That's mine pun
If you open your mind to the wind, you will be mind blown
A buddy of mine named his dog “5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles
But today he ran over 5 Miles
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can't part with it.
A friend of mine just said to me “I’m training to be garbage man”
I said “You don’t need training for that! You just pick it up as you go along”
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 5 year old son wasn't actually mine.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
So I’m at dinner with the fam, telling the joke about what the kid with no arms got for Christmas (we still don’t know because he hasn’t opened them yet)...I set it up...a friend of mine at work has a kid...no arms...and deliver the punchline...
And my 10 year old son, completely deadpan, tells me
‘Dad, I knew that story wasn’t real because you don’t have any friends’
👻👻💀💀☠️☠️ It took me a solid 5 minutes to stop laughing.
I have achieved Dad level 10 at raising my kids
How does one mine for data?
There were no mines in Soviet Russia
A friend of mine needs skin grafts for surgery, but thankfully, he doesn't need donors.
That's no skin off of my nose!
Not mine just wanted to share some funny stuff
A friend of mine just died from eating too many herbs
A friend of mine cut his finger off at work...
I suppose he'll be getting severance pay.
A friend of mine just named their child Geneva.
It’s rather too conventional for me...
An old mine shaft collapsed on a bunch of workers the other day.
But it’s okay, they only suffered miner injuries.
I work in a sauce factory and saw an old friend of mine
I walked over to him and said, " Hey! haven't seen you in a really long time! Let's Ketchup!"
There was an accident at the coal mine
Nothing too serious, just some miner damage
Not mine but a good pun user who made this deserves rewards
Image belongs to cyanide and happiness it's not mine but thought you would enjoy it.
Why are there no cafes in mines?
Because coffee should never be made under-ground.
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
its not mine but i found this and thought it was good so i am sharing it
So I started dating an OBGYN that said her job was more dangerous than mine.
So I asked what her riskiest encounter was. She said she did not know, but she learned early to give mothers with fat babies a wide berth.
THE LAND MINE WAS A....
GROUND BREAKING DISCOVERY
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
A friend of mine does not know how to spell the word "Christmas".
He just knows it has no L.
Not mine: Where do you take someone injured in a Peek-a-Boo accident?
A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing.
He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
A friend of mine was in the band mood but I had a list of 10 puns to try to cheer him up.
Forgive my brain, but I felt the urge to share this baby of mine
A friend of mine brought a hen to a kegger but was thrown out
Turns out he committed party fowl
What note do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft.
This isn’t mine and I don’t know who made it, but it’s been on my phone for so many years and I haven’t seen it on here yet. I hope you all love it as much as I do.
Mine would just say "I'm glad you enjoyed my free Willy and we had a whale of a time, but we need to sea otter whales."
A coworker of mine told me that eating fertilizer cured him of COVID-19
but i bet he was just full of crap.
A buddy of mine likes taking pictures of salmon in clothes
He says he likes shooting fish in apparel
A friend of mine didn't pay for his daughter's exorcism
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
A friend of mine always carries around a scale with him no matter where he goes. Anytime he meets a new person named William he throws them right on the scale. So one day I finally asked, "why do you keep doing this?" He replied.
"because where there's a Will there's a weigh."
Just found this store by chance called Ollie’s. Aside from all the great liquidation sales, the walls are a pun gold mine! I felt it be a crime not to post pictures of it on here.
reddit.com/gallery/iij3ts
I was devastated this afternoon, when my wife said my 5 year old son wasn't mine...
She said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
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