Studying Chemistry at the moment, I just learned that Sulphuric acid should never be left in a metal beaker..
..It's an oxidant waiting to happen.
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︎ Aug 19 2020
Harry Houdini was allergic to the metal they used to make handcuffs...
Every time they put a pair on him, he'd break out.
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︎ Aug 12 2020
I ordered some big metal letters.
I wanted to make a sign that said "YOU & ME". So, I ordered some big metal letters.
When they arrived, the box was very damaged. I checked if everything was there, but the iron E was lost on me.
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︎ Aug 15 2020
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out...it was a safe purchase.
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︎ Jul 17 2020
Work pun regarding a dewar (large metal tank used for liquid nitrogen)
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︎ Jul 16 2020
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
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︎ Jul 20 2020
Hi a huge metal fan, I'm dad
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︎ Jun 09 2020
The Three States of Metal Gear.
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︎ Jun 18 2020
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
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︎ Jul 29 2020
Huge metal fan!
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︎ Jun 07 2020
Mike Tyson gifted little metal cups to his friends...
When they asked what it meant, he said it was a thimble of friendship!
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︎ Jun 05 2020
Iβm not into Metal Bands....
...just into Rubber Bands!
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︎ Jun 24 2020
"My ex couldn't name a single metal band from the 80s."
"Slayer?"
"No, I just shook my head."
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︎ Jul 01 2020
A huge metal fan
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︎ Nov 25 2019
What kind of music frightens balloons?
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︎ Aug 09 2020
Our church just replaced our giant wood pulpit for a smaller metal pulpit that is equally heavy.
We are now a heavy metal church.
We will be introducing Black Sabbath to our worship set soon.
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︎ Jun 14 2020
My son wanted to go on the metal slide at the park today, it was 38Β°c
I told him that was suislide
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︎ Jun 06 2020
Went to a German dentist convention where they wanted donations of metals.
I told them βNein, out of tin.β Dentists agreed.
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︎ Jun 04 2020
Metal fan
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︎ Oct 12 2019
My friend called me to say that heβs starting a new Metal band called Spinal Column.
I said, βCan I call you Back?β
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︎ Apr 10 2020
What did one metal say to it's crush?
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︎ May 28 2020
Rusted Metal!
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︎ Feb 18 2020
How did Metallica get such a heavy metal sound?
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︎ Apr 16 2020
I saw a documentary on how metal plates are fixed
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︎ May 10 2020
There is a punk-metal band called Pangea what is it called when the band breaks up?
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︎ May 05 2020
What do metals call their friends
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︎ Mar 05 2020
You know, not everyone can preserve perishable goods inside metallic containers
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︎ Apr 21 2020
There are reports that, because of the covid outbreak, Rick Astley is hoarding copies of a 2009 Pixar film, and all albums by a southern metal band from New Orleans. He is not allowing anyone to borrow them. It's also said that Mr. Astley is refusing to go out and purchase cake for others.
To summarize:
He's never gonna give you Up
Never gonna lend you Down
Never gonna run around, and dessert you.
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︎ Mar 23 2020
Trash metal, anyone?
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︎ Dec 30 2019
Metal Music Joke
What do you call a rock band that hates nail clippers?
Nine-Inch Nails.
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︎ Apr 18 2020
Thereβs a guy in a European airport, and he sees a man carrying a ten foot metal pole. He asks the guy, βAre you a pole vaulter?β
The man says, βActually, Iβm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?β
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︎ Apr 03 2020
The metal hooks tied to my rope broke.
I'm having a hard time grappling with this.
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︎ Apr 03 2020
Where does steel wool come from?
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︎ Aug 09 2020
A heavy metal fan was diagnosed with coronavirus
Heβs down with the sickness
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︎ Mar 09 2020
Three of my high school's percussionists were all involved in a torrid affair regarding the geometric shaped piece of metal...
It was an odd love triangle...
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︎ Apr 14 2020
Metal Heads
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︎ Jan 31 2020
How do metal workers like their steak cooked?
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︎ Mar 03 2020
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
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︎ Feb 07 2020
I just finished reading a book on the history of metal fasteners.
I have to say it was absolutely riveting.
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︎ Jan 07 2020
Someone keeps putting very thin sheet metal around my garden...
They keep foiling my plot!
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︎ Mar 01 2020
I remember the first time I bolted two things together with metal fasteners.
That was a riveting experience.
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︎ Jan 28 2020
What's a chameleon's favorite metal?
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︎ Feb 13 2020
I like my coffee like I like my slaves
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︎ Jul 28 2020
Hi huge metal fan, I'm dad
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︎ Nov 17 2019
Metal
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︎ Sep 05 2019
Heavy metal band
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︎ Nov 02 2019
Whatβs the most metallic form of humor?
None, humor canβt be metallic. What, were you expecting βironyβ?
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︎ Feb 24 2020
So I went to my barber and told him "Instead of using scissors, use this old 80s hair metal band CD".
That is how I got my MΓΆtley CrΓΌe cut.
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︎ Jan 20 2020
Whatβs a death metal singerβs favorite cheese?
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︎ Jan 02 2020
Arsenic, cadmium, and lead decided to start a band.
They were a heavy metal group.
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︎ Aug 10 2020
I fought a man with metal hands.
I couldn't defeat him, he was too heavily armed.
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︎ Jan 23 2020
I liked this a little too much, had to steel it.
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︎ Jun 02 2020
Tee hee
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︎ Jan 30 2020
Dad picked up some cadmium, osmium, and lead
*Dad is hammering around in the garage*
Son: Whatcha doing?
Dad: I'm thinking about playing in heavy metal band
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︎ Aug 12 2020
One wind turbine asks the other one βwhat kind of music do you like?β
The other one says βIβm a heavy metal fan.β
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︎ Jul 19 2020
Itβs good music
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︎ Dec 31 2019
Did you hear of that fake metal that was fraudulently sold to companies as "steel"? It turned out to be an alloy mostly made up of tin. Guess you can call it FORGED steel
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︎ Nov 26 2019
I went up to a wind turbine. I asked it if it enjoyed music.
It said yeah. Iβm a big metal fan.
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︎ Aug 12 2020
My girlfriend can't stand the tap water. She says it tastes too metallic.
I think she just has a strong sense of iron-y.
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︎ Dec 10 2019
Metal
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︎ Sep 30 2019
Death Metal
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︎ Sep 20 2019
What do you call a smart metal guitarist?
An intellidjent guitarist!
Djent is pronounced like "gent" btw
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︎ Jan 13 2020
[REQUEST] I'll get straight to the point, I need a knife pun
As the title says, I need a pun that involves two unlikely friends. Knives and Charity/donations.
Any help would be appreciated!
Knife to be here in this community
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︎ May 19 2020
What do you call a metal religious woman?
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︎ Jan 13 2020
Metal fan
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︎ Oct 11 2019
Have you heard the joke about the gold metalic woven fabric?
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︎ Dec 23 2019
I made a metal friend today
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︎ Aug 01 2019
Thatβs sew metal
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︎ Oct 09 2019
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
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︎ Jun 12 2020
A plastic bucket vs. a metal bucket . . .
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︎ Oct 07 2019
Have you heard the joke about the steel rod ?
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︎ Jul 14 2020
This Metal Gear Solid pun
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︎ Oct 16 2019
When a coin goes from Russia to the USA seeking asylum it is Metal Defecting.
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︎ Dec 09 2019
I was told a story about combining two pieces of metal.
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︎ Nov 16 2019
You know what really grinds my gears?
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︎ Jul 19 2020
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︎ Oct 17 2019
A huge metal fan
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︎ Aug 14 2019
Windmill number 1 asked windmill number 2 βwhat kind of music do you listen to?β Windmill 2 responded βIβm a huge metal fanβ
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︎ Sep 09 2019
Recently, monkeys escaped from an animal testing lab and broke into the adjacent chemistry lab. Some ingested potassium metal and exploded.
There were Rhesus pieces everywhere.
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︎ Nov 04 2019
That's some heavy metal
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︎ Aug 16 2019
Yuge Metal Fan
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︎ Aug 14 2019
When you like running and metal
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︎ Nov 27 2018
The metal detector beeped when the guard was checking me. He asked me if I had any metallic stuff with me, I said:
No...it just beeped because my Shirt is Ironed.
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︎ Sep 12 2019
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road
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︎ Sep 23 2019
A gardener said, "I just finished producing some beets, who wants to check them out?"
The cabin replied, "I only play house music."
The windmill said, "not me, I'm a heavy metal fan."
The backhoe said, "I just dig rock."
The plastic baggie said, "I do, I'm a wrapper!"
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︎ Jun 04 2020
My mom is a metalurgist
I asked her the other day: "Which metal do you prefer to work with? Gold or silver?"
She said: "Either ore."
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︎ Jun 29 2020
What's a windmill's favourite genre of music?
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︎ Jun 18 2020
I watched an interesting documentary about how to fasten two sheets of metal together.
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︎ Aug 21 2019
We were walking down the street, when a group of black metal musicians approached us.
My friend turned to me and quipped, "Oh oh! Here comes treble!"
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︎ Oct 24 2019
A plastic bucket vs. a metal bucket . . .
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︎ Sep 26 2019
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