The grape. He was the only one who went raisin.
Because they are made to concentrate.
We haven't been able to extract the problem yet, but there will be a press conference shortly
He said he was bringing a pear.
You need to let that mango.
I added some fruit and orange juice—now she’s sangria than ever.
Students were asking about the impeachment news this morning, so I explained what it was about, then:
Me: I'm really confused about the whole process, though. I thought Trump wasn't peach, he's orange!
Edit: I understand the downvotes. This joke was low-hanging fruit.
NASHI here Scott, we don't need your PERSIMMON to PRODUCE puns. I ain't LIME-ing, fruit puns are hard. It's a GRAPE skill to have and not at all CORNy. If BANANA (you wanna) challenge us; that can be ORANGEd, however you SHALLOT be prePEARed for us. I can GUAVAntee we will not deal with you GINGERly; if you push, APPLE; (I pull) It's not like i'm speaking LEBANESE, CUCUMBERstand?
I myself am full of puns from my head TOMATOES, as you can KIWI (See, we) have been doing this longer than you, we never skip a BEET, our abilities just climb higher PAPAYA (and higher)?.
We don't CARROT all if you're upset by this, in fact it's about THYME we asked your mother on a DATE. So don't be a DILL, we've BEAN there and done that before. So be ready to LETTUCE give you something to cry about throws onion
So I'm having breakfast with my family and I'm eating some fruit. Its snowing pretty hard outside.
My dad says: I'm going to go snow shoeing soon. You should come. I have more than enough pairs.
And so I respond: Really? Because I don't see any pears; just bananas and oranges!
My father and I had to go to the grocery store to pick up some food the other day. When we get to the fruit section he asks me to grab some oranges. I walk over to the pile of oranges labeled "Naval oranges" so I point and ask if these are the right ones. With a smile on his face he responds "I prefer the Air Force oranges myself". Happy Father's Day dad, never stop!
(We just found out that we're expecting our first child, which made it all the more urgent for me to begin practicing my craft)
Gf writes up list.
On said list: "Some fruit like bananas."
Me: "So...did you want the strawberry-like bananas, the orange-like bananas, the grape-like bananas-
She rolled her eyes so hard they nearly got away.
I was eating breakfast with my parents at a hotel. It was a buffet style one. We were towards the end of the meal when this happened.
Dad: Did you see all the juices they had over there?
Me: Yeah, I went for orange.
Mom: Oooh do they have Passion Fruit and Guava juice? We could mix them and make POG.
Me: Nah, they had Cranberry, Orange, Apple, and Lemonade though; you could make COAL.
Dad: It's a good thing they didn't have Cranberry, Raspberry, Apple, and Pineapple. (He was already laughing at his own joke getting the last word out) ...Do you get it? (now in uncontrollable laughter)
Me: I could smell that one coming when you started it.
Mom groaned and pretended not to know us.
Asked my lady to pick me up some fruit from the store. She got me a container of mixed sliced fruit. I told her thanks and she said
"I also got some apples and oranges"
To which I replied: "Those just don't compare"
She looked at me with such malice in her eyes.
Was buying fruit with the girlfriend. She picked out some cripps pink apples. "Maybe we should be careful buying these. They might start a gang war with our blood oranges" Ziiing. She smiled, but I think I annoyed her by laughing about it for the rest of our shopping.
Because they are made to concentrate.
...you need to let that mango
