No eclipse it.
Actual dad joke told during the lunar eclipse this morning.
....except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.
It was the wurst case scenario.
How do the Orcas know how to hunt together?
They must orca-strate it.
Groans from around the room.
It was all over the town.
Avalanches won by a landslide.
Vacuum cleaners have been gathering dirt on us for years.
Wife: probably just allergies, the air is full of pollen
Me: I guess you could say I’m snotty by nature
He's counter intuitive
Its natural beauty was unpresidented
...except the paperfish, which is supposed to be even more superior.
What do you call a naturally born smart person?
A gene-ious
He had a reptile dysfunction.
I mean just look at the trees, they're re-leaf-ed.
Naturally: he was born earlier
Guess you could call that the work of Natural Selection!
They always miss the point.
Cause there clawfaul
..play by the Rouxs.
That's why I used it indoors
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
It makes people uncomfortable when they see you mask debating in public.
It was just a Lye
..or does it just take time to develop ?
No, pigs do that!
I could do it with my eyes closed.
was unpresidented.
