Hey wanna know a billionaires kryptonite?

Antimony!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Steelalloy
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I said to my friend: "I wish I was a billionaire, just like my dad..."

My friend said "Whoa, your dad was a billionaire?"

I said "no, he also wished he was..."

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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What's the first thing you should do tomorrow if you wake up a billionaire?

Apologize profusely

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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Why did the billionaire donate to the furniture?

He was feeling charitable

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poriferan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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Why did the evil billionaire build his own SeaWorld?

Merely for entertainment porpoises.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jty87
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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Warren Buffet (self-made billionaire) holds an annual conference for aspiring entrepreneurs.

When they go to lunch during the conference, they eat from the β€œBuffett Buffet.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/realmattmoseley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the billionaire not marry the hot young kitten?

He wanted to avoid a cat-as-trophy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hot_pokkits
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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My dad became a billionaire by selling devices to shut ducks up...

Bill gates.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WideEyedWand3rer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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How many billionaires does it take to make a superhero

How many billionaires does it take to make a superhero 3 two to die and one to never get over it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexplier
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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My wife made me a millionaire

Granted I was a billionaire before I met her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dytgf
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Daughter: fails exam

Mom: dear, remember, the road to success is paved with failure!

Dad: well, the road to failure is paved with failure as well!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dray_son
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Got the perfect title for the 10th fast and furious movie.

Fast 10: your seatbelts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Synergy_synner
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
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Coworker: You shouldn't browse Reddit while at work.

Coworker: You shouldn't browse Reddit while at work.

Me: Do you know who my grandpa is? He is a billionaire.

Coworker: So what?

Me: He was a miner, then he mined his own business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eonyang
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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Dad Joked my mom

Watching the news when they mentioned billionaire Harold Hamm's divorce settlement, and it showed the check he wrote his wife. My mom said she'd never seen a check that big, when I replied "It's a normal size check, it's just on a large screen..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jomajorsh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2015
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My 8-year-old made up this gem today, he’ll make a great dad some day!

Who’s the smelliest billionaire in the world? Elon MUSK!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thumthing
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
🚨︎ report

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