I once worked in a kitchen full of philosophers...
They could never decide which to prep first, the chicken or the eggs.
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︎ Jun 05 2021
What type of sandwich did the philosopher get
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︎ May 29 2021
My new neighbour asked what I did for a living, and I told her that I'm an existentialist philosopher...
Her: "So what does that mean, you just sit around thinking about being all day?"
Me: "No, some days I also think about nothing."
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︎ May 11 2021
What is the philosopher's favorite element?
Plato-nium
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︎ Mar 23 2021
I guess I know what those philosophers said when they ate bread for the first time
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︎ Apr 08 2021
What did the nomad philosopher say?
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Who is the hungriest philosopher?
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︎ Mar 27 2021
My favorite Star Wars character is a philosopher
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Why did the philosopher quit his job as a pilot?
He wanted to reach a different plane of existence
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︎ Feb 25 2021
Someone asked me to name a greater philosopher than Nietzsche.
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Budweiser harvest(?)
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︎ Mar 29 2021
Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher, but no one mentions his sister
Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol
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︎ Jul 24 2020
What philosopher appealed to only a small, select group of people?
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︎ Nov 12 2020
I taught my kid to speed read today. He read Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone in 3 hours!
I know its only 6 words.. but its a start!
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︎ Sep 22 2020
Drinking beer with a philosopher....
Makes you nothing Budweiser.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Why do marine biologists make good philosophers?
Because they spend their lives search for porpoise.
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︎ Oct 18 2020
Which philosopher do cows love the most?
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︎ Nov 15 2020
My favorite philosopher
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︎ Sep 08 2020
What does the philosophical dolphin think about?
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︎ Jul 30 2020
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
.
...or was it Sock-rates?
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︎ May 22 2020
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a philosopher?
An offer you can't understand.
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︎ Jun 28 2020
What is it called when you spend an hour in the bookstore browsing for German philosophers?
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︎ Jun 16 2020
I taught my kid speed reading and Iβm proud to say that he managed to finish βHarry Potter and the Philosopherβs Stoneβ in an hour and a half.
I know itβs only six words, but itβs a start.
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︎ Sep 29 2018
The founder of modern study.
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︎ Oct 20 2020
I found a specific hobby of adding alliteration to German philosophersβ names
Glad I found my Nietzsche niche
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︎ Jun 24 2020
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
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︎ May 22 2020
A friend didn't want to stop telling me all about his philosophical ideas.
So I told him to stop being such a Kant!
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︎ Jun 05 2020
What do they call a philosophical monk that works at McDonald's?
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︎ Dec 08 2019
This is an image of an obese, yet philosophical man of the cloth.
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︎ Feb 01 2020
What do you call a philosopher who is unable to do anything?
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︎ Jan 29 2020
Me, trying to sound smart: So, who is your favorite philosopher?
Her: Itβs Hume.
Me: Sorry, whom is your favorite philosopher?
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︎ Dec 28 2018
Did you hear about the incredibly average philosopher?
His name was mediocrates.
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︎ Sep 09 2019
He was the greatest philosopher of the canine community.
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︎ Apr 18 2019
What do you call a flirtatious philosopher?
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︎ Jan 29 2020
What did the photocopier philosopher say?
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︎ Sep 21 2019
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"
The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.
This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by RenΓ© Descartes.
But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
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︎ Sep 05 2020
Who was the fastest philosopher?
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︎ Jan 22 2020
Which philosophical text do children best relate with?
Play Doughβs βThe Republicβ
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︎ Jan 05 2020
I was asked to give the first initial and last name of my favorite philosopher
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︎ Feb 06 2017
What do you call it if you have philosophical conversation with a friend when the weekend starts?
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︎ Dec 20 2019
Greek philosophers have strange names
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︎ Jan 20 2019
What is the name of the greatest philosopher to ever live?
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︎ Nov 04 2019
Philosophical Hunger
Yesterday, I purchased 2 sandwiches because I was very hungry - a chicken salad sandwich and an egg salad sandwich. My dilemma was I had no idea which one I should eat first.
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︎ Sep 19 2019
Philosophers have really good....
Depth perception
This is deep
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︎ May 07 2019
How did they recover the frozen philosopher from the ice?
The process was simple; it was well thought out.
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︎ Sep 18 2019
What is the english philosopherβs favourite food
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︎ Oct 21 2019
Which philosopher was the best footballer?
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︎ Jan 29 2019
I am teaching my kid speed reading and Iβm proud to say that he managed to finish βHarry Potter and the Philosopherβs Stoneβ in an hour and a half.
I know itβs only six words, but itβs a start.
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︎ Nov 26 2019
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