You do know that modern appliances are really spying on us, and sending back data on our habits. In fact..
Vacuum cleaners have been gathering dirt on us for years.
I am like a modern day Zeus....
I am not strong or godlike I am just constantly horny.
My friends asked me to stop singing Modern Love by David Bowie
I've decided to switch careers to study modern female rappers.
I think my parents will be so proud when they learn I'm a Cardi-B-ologist.
The founder of modern study.
What do you call the ancestors of the modern day scissors?
What's the modern way to donate to the church?
A man recently ran up to me announcing that he was a primary color, then instructed me to perform a modern dance trend on the fourth letter of the alphabet and food coloring.
He said "I'm blue, dab a D, dab a dye".
Did you hear the Journal of Modern Medicine rejected an article about Midol?
The editor said it was not current at all, but more of a period piece!
A very young lemon strolled into an underground metro station, buying and enjoying a coffee, chatting with other fruits and eventually riding on a nice, modern train.
One could say it was a sub-lime experience.
The Titanic II is a modern-day replica of the RMS Titanic and is scheduled to set sail in 2022. It's creators do not believe it will relive the tragedy of it's predecessor because
that was an ice-olated incident.
Albert Einstein created many concepts for modern physics.
His brother, Frank, however, created a monster.
What do you call a modern Indian restaurant?
My cat has opinions about Chinese history. I asked him who their best leader in modern history is:
Modern problems require modern solutions.
A pirate is transported to modern day and stumbles upon a lumber mill while looking for work. When the pirate is asked if he knows how to use any of the tools...
Modern problems require Indian solutions
There's a new rap artist who combines a modern hip hop sound with 80s retro pop.
I can only imagine the frustration behind the making of modern Looney Tunes shows.
There has to be a lot of Bugs in the programs they use.
Ted Talk -Ted Bundy- Unlocking Necrophilia and its implications in modern society.
Eventually, we’re all doomed to end up in super modern offices where the walls are whiteboards
The writing is on the wall
My son said he wanted Modern Warfare for his birthday.
So I told him to try and get on an underground train during rush hour.
What do you call a modern bee from America?
What do you call a Swede that doesn't like modern music?
Bjorn in the wrong generation.
Apparently modern feminism wants nothing to do with guys who are over six feet
My wife makes art by spending hours painting dots on a canvas to create shapes, she calls it modern art
A Modern Art Masterpiece.
Modern Joke
I want to get my buddy a good present but all I can find is a painting that has a prostitute saying, "1, 2, 3, 4..." and I don't think he'll like it, but my friend said, "It's the thot that counts".
How do you spot a modern spider?
How do modern Spartans cook fries?
Modern grammar Nazis: the alt-write
Me telling a historian about modern day doorbells
Me: "Have you heard of modern doorbell chimes?"
Historian: "Doesn't ring a bell"
What do you call modern Scottish art?
Despite modern trends, my wife, Christine, took my name when we were married.
I'm still getting used to calling her David.
At the museum, I turned to the attendant and said, “I suppose this horrible thing is what you call Modern Art, right!”
Attendant: Sir, that’s a mirror.
A modern man tries to take a women from the Stone Age on a date.
She wanted to go see a rock and roll concert but since he was cheap he took her for granite.
Modern technology has never matched the simplicity and grace of the traditional pen.
In fact, there is still no e-quill.
What does the transport of large river-dwelling mammals have in common with the father of modern medicine?
They're both Hippocrates.
Modern supercars are mostly made of carbon
In 1902 Willis Carrier invented the first modern air conditioner
What do modern day undead use for money?
Crypt-o-currency; Vampires specifically like bit-coin.
I didn't use to have much faith in modern medicine...
but then I had to undergo emergency brain surgery and it really changed my mind.
i think the modern razor
is cutting edge technology
What do you call a Swede that doesn't like modern music?
Bjorn in the wrong generation.
What do you call a Swede that doesn't like modern music?
Bjorn in the wrong generation.
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