You buy the one that sucks the most
Toilet paper math (20=46)
Itβs just a mythunderstanding.
I thought it was common knowledge that baggers can't be choosers.
It makes cents for someone else
Her: what?
Me: ... What IS that?!
Her: what's what?
Me: there's someone on the side of your face...
Her: "what? Oh god, where" proceeds to try to wipe face
Me: right there! .. oh, it's just your ear!
GF: Really?
Me: Yes.
George Foreman: How so?
It doesn't make any sense et al
It's a real head-scratcher!
Beets me.
Adding a conversation with my gf:
"How are you π·?"
"I'm a bit π· but I'd be π· if you were here π·π·π·."
It's getting really confusint guys
Iβm homophonophobic.
Check, mate.
Checkmate.
Can I get the check, mate?
Nanime
Posted this on Showerthoughts thought It'd be more appropriate here.
For example: the machine used to print dollars, it just doesn't make any cents!
It's all Greek to me.
but nothing seemed to add up
For example, whatever they use to print dollar bills is even more confusing because it makes absolutly no cents.
My dad texted me to remind me to turn in my rent, he thinks I'll forget something important like that I guess. I didn't respond from his initial text message so he quickly sent me another
"Please confirm. Roger over and out."
I responded saying "Thank you!" he was clearly not happy with this and said
"You're supposed to say "Roger..Over" at the end of your communication. Over"
I replied "Roger I love you. Over"
My dad responded with "My name is Dad, not Roger. What the Hell? Over" ...
I will never understand his humor.. But it makes me laugh.
but I never take it for granite.
...So just bear with me.
Ηuo
We have a perfectly good one sitting right in the bedroom already, and I am terrible at Woodworking.
We went out to eat at a Cuban place and my mother had ordered some food with a side of tostones (a plantain dish). She complained that they had too much garlic to which I made a joke:
"Yeah, as soon as you bit into it, you tatsed the garlic and were like , 'Β‘Ajo!'"
(Β‘Ajo! is a Spanish exclamatory similar to "ooooooh" or "oh my goodnes." It doesn't have a direct English equivalent but that's what it means. The Spanish word for garlic also happens to be ajo, so I made a pun playing off the dual meaning of the word. Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. )
"What'd you say Steve?"
(my name is not Steve)
Now, I am not a dad, but I told my father this joke and he giggled, so I feel like it still counts as a dad joke. In a unit on wave mechanics, my class was discussing pendulums. As we talked about pendulums and how they related to wave mechanics, my buddy said, in a contemplative manner, "I just don't know what to think about pendulums." I responded, "So you could say, your thoughts have gone back and forth on the matter." Many groans were had.
