My doctor said that when you die, your pupils are the last thing to go....

Because they dilate...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnooRobots3440
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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I think this belongs here, so does u/i_am_a_pathetic
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kokachi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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Buckets are pathetic compared to bathtubs

In fact they pail in comparison

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisvskris
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Do they allow loud laughs in Hawaii?

Or just a low ha?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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I decided not to buy a baguette after seeing a pathetic mock up of it in the bakery window.

It was a terrible roll model.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rc538
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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Someone save him.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DSpeed4s
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine

when he saw two pathetic-looking men by the side of the road, eating grass. He ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked the men, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have no money for food," the first man replied.

"Then you must come with me to my house," insisted the lawyer.

"But, sir, I got a wife and three kids here," said the man.

"Bring them along!" replied the lawyer.

The second man exclaimed, "I got a wife and six kids!"

"Bring them as well!", the lawyer proclaimed as he headed back to his limo.

They all climbed into the car, and once underway, one of the men expresses, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "I'm most happy to do it. You'll love my place. The grass is almost a foot tall."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kachow--
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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In the forest, a sad lonely looking turtle begins to climb slowly up a huge tree. Half way up, it edges along a branch, sighs, then jumps. It falls smacking into the ground, bouncing and tumbling across the forest floor...

Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps and falls to the ground.

The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.

Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, β€œDarling, don't you think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
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A woman named Falacy walks into a bar...

A woman walks into a bar and takes a seat. The bartender asks what she wants to drink and her name, "Falacy" she responds despondently.

"What's got you down, Falacy?" he asks.

"I had a terrible day, my dog threw up all over my shoes this morning, got fired from my job and my car broke down on the way home. To make matters worse as I trudged over to this bar it started pouring it down with rain."

The bartender looks her up and down pitifully.

"That's pathetic, Falacy"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Horrisyodo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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The Real Purpose of a Propeller

Most people think the main purpose of a propeller is to help keep the plane up in the air but that is not the case

It is really meant to be used to cool off the pilot

Because if the propeller stops spinning then the pilot begins to sweat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Justin_Kehoe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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Dadjoked my mom

Me: "Did you hear about the kid that died today?"

Mom: "Aww, that's sad! What happened?"

Me: "He died of snow-verdose."

Mom: "...that was pathetic."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seto-Kaiba
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2014
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