My husband has gradually grown to tolerate and even appreciate puns. Today he made me proud.

He made a pun in the shower, we giggled, and I noted how he's gone from hating puns to making his own. I called him my "young Padawan" and he responded, "You mean, Pun-awan?" It was seemless. I lost my shit. Just wanted to share with you guys :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shadowsphinx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2016
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A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"

She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Son: What does bargain mean?

Dad: Well, it means a great deal, actually…

πŸ‘︎ 471
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daviscojokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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If you change word "Love" to "Lunch", you can totally change the meaning of a lot of songs.

All You Need Is Lunch

Do You Believe In Life After Lunch

Lunch In An Elevator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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My son asked me what does gay mean

Me: it's means being happy

Son: so are you gay dad?

Me: no son, I have an wife

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CAUSTIC101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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I don’t mean to brag, but I just put a puzzle together in 1 day...

and the box said 2-4 years!

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Found at my local Trader Joe’s.... I mean come on... you laughed... Right?!
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karentorres__
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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If the process of decaffeinating coffee beans means being doused in formaldehyde...

Does that make them Coffinated?

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardwithablog
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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Pre- means before. Post- means after. To use both prefixes together,

...would be preposterous

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amar610
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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In a recent poll people were asked what they thought Γ· means

The result was divided.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigfootNick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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Given that a case of the sniffles means staying home from school, we give my daughter a daily allergy medicine. My wife was giving her breakfast before school, and when I walked out, I asked if she’d had her medicine yet.

My daughter said yes, and I replied, β€œSo you’re de-Claritin that you’ve had it already?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpcombs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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My wife was telling me I am of average intelligence.

Now that’s just mean.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ballsquancher
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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Are you sure you know what gaslighting means?

I'm not sure if you do

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Remerdy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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A mean crook going down stairs =

A condescending con, descending.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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The word plethora means alot to me

I'll see myself out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThosPuddleOfDoom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Well I mean I would be mad...
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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What does IDK mean ?

Apparently everyone I ask doesn’t know.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlovenianGregor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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"A happy man is one who has found meaning in life"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichKestrel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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My maths teacher called me average yesterday. How MEAN...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shivraj234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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Why are 0 and 1 the only numbers with genders?

All the others are non-binary

πŸ‘︎ 563
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheble003
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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Ah Facebook XD
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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I mean technically
πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/its_boogeyman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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Been meaning stop here for breakfast...everyone says I have to try their gloryholes.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bozo_dubbed_over
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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My 16 year old son told me I was a simp (probably because I'm looking to get into a new relationship), after I looked up the meaning I told him:

You must be a Simpson then.

πŸ‘︎ 486
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HosfordHusky
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Does anyone know what LGBTQ means?

No one is giving me a straight answer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NathyDre
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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My son asked me, β€œDad, what are condoms used for?”

I said, β€œUsually to avoid answering questions like this one.”

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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My friend asked me if Princess Bride jokes are still a thing

I said, β€œthey’re mostly dead”

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Every time I ask my son what a new phrase means, he tells me to google it.

Kids these days have a lot of slang for a killer clown movie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J3fbr0nd0
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Get it. guys... ( none of my friends laughing)
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puppybark55
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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I’ve been asking people what LGBTQ means

Nobody will give me a straight answer.

πŸ‘︎ 299
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kingdragon2430
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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For my anniversary, 12 women named Rose showed up while we were having breakfast. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Screamed my wife.

"Honey, I got you a bouquet."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesmartass1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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I don't know what the word "stubborn" means

But I won't stop until I figure it out.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scarvius
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Know what it means when the mods remove some of your posts?

That they've taken a fence!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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I didn't mean to take too much of my anxiety medication

It was Xanax-ident

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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It’s not that my high school math teacher was mean...

He was just average.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mndaver24
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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In Illinois, it's illegal to have legal possesion over fecal matter of any sort.

Can't have shit in Detroit.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meini_Studios
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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There are two possibilities for words that mean "final part" or "smaller amount".

The possibilities are: end, less.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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We couldn’t have written this joke any better. /r/AskReddit/comments/kxb…
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENTJohn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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My son told me that when it rains it means God is crying.

I agreed with him and told him it was probably because of something he did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skullchin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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I mean... yes
πŸ‘︎ 183
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πŸ‘€︎ u/more_smiles
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I saw the post about not wanting 2020 to end as it would mean that 2021...

but I am just worried that two years later, nothing will change and it will be still be the same as 2022...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AesSedai99
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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Do you know what it means if you have a headache?

It means you have a head.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anime_fan_21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Today I saw my wife walk by with her sexiest underwear on, which could mean just one thing.

It’s laundry day.

πŸ‘︎ 121
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the mean turtle cross the road?

Slowly but surly

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthLukas71
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Daughter (complaining): :Daaaad, that's boring!" Son (overhearing end of conversation): "What's boring?"

Me (to son): digging holes in the ground.

mum: snigger

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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What did the otter tell the mean beaver?

Dam, you otter beavery kind.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hkzhr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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