Hey! Did you see that snail-shaped car with the letter S painted on it drive by?
Just look at that escargo.
Painted a Christmas card for a friend who hates puns....
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
I love snails so I painted the letter S all over my car
Now whenever I'm out driving, people point to my car and say: "Look at that S car go."
I painted my couch so you don't see it
Why do Swedish war ships have barcodes painted in the side?
So when they come in they can Scandinavian.
I once painted a picture of a man using fungus.
I thought it was a clever way to capture his licheness.
What do you call a cow with horns painted red?
I painted a German Shepherd
I went out today with half of my face painted like a clown.
Not everyone saw the funny side.
I painted a glorified pun
My first car was really small. I painted the letter s all over it.
Wherever I drove, people would say, “look at that little s-car go!”
What do you call a lion that painted on dots go become a leopard?
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
We just had our family portrait painted. I'm a little bummed.
Oil on canvas. Hehe (best part? It was painted with acrylic!)
Things got a little prickly and I painted this Cat-tus!
When I was in high school, our prank was to release pigs with 1,3 and 5 painted on them.
After looking for 2 and 4 like crazy they thought...... That's odd
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes painted on their hulls?
So that when they return to port, the authorities can Scandinavian
Some punk just spray-painted the word “wrong” on every floor in the Empire State Building.
That’s wrong on so many levels.
I heard "Starry Night" was painted with oils
I could use it to make my Van Go
My son painted six Easter eggs the colors of the infinity gems.
I told him he made an Egg-finity omelette.
I painted Paris with my eyes closed
I saw a street artist who painted gear shifts
I asked my wife, “Is it true that Michaelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back?”
Her: Yes.
Me: How did he reach the part between the shoulders?
5 snails were racing, all with the numbers painted on themselves.
The one in the 5th lane had a poorly drawn 5 on it and took off, faster than all the others. The crowd yelled out, look at that S-car go!
While my wife was asleep, I painted the seven deadly sins throughout her body.
When she found out, she had wrath written all over her face.
Why is aircraft painted?
To prevent it from looking plane.
I was trying to think of the artist who painted The Water Lily Pond.
But I just can't remember him for love nor Monet.
when asked why he exclusively painted with coffee, he said he just needed to espresso himself
Body shop asks the snail why he wants S’s painted all over his automobile
Snail says “so when I drive by people will say look at that s car go!”
My dad tried to prank me by loading the furnace with regular rocks that were painted black.
I got really mad at my son when he painted me.
I once had a Swedish girlfriend who told me her dad worked for the navy. He painted barcodes on the ships.
Because they Scandinavian.
I told my girlfriend she painted her eyebrows on too high...
I painted my computer black so it would run faster...
But now it doesn't work :(
One of my friends accidentally painted his wife with cheese twice yesterday.
That's right, he double gloucester.
How do you greet a painted, Asian styled statuette of a sea monster?
"What's crackalackin', you lacquered Kraken?"
I painted my dad's envelopes black
So when he sends them they'll be blackmail
What would happen if all the cars in the country were painted pink?
We’d have a pink car-nation.
My wife showed me a picture of a room with a tree painted on the wall...
We had been looking for ideas for a kids room.
She said "I can get behind this" (referring to the painting of the tree).
I said "you can? But, it's two dimensional..."
Painted toes
I got bored watching net flicks last weekend and painted my toes, I am a dude. A girl I climb with saw them.
Girl: You paint your toes better than I can.
Me: How can you possibly know that? You have never painted my toes.
Girl: ...
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