Messi leaving his team
Seems like a messy situation to be in.
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︎ Aug 26 2020
When asked whether his former coach liked artificially flavored sugary soft drinks, Lionel Messi replied
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Why did the actor always have messy hair?
He couldnβt get a good part.
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︎ Jun 20 2020
I found a new bread recipe where you donβt have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
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︎ Apr 16 2019
What do you have when you accidentally sit on yogurt?
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︎ Jan 06 2021
No matter how much messy you are
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︎ Dec 23 2019
Did you guys see that Lionel Messi was detained in Barcelona with a duffel bag full of drugs?
Theyβre calling him Methi now
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︎ Jan 29 2020
Why was the poker player's closet messy?
Because he never wanted to fold
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︎ Mar 18 2019
My attempt at juggling 3 cans of beans resulted in a messy kitchen,
in Heinz sight, it was a bad idea.
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︎ Jan 29 2019
Why are basketball players messy eaters?
Because theyβre always dribbling.
Terrible joke #2 brought to you by my six year old.
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︎ Dec 17 2018
Did you hear about the messy life story of a statistician...?
...it had a scattered plot
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︎ Jun 11 2018
Daughter (watching football) - Dad, is Messi in Argentina?
Me : Yes, itβs quite messy there.
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︎ Mar 03 2019
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︎ Jul 06 2018
You know youβve made a terrible joke when you make the math teacher completely lose it.
Teacher: βIf acceleration is constant, we get all these really nice formulas. If acceleration is not constant, the math gets messy.β
Me: βYou might say that for ruining the math, itβs being a jerk.β
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︎ Jun 26 2020
Who is the world's best, but un-tidiest, football player?
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Messy divorce
After a messy divorce, a man turns to his lawyer and says "Wow, That was wife changing"
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︎ Jun 30 2017
They really are, arenβt they?
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︎ Nov 05 2019
I'm going out with a group of friends from OCD anonymous tonight.
Things aren't gonna get messy.
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︎ Jun 06 2020
What do you call an infant with messy hair?
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︎ Feb 23 2017
My daughters face was messy from a candy bar.
I said " you've got choc-lips ".
Didn't get a groan but she did do a deadpan courtesy laugh.
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︎ Mar 09 2016
A messy dad joke.
My 10 year old: Dad, your hair is so messy.. You need to hair cut...
Me: Yeah, my hair is so messy that it's good at Soccer.
My 10 year old: Dad, I hate you!!!
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︎ Aug 04 2016
I work for a software company with a lot of programmers and the bathroom gets pretty messy...
There's way too much log spam.
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︎ Jan 14 2016
Who is the most unclean soccer player?
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︎ Dec 22 2019
Why is the Barcelona goal keeper always cleaning up?
Because his teammate is a little Messi
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︎ Mar 04 2020
I was once a man trapped in a woman's body.
And then my mother gave birth.
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︎ May 29 2017
Know what my kids' bedroom and soccer player Lionel have in common?
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︎ Oct 24 2019
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
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︎ May 21 2019
Why do soccer fans have problems with their parents?
Their room is very Messi.
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︎ Oct 18 2019
Who do mice pray to?
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︎ May 18 2018
Germany was so Klose, now they Gotze it.
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︎ Jul 13 2014
My mom asked my dad to check the bacon
Mom: check the bacon in the oven
Dad: still bacon!
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︎ Nov 03 2013
I was sitting in the toilet at Taco Bell and it reminded me of my divorce.
It was extremely messy and involved a lot of paperwork.
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︎ Sep 11 2018
Did you hear about the soccer player that was implicated in the Panama Papers?
Apparently it was a Messi business.
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︎ Apr 18 2016
What do you call a sloppy soccer player?
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︎ Jul 10 2018
What happens when Argentinians donβt pay taxes.....
Things get a little Messi in court.
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︎ Mar 13 2018
I told this one a while back..
My wife and I were eating mexican food. She had tacos but they were pretty messy. She bit into one and all of the fixings fell out onto the other tacos, cracking them apart. She says, "Aww man, my tacos broke." My response: "Well, I guess it's Nacho time!"
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︎ Feb 16 2018
Hey, Kid. Did you spill something on your jersey? No. Why?
It says "MESSI" on the back.
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︎ Mar 10 2018
I got a new bread recipe where you donβt have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
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︎ Aug 19 2019
I found a good bread recipe where I don't have to get my hands messy from mixing it.
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︎ May 28 2018
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