A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. β€œFirst offender?” the judge asked.

β€œNo” she replied. β€œFirst a Gibson , then a Fender”

πŸ‘︎ 360
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Howard
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DefNotInTheOven
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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If you are offended by my dad jokes, don’t get mad and ask me to go to the artificial excavation filled with water.

I mean well.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaulFromTheParty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is six afraid of seven?

7 was a well known 6 offender

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HisokaLaMagician
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
People were offended when I told them a joke about oil.

They did not like my crude humor. I'll have to refine it.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Just a quick apology to those Take That fans I offended earlier.

Whatever I said, whatever I did I didn't mean it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was 4 afraid to ask out 5?

Because he was 2 squared.

πŸ‘︎ 879
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YeezyClaps
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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I love social media, I can offend thousands of people all at once...

Back in my day, I had to do it one at a time.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know what kind of shoes sex offenders normally wear?

Creepy white vans.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/legendary-jake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
You’re not going to offend anyone with jokes about legless cows.

The steaks are low.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/morsodo99
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a schizophrenic's favorite Christmas song?

Do You Hear What I Hear?

πŸ‘︎ 922
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TaurusGuy813
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of mountains offends the most feminists?

The HIMalayas!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oneguy4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9 but why did 7 eat 9?

Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.

πŸ‘︎ 189
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mari_kitsuro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Why is six afraid of seven

Because seven eight nine ( extremely bad joke I leant in kindergarten btw)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zellerzium
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Apparently everyone is offended by average jokes

Cos they're just too mean

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spikeratchet
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the bee dress as a ghost for Halloween?

***Because most people are offended at seeing Boo Bees! -My 10 yr old son

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jch308
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm offended too

What did the fence say when someone said something mean about him?

"That's offensive"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrCrazymanyt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
🚨︎ report
This is real lee getting out of hand
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/h3y0002
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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There's a company that offends people with adhd

It's called focus features

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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You shouldn't discriminate against first graders based on their age.

That's just sixist.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Griffy_42
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
An Indian woman offended me, so I cursed her to be reincarnated as a a garment worn by Hindu women.

She'll be sari!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Was so hekkin offended my bro in law put hose before bros 😑🀬
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mapherton
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Oh, so you get offended by Slav jokes?

Crimea river

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Willrocks650
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a convicted violet offender?

A perp hole.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bjornulf17
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are people with no legs so offended by jokes

Because they cant stand it

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GameBreaker75
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you see that guy destroying snacks at the grocery store?

I heard he's on the Chex offender list.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow who is vegetarian?

A vegeta-bull

Edit: It’s been brought up that I should’ve said bovine instead of cow. I definitely didn’t mean to offend anyone! I literally thought this stupid joke to myself while in the shower lol

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ellegirl82091
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Once I was in a yogurt shop minding my own business, when I heard a couple of women talking in an interesting accent at one of the nearby tables.

I glanced over and noticed that they were quite attractive. A little on the larger side, but that never stopped me before. So, yogurt cup in hand, I boldly approached their table.

β€œExcuse me,” I said, β€œI couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, and I noticed your lovely accents. Are you two ladies from Scotland by any chance?”

They immediately bristled at my question, obviously offended, and one of them snapped at me, β€œIt’s Wales!”

β€œNo offense intended,” I replied. β€œPlease allow me to try again...are you two whales from Scotland?”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schoonerw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
So I went to a costume party dressed as a harp.

The host says, β€œWhat are you dressed as?” I tell him, β€œI’m a harp.” He says, β€œBut your costume is to small to be a harp.” I was incredibly offended, and tell him, β€œAre you calling me a lyre?!”

πŸ‘︎ 771
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajicMan101
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Why was the neighbor offended

Coz, the next door neighbor put a fence around his house

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bollykeys
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
At Thanksgiving this year I’m going to try to not show my disdain for my Vegan relatives.

They hate it when you have a beef with them. And last year they seemed offended when I gave them the bird.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/4cml
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven was a registered six offender.

πŸ‘︎ 186
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ferventlycavalier
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?"

She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sardonicuis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman was on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection

the judge says: "First offender" The woman replies: "No, first a Gibson, the a Fender"

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is 6 afraid of 7

Because 7 is a registered sex offender

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterDistrict1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InterwebWeasel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/silentmage
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9 but why did 7 eat 9?

Because you're supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks her, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven was a "six" offender

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BGamerPop
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven was a registered six offender.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/God_Smith82
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A woman is on trial for beating up a unfaithful rockstar husband with his guitar collection

The judge asked her, β€œfirst offender” β€œNo,” she says β€œfirst a Gibson then a Fender

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report

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