345
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2016
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I asked my dad why he bought me all the phone chargers he could find

He said "because chicks love a man with power."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scrpn17w
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2015
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I came up with my own dad joke a few weeks ago

My 14 year old daughter got up from the table after eating a bowl of cereal, so I told her to put the milk away. Then we had this exchange:

"Before you put that back in the fridge, why don't you plug it into the iPhone charger on the counter first?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, you gotta charge up that milk. It's only at one percent!"

I say it so often now that my kids stopped eating cereal, and have pretty much cut dairy from their diets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doctor-rumack
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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Buying a new car

I bought a Dodge Charger recently and thought of the perfect custom license plate today, "PHONE"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BobJoob
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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Upgrading my phone.

Me: I hate that everyone keeps taking my cell phone charger in this house. I'm gonna upgrade my phone so can have a different charging port.

Wife: That's a poor excuse for wanting an upgrade.

Me: You mean a port excuse?

Wife: Ugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RewrittenSol
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
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Can I ask you something?

Why isn't an Apple iPhone charger, called apple juice!?!?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gamertron20000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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A pail o' puns!

1. What is the most important drink in life?

Vitali-tea.

2. What do you call an uptight man with wet tapestry?

A wet blanket with a wet blanket.

3. Describe an uptight man with an erection holding an alcoholic beverage.

A stiff with a stiff with a stiff.

4. What do you call introverted window blinds?

A shutter-in.

5. What do you call an uncooked deer cookie?

Dat doe dough 'dough.

6. What do you call a plant's religion?

Agri-culture.

7. What do you call a football players' phone charger?

A Charger's phone charger.

8. What do you call a clock tower striking twelve?

High noon.

That's all I got.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StickDemonic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2016
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My dad texts me jokes about once a week. Here are about 30 of my favorites.
  • What's the difference between mononucleosis and herpes? You get mono from snatching kisses.

  • If you were to lose your left arm, you'd be all right.

  • Why can't you hear a pteradactyl going to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.

  • Communists only write in lower-case letters because they hate capitalism.

  • I got a new job at the police sketching pictures of suspects. I'm a con artist.

  • Cat Woman's real name is Catherine Woman.

  • I have a new cat joke. ...Just kitt'en.

  • How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for Fresh Prints. *

  • Did you hear about the two men who stole a calendar? They got six months each.

  • I just saw an Apple store get robbed. Does that make me an iWitness?

  • Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.

  • I'm moving to Seoul. I was told it would be a good Korea move.

  • Did you hear about the professor who was killed in a car accident? He was grading papers on a curve.

  • Why isn't an iPhone charger called Apple Juice?

  • Ever try to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

  • When Peter Pan throws punches, they Never Land.

  • I was struggling to understand how lightning works, but then it struck me.

  • Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too.

  • Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the moon, and then follow up with, "Ah, I guess you had to be there."

  • I'm going to make a TV series about a plane hijacking. We just shot the pilot.

  • Would you call a drunk working at an upholstery a recovering alcoholic?

  • Yesterday I got covered in ketchup from my head tomatoes.

  • Even though I've gone bald, I still keep the same comb I've had for 20 years. I just can't part with it.

  • Picture of my sister after getting her nose pierced "She nose something!"

  • I went to the dentist and showed him my cavity. He told me to pull up my pants and get the hell out.

  • Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It was okay - he woke up.

  • So what if I can't spell armageddon. It's not the end of the world.

  • When you get an infection, urine trouble.

  • "Hey waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!" "Yes, sir; it's fresh ground."

  • How did the butcher introduce his wife? "Meat Patty."

  • Elton John is a great piano player, but he sucks on the organ.

  • Elton John wrote a tribute to Amy Winehouse: Candle Under the Spoon *

  • What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke. *

*My absolut

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhenIm6TFour
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2014
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Roommate just bought a new Dodge Dart.
  • RM: (phone dying) I left my charger at work.
  • Me: But you have a Dart.
  • RM: What does that have to do... GOD DAMMIT!!!!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbob5059
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2014
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Heard this one at an airport the other day

I don't really remember it well, so I'll paraphrase:

SON: Ugh, my phone is almost out of power, and my charger doesn't work.

DAD: When'd it break?

SON: A few months ago.

DAD: Then how have you been charging it?

SON: Well, I've been charging it over at Austin's ^([His friend, I imagine])

DAD: So you've been using Austin's Power?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elronnd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2016
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Heard a great subtle joke in the show, "The Master of None".

Dev: "He seems nice."

Grandma Carol: "I don't like him. He steals our phone chargers."

Dev: "I don't think thats really a profitable racket... "

Grandma Carol: it's not about the money; it's about the power!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ILikeLampz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2015
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A dad walked into the store I work at...

He asked me if we sold any phone chargers. I told him yes and asked if he needed a house charger or a car charger.

He replied "No, I need it for my phone"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinkiman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2015
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Dad-joked my dad on the drive to the airport early this morning:

Dad: Are you sure you don't want to bring this [additional phone charger]?

Me: Dad, I have so many chargers packed...they're going to think I have weapons of mass conduction!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emzul
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2015
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My dad got me while unwrapping gifts this morning

Me: *unwrapping presents"

"Aww cool, it's a 10 foot phone charger!"

Dad: "Do you even have a 10 foot phone?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scootnoodle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
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