Miss4 says βif they are not holes, what are they?β
Its top-notch
He came highly rectal-mended
Every hole's a goal
Turns out it's just a waste of thyme.
I told her I didn't feel like it and said she should take it to the car wash they have a free vacuum there. She got upset and said " I already did those things suck"
Without missing a beat I said "of course they do, they are vacuums." She stared at my blankly. I laughed ... And laughed she rolled her eyes and my wife congratulated me on a top notch dad joke.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
Looking at photos of our escapades from earlier in the day my boy friend comments on his new experimental man bun.
Me: "It looks top knot...ch to me."
On vacation in Cape May in New Jersey, and there is a bar called the Rusty Nail. Conversation went like this: Me: "Oh look the Rusty Nail" Dad: "Yeah let's go get HAMMERED at the Rusty Nail!" Heard the sighs from inside the bar.
You can't deny it had a top notch screen.
Heβs a top-notch curry-er.
I'm running an email distro list and have to include a pun every week related to Muay Thai. Can you guys help me with some suggestions? I'm really running out of steam after a couple of months on.
So I heard Minecraft recently passed Fortnite as most searched game.
Whoever made the game must have really brought it up a Notch.
Well, he's Notch.
Notch your average phone.
I was in a hunting store with my dad and there was a pretty nice sale on some bows there. I was chit-chatting with the cashier and said, "Man, these sales are making me quiver." The cashier thought it was the funniest thing ever :D
Top Notch
I only made this so I didn't have to comment on hundreds of posts, so delete if you want to, mods. I found you glorious bastards literally seconds ago. These puns are absolutely top-notch. Keep up the good work you guys!
TOP NOTCH
He and I are constantly messaging/texting each other puns/dad jokes all the time, so he decided to take it up a notch for Christmas: http://i.imgur.com/adLQdap.jpg
EDIT: The bag is sugar by the way. Guess who's bringing in lemonade after the weekend.
Dad: did ya know you can't share nachos? Me: no (trying to kill what I knew was to come) Dad: ask me why? Me: <sigh> why can't you share nachos? Dad: Because they're MINE, notch yos! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I miss you, Daddy <3
Before I was born my parents lived in Philadelphia. My mom was about 7 months along when they were referred by a friend of a friend to this pediatrician who was top notch. They were on their way for the first visit to the new doctors and they were running late. They walked into a crowded waiting room and went to the front glass and checked in. The secretary started yelling at my mother and father saying this is Dr. so and so, he is a top class physician, people wait years to get on his waiting list, AND YOU'RE LATE!
And my father goes "OF COURSE SHES LATE THATS HOW YOU END UP AT A PEDIATRICIAN'S OFFICE!"
Even the secretary cracked a smile as everyone else groaned and laughed.
Me: "The cinematography for this show really is top notch." Her: "No babe, it's Top Gear."
