Nah seems OAK-kay
π︎ 365
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︎ May 20 2021
I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 24 2020
What kind of tree is the best for blocking water?
π︎ 336
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︎ Mar 29 2021
My friend just bought breast implants made of Oak.
It seems like that would be uncomfortable, wooden tit?
π︎ 16
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︎ Sep 27 2020
The spelling mistake adze nothing.
π︎ 48
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︎ Apr 05 2021
Whenever someone asks me if I prefer maples, elms, or oaks, my response is always the same:
"It's not a poplar tree contest."
π︎ 11
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︎ Jul 19 2020
Why donβt trees use the train?
They can never find a root.
π︎ 4
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︎ May 09 2021
I asked my dad to simply explain what an acorn is.
He said, "It's an oak tree, in a nutshell."
π︎ 14
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︎ Apr 24 2021
For six days of the week, I appreciate oak trees.
The other day? That's a firs day.
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 15 2020
What did the oak tree drop?
π︎ 8
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︎ Jul 22 2020
Why didnβt the oak tree talk to anyone?
It didnβt want to dialogue.
π︎ 27
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︎ Apr 12 2020
What do you call an arborist who has no money?
π︎ 7
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︎ Apr 16 2021
My dad pulled this one out after I said "we want oak floors"
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 15 2019
Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?
In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.
π︎ 144
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︎ Dec 03 2020
What did professor oak say before he got into a fight
π︎ 5
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︎ Apr 24 2019
I dropped my phone and found it under an oak.
I guess the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 16 2019
Personally I prefer Oak on October 10th (punchline in post)...
Cause I 10/10 wood recommend.
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 10 2019
I've heard they can now make breast implants out of oak
Surely that'd be really painful, wooden tit?
π︎ 8
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︎ Aug 22 2019
Have you heard about the women that got oak breast implants?
This joke would have been better with a punch line, wooden tit.
π︎ 21
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︎ Dec 21 2018
I live in an old neighborhood with a 100 year old oak tree. One day every year, all the kids in the neighborhood put all their boy/girl scout badges on the tree. One day, I wonder why the kids do this. So, I called up my dad to ask him, and he said...
"Oh, it's just a badge oak."
π︎ 47
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︎ Oct 21 2017
When I was little, we went to an outdoor lecture featuring the original cast of Star Trek. I was especially excited to see Bones. Unfortunately, we were seated toward the side of the amphitheater, where huge oaks had been planted to frame the stage.
As a result, I couldn't see DeForest through the trees
π︎ 8
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︎ Jul 24 2018
Watch out for that big oak tree over there...
π︎ 14
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︎ Jun 14 2018
Me, at a fancy restaurant: This wine is smooth, a little citrusy, with a mild touch of oak.
Waiter; Sir, you are drinking 7up.
π︎ 13
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︎ Dec 28 2017
So I my son started to bark at me
Kept on insisting that I had promised to build him a treehouse but I don't remember evergreening this elm of a contract.
Though he kept inisisting I had birch the agreement due to the long delay but my attempt to confern the fertility of the spruce was in roots. Now I have to oak up and face the spruce. My weekend has been soiled and I now have to maple my son's treehouse whilst I willow my day away. Although... Now that I twig about it, having a treehouse in my yard sounds like a pine idea.
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 14 2020
What is Lil Jonβs favourite type of wood for bbq?
π︎ 2
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︎ Sep 03 2020
What do you call a penguin with a bow tie and a golden oak leaf?
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 15 2017
What did the acorn say when it grew up?
π︎ 20
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︎ Apr 10 2020
Trees celebrating this month as
π︎ 10
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︎ Oct 01 2020
How long does it take to chop down a tree in Japan?
π︎ 6
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︎ Apr 11 2020
What did the baby oak say to the daddy oak?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 25 2016
We imported a tree from Canada.
π︎ 55
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︎ Dec 29 2019
I WOOD like to see that
π︎ 494
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︎ Mar 22 2019
I asked my friend what an acorn was
He replied, "it's basically a small oak tree, in a nutshell."
π︎ 66
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︎ Apr 13 2020
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 13 2019
Three Dad Jokes on the way to school this morning.
So, we're driving up a tree-lined street where people often have wedding/family photos taken. It's lined with live oaks and is pretty beautiful. That prompted this conversation.
12 y/o daughter: Why do people sometimes get their wedding photos taken on train tracks? That doesn't make sense.
Me: Because they choo-choose to? [with a debt to Ralphie Wiggam]
6 y/o daughter (Loud groan): Papi, that's a terrible joke.
Me: So you think you could engineer a better one if I train you?
12 y/o: Dad why do you always make these awful jokes?
Me: Because I've got loco motives!
At that point I started laughing so hard I couldn't come up with anymore.
π︎ 3k
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︎ Jan 26 2015
A tree surgeonβs girlfriend broke up with him.
He pined fir her fir months.
Knock on wood, they will someday get back together.
(Sorry, this joke wasnβt great... just oak-kay.)
π︎ 9
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︎ Feb 09 2019
It's a shame there aren't more jokes for arborists...
I guess they aren't a very poplar.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 03 2019
What is an Acorn?
In a nut shell, it's an oak tree
π︎ 60
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︎ May 31 2019
What kind of tree isnβt financially stable?
π︎ 38
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︎ Jun 17 2019
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
π︎ 10
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︎ Dec 06 2019
Imagine if there were oak breast implants...
That would be awful, wooden tit?
π︎ 12
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︎ May 03 2019
Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?
In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.
π︎ 45
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?
In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.
π︎ 148
π
︎ Nov 16 2019
Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?
In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Nov 19 2019
Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?
In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 05 2019
Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?
In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 09 2019
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