Oh. Well. Its the thought that counts.
Quoth the Raven, “Oh, bother.”
I couldn't think what present to get my wife for her birthday, so I asked her. With tears welling in her eyes, she replied, "oh darling, nothing would make me happier than some diamond earrings".
This summer when I was at the olympics I saw a man carrying a large pole so I asked: “Oh are you a pole vaulter?”
And he said “no I’m German but how did you know my name was Walter?”
A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "what do you want?" the man replies, "Oh, just some fruit punch" the bartender sighs and shakes his head, "if you want punch, you're gonna have to wait in line."
The man looks around, but there is no punchline.
Oh the tangled web we weave ...
Which Spice Girl has been the most successful? Oh my gourd, the answer is shocking!
Oh you’re a 90’s baby and feeling a little sad?
Those aren’t depression symptoms. Those are blues clues.
Somebody asked me who my favorite monster was? I said oh that’s easy, the vampire from Sesame Street.
They told me oh he doesn’t count, but I assure you he does.
Oh you must mean Covid, right?
Oh Well...When you're desperate....
We went to pick up our curbside grocery order, and the lady placing the bags in our trunk saw my son in his rear facing car seat. She said, "Oh my gosh, he's so cute! What's his name? Is he walking? Can he talk?"
I replied, "Those are pretty strange guesses. But no, his name is Raymond."
I forgot to post this on Pi Day. Oh well! The Argyle Sweater for 3/14/21
"oh, it's the DEATH dude..
Oh no! I cut my milk in half
Oh well, better not cry over split milk
Oh, I do say! I am quite the stone installer!
Oh Dad…
So my aunt sent Dad a picture of some donut peaches. He texted me said picture and underneath wrote:
Donut peaches? I bet their donut holes are pitiful.
Oh sorry, did my phone hurt you?
That's why my son said it has a cutting edge technology.
"The perfect TV crossover doesn't exi.. oh."
Oh geez it's late!
Lettuce go home...
said the salad
Oh how the tides have turned.
Oh how the turns have tabled
Me: Do you like the numerator or denominator more?
Dad: Numerator, why?
Me: I find myself divided between the two.
Oh damn guess I get to keep my tip
I asked my girlfriend if I could make her mine. "Yes! Oh, yes!" she shouted, eyes filling with tears. "Great!" I said.
"Now take this pick and go find me some gold!"
Oh! False One, You Have Deceiv'd Me
My wife looked at the baby monitor and said, "Oh, the baby is stirring."
I said, "Well, take away his spoon!"
Oh My Gourd! I Made These Gift Card Holders!
I was checking out at the grocery store today and the bagger was holding my stuff over the shopping cart and asked: “sir, would you like to go out with the cart?”. To which I replied “oh, no thanks I’m actually married”. My poor son looked mortified. Dad joke status ACHIEVED.
Her: What are you giggling about? Me: Oh, nothing...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
