Million Dollar Puns

A list of puns related to "Million Dollar"

My friend called me and said he lost the million dollar prize because he couldn't think of a neighbor to Saudi Arabia...

I said, "Oman!"

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Jan 14 2021
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I won a million dollars

I didn't even spend a penny because i had to wake up and pee

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👤︎ u/Slymood
📅︎ Jun 27 2020
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What do you call a million dollar idea?

An idEA

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👤︎ u/I-Reeddit
📅︎ Mar 25 2020
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Did you hear about the Franciscan Friar who inherited 30 million dollars?

He was an heir friar.

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👤︎ u/archangel09
📅︎ Jan 21 2020
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I asked God, “How long is a million years?” He said, “A minute.” I asked God, “How much is a million dollars?” He said, “A penny.” So I asked God for a penny and he said.,,

“In a minute.”

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👤︎ u/labink
📅︎ Mar 16 2020
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I won a million dollars playing the lottery and donated a quarter of it to my favorite charity.

What should I do with the remaining $999,999.75?

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👤︎ u/skol_vkings
📅︎ Oct 22 2019
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My brother won 5 million dollars on the lottery, then promptly spent it all on a solid gold, jewel-encrusted garbage can.

What a waste!

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👤︎ u/incenseandelephants
📅︎ Oct 31 2019
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I was so happy when I won 765 million dollars, I donated a quarter of it to charity.

I don't know what I'll do with the rest of the $764,999,999.75 though.

Edited

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👤︎ u/Anthonybrose
📅︎ Jun 14 2019
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I went on Deal or No Deal hoping to win a million dollars.

But that turned out to be not the case.

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👤︎ u/GinormousPenguin
📅︎ Aug 02 2019
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What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?

a gorillanaire

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👤︎ u/MildBanana
📅︎ Apr 17 2019
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I’m working on making my second million dollars

I gave up on the first

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👤︎ u/oinkmoomeow
📅︎ Apr 13 2019
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What do you call a lizard with a million dollars?

A chamillionaire

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👤︎ u/NickWilde992
📅︎ Apr 17 2019
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Her: You’re such a liar! You said you have between 10 and 15 million dollars.

Him: I didn’t lie. I have 25 bucks.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Sep 23 2018
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Did you hear about the guy who hid millions of dollars in his washing machines?

He was arrested for money laundering.

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👤︎ u/BitchyPolice
📅︎ Nov 26 2018
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NEWS reporter “Australian border security caught teens trying to import 400 million dollars worth of ice”

Dad “if I knew ice was worth that much I’d put more in the fridge”

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👤︎ u/Imakehamforalivin
📅︎ Dec 14 2018
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The first million people to send me a million dollars, will get a copy of my guide.

Of how to become a millionaire from Reddit.

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👤︎ u/StevenBosc
📅︎ Aug 12 2018
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Paul Manafort has been charged with laundering millions of dollars

My God with that kind of money, you could man a fort!

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👤︎ u/Merlord
📅︎ Oct 30 2017
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What's the first thing you'd do with a million dollars?

I'd buy a new butt cause mine has a crack in it.

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👤︎ u/damnitjake
📅︎ Jan 06 2017
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Breaking news, Ai WeiWei's million dollar vessel broken.

Jar dropping news.

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👤︎ u/TheWhaleMan
📅︎ Feb 20 2014
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What my dad would do with a million dollars.

Kid me: Hey dad what would you do with a million dollars? Dad: I'd get a new butt, because mine's got a big crack in it!

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👤︎ u/100Dollar_Bill
📅︎ Dec 04 2013
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I'm working on my second million dollars.

The first million just didn't work out.

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👤︎ u/PulledOverAgain
📅︎ Feb 05 2017
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