Nature Trail Puns

Because they go fucking-everywhere! When you eat them.

Trail mix!

One day a father and son got recruited into this race where they had to overcome a challenge: build a small toy boxcar that is only powered by an animal. It would be them and another team. The other team was lucky, they had hamsters as pets so naturally chose those. All this son and father had were fish and some small snails.

They got to designing and the irony of using snails for a fast car was not lost on them but they persevered. They discovered that the race track would be down the town hill. They got thinking and discovered that the slime trail the snails left was quite slick so they decided they would grease the cars axles with the slime and it was phenomenal how fast their car would go but they still doubted it would beat the other team. After all they had hamsters AND gravity.

The day of the race came and they saw that the other team had hooked up their hamster wheel to the axels and dangled some lettuce in front. Oh how fast those hamsters ran! Disappointment hung heavy on the father and son but they continued to apply those snails to the axles. The officials came by and marked the racers: an H for hamster and an S for snail. People placed bets and sniggered at how easy of a bet it was. Everybody held chips marked H for the clear winner except the father and son who held seemingly the only S tokens in the crowd. Still the father and son applied those snails to those axles on that S-marked racer.

The time of the race had come! The pistol shot and the cars went. H was in the lead easily right after the pistol. After all, hamsters are excellent accelerators. But something miraculous happened. At the very last moment S caught up, the snail slime finally working it's magic. In the last 50 feet it seemed the snails would win! As they gained and gained the father and son began jumping and whooping and as the snails and the hamsters approached within throwing distance of the finish line the son couldn't contain his excitement and yelled out

"S Car, Go!"

I work at a Nature Park, and today I was working a display about Newts. A family comes up to the display to check out the newts after they had completed a hike through the park. I say hi and tell them a little about newts and how this is the time of year that you start to really see them out on the trails.

Me: So did you guys see any newts while you were out on your hike?

Dad of the family: No, but we were looking more for bolts than newts.