He made a pun in the shower, we giggled, and I noted how he's gone from hating puns to making his own. I called him my "young Padawan" and he responded, "You mean, Pun-awan?" It was seemless. I lost my shit. Just wanted to share with you guys :)
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
Dad: Well, it means a great deal, actually…
All You Need Is Lunch
Do You Believe In Life After Lunch
Lunch In An Elevator
Me: it's means being happy
Son: so are you gay dad?
Me: no son, I have an wife
and the box said 2-4 years!
Does that make them Coffinated?
...would be preposterous
The result was divided.
My daughter said yes, and I replied, “So you’re de-Claritin that you’ve had it already?”
Now that’s just mean.
I'm not sure if you do
A condescending con, descending.
I'll see myself out.
Apparently everyone I ask doesn’t know.
All the others are non-binary
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
You must be a Simpson then.
No one is giving me a straight answer
I said, “Usually to avoid answering questions like this one.”
I said, “they’re mostly dead”
Kids these days have a lot of slang for a killer clown movie.
Nobody will give me a straight answer.
"Honey, I got you a bouquet."
But I won't stop until I figure it out.
That they've taken a fence!
It was Xanax-ident
He was just average.
Can't have shit in Detroit.
The possibilities are: end, less.
I agreed with him and told him it was probably because of something he did.
but I am just worried that two years later, nothing will change and it will be still be the same as 2022...
It means you have a head.
It’s laundry day.
Slowly but surly
Me (to son): digging holes in the ground.
mum: snigger
