What's Mario's favourite material?
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︎ Jun 01 2021
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
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︎ May 21 2021
Reddit faces lawsuit for failing to remove child sexual abuse material
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︎ Apr 25 2021
I borrowed materials from my friend years ago who is a chain link enthusiast. During a heated conversation, I exclaimed that wood is superior...
I didn't expect it but he took a fence.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
My cow saves every scrap of usable material.
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︎ Apr 08 2021
After a Viagra salesman died from the effects of the drug, the company gifted his family a casket of a new, high-end material.
They call it mourning wood.
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︎ Feb 15 2021
I ran out of material for the doll I was making and only had breathe mints left for the feet.
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︎ Jan 18 2021
What kind of dog is made of different materials?
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︎ Feb 20 2021
How does a non-binary samurai kill people?
They/them
(They slash them)
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︎ Apr 27 2021
How should you remove hazardous materials from your house?
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︎ Dec 04 2020
My friend started a company a few years ago that binds quantities of material together...
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︎ Jan 02 2021
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︎ Feb 18 2020
An answer in a listening test was "specific background material" and a classmate asked if it was ok to just write "background material"
The teacher said it had to be specific
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︎ Nov 18 2020
We are putting away our unused Christmas gift wrap materials, and my son casually comments
βTheyβre going to be napping papersβ
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︎ Jan 04 2021
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
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︎ Nov 09 2020
When my uncle worked at the iron mill he made a fortune sneaking out material that he could sell. One can say he was very good at steeling.
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︎ Oct 25 2020
We must create artistic compositions made of various materials glued on a surface for my Art 419 class project...
I guess I'll give it the old collage try.
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︎ Dec 15 2020
what is a cows favourite reading material
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︎ Oct 20 2020
"Time Sensitive Material"
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︎ Aug 14 2020
Philosopun
Descartes and Shakespeare were having a debate on how best to write. Descartes argued up and down that prose was the only way to really get your ideas across and that artistic license just muddied everything up. Shakespeare argued poetry and turns of phrase made the material more relatable and thus easier to get across. Descartes countered, "But how do you know what the best form is?" Shakespeare thought about it and replied, "I think, therefore iamb."
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︎ May 24 2021
My anatomy class is currently covering the skeletal system and my professor is being unreasonable with the amount of material we need to know so I made an office hour appointment to speak with him.
You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.
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︎ Jul 27 2020
What do you call an important message to the staff of a building materials company?
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︎ Nov 02 2020
What shoes do kidnappers wear?
White vans
A student told me that today!
Also, thank you to this community! I get a lot of great material for my Joke of the Day and it has helped me connect with my students through distance learning.
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︎ Apr 13 2021
My 4 Year Old is Working on Her Material...
Her - Knock knock!
Me - Who's there?
Her - Hungry!
Me - Hungry who?
Her - Hi hungry, I'm dad!
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︎ Jun 10 2020
I told my fiancΓ© I was trying to think of some jokes and that I wrote down some material... I think I'm funny
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︎ Apr 23 2020
Later in Forrest Gumpβs life, he puts on a little weight and opens a business collecting old plumbing materials.
It was called the Plump Gump Sump Pump Dump.
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︎ May 18 2020
They delivered materials for our new roof today. I looked out the window, confused. Said to my son, βhuh, thatβs weird. There are several pallets out there. He asked why thatβs weird.
I was just expecting a shingle pallet
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︎ Aug 04 2020
For sale: Book titled "The Dangers of Materialism"
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︎ Jul 16 2020
The dad joke landfills must be empty.
Because of all the recycled material on this sub.
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︎ Apr 27 2021
I suddenly couldn't go out and act because I received lots of crates of materials...
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︎ May 24 2020
As a Dad 'comedian', lately all my material has been
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︎ Apr 07 2020
My daughter had to stick her hand in a sack to try to guess the type of material by touch...
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︎ Apr 11 2020
I just want to talk about the absolute perfect quality of material here in r/dadjokes!
Not once has anyone laughed at one of these jokes when I have told them. Way to keep the spirit of dadjokes alive by putting groans before laughter!
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︎ Oct 17 2019
Bricks are the happiest construction materials.
They're always getting laid.
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︎ Jul 03 2019
Ironic
The adjective for metal is metallic.
But not so for iron.
Which is ironic.
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︎ Dec 18 2020
To steal someone's research material on plague is to
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︎ Feb 29 2020
I recently failed my βWomen in Saudi Arabiaβ class because there was too much material.
The course covered everything.
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︎ Jun 08 2019
Even though I insisted there was no need for repatriation, my neighbour has just brought round a root vegetable in exchange for the reading material I gave them.
So thats a turnip for the books.
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︎ Dec 26 2019
From the 2020 SAT, geometry section: A farmer is welding parts in his barn. He wants to cut four bars of equal length from two lengths of iron rebar measuring 16 feet, 8 inches and 5 feet, 10 inches. How much material will be discarded? Bonus: where will the rebar, once welded, go for a good time?
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︎ Dec 18 2019
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︎ Dec 11 2019
βͺI regret quitting my job at the factory that made night wear for felines. I thought I was allergic to to some of the material we were working with. β¬ βͺ
But it turns out it wasnβt the catβs pyjamas
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︎ Jan 04 2020
Wood is a very forgiving material to work with
That's why Jesus is a carpenter
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︎ Apr 28 2019
The local cobbler realized that canvas was a better material to craft shoes out of
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︎ Nov 13 2019
As a woman I consider myself to be wife material. You know how much you have to pay per yard for wife material? About a house and a yard!
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︎ Dec 01 2018
I've really enjoyed the past year here and have gotten some great material for my repertoire that never ceases to amaze the wife and kids, but I think it's time I had a short word with you all
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︎ Oct 14 2019
What material are a clownβs breast implants made out of?
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︎ Jul 21 2018
I borrowed materials from my friend years ago who is a chain link enthusiast. During a heated conversation, I exclaimed that wood is superior...
I didn't expect it but he took a fence.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
What's Mario's favourite material?
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︎ Nov 14 2019
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