How does a lazy martial arts trainer announce himself?

Hi, Ya

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uckioh
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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What's a trump supporter's favorite martial art?

Krav maga.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/copenhagen_bram
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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My monkey friend says that he can use martial arts to fight off disease. I think he's tricking me and he says

Ape will fu ills

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrueAidooo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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Did you hear Ben and Jerry's are gonna stop making ice cream and start their own branch of martial arts?

They call it Koo-Kee Do

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FartyMcFry89
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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What do you call Catholic martial arts?

Nun-Jitsu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FranticFridge
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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What do you call a Catholic Sister who's an expert in stealth and martial arts?

A nunja.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JakeIsTheEnemy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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Found out martial arts expert Bruce Lee had a vegan brother

His name was Broco Lee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sacrelidge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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What do you call a ginger kid who’s good at martial arts?

The Carroty Kid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bjs1023113
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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My local bakery has a martial arts promotion going on

They allow you to take-one-dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/t3hl34d3r
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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When you see a panda doing martial arts

You just don't get surprised, you also get bamboozled

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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People ask me how I got so good at martial arts

I have a senseitional trainer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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What's the difference between baseball and Chinese martial arts?

In baseball, many men chew, but few men smoke. In Chinese martial arts, many men smoke, but fu manchu.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beanhedge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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Martial arts pun

I was going to write a joke about martial arts, but I decided that it was to offensive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kevin_Nivek1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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What does a martial arts expert drink?

Kara-tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
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I asked Ryu if i could learn martial arts at his level yesterday

He said: β€œSuuuuureee YOU can!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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What type of martial arts do viruses know?

Kung flu.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/da_one1morelight
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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Did you hear about the baker who started taking martial arts classes?

After only 4 weeks he was a black belt in Tae Kwon Dough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scrubZ0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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Asian martial arts must be very dehydrating...

because every second line in a movie is "Wataaah!".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trandami
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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So somebody asked if I can make martial arts joke

I replied I kendo it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lemon_alpha
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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I like more formalized martial arts than Muay Thai.

I’ve started studying Muay Suit and Thai.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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What do you call a canadian prime minister that practises martial arts?

Justin judeau

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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So a sensei or β€˜teacher’ at a martial arts school brings a bowl of crispy wontons to class.

He sets it on a plinth and tells the students they’re free to take a couple after class is over. Halfway through teaching the senpai or sensei’s assistant approaches and tells him he has an important phone call. He tells the class to find a partner and practice. He comes back fifteen minutes later and the plinth is knocked over, the bowl is in pieces and the wontons crushed and scattered about. He is dismayed that his students would engage in such sensei-less wonton destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Igrotzny
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?

Bruce Leaf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tommyboy3111
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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A friend of mine claimed that you can't make a suggestive phrase out of a martial art

I asked:

"Muay Thai prove you wrong?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JokerInATardis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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Some people do martial arts to defend themselves. . .

Others do them just for kicks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Avartes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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What kind of martial arts do cows like best?

Mooy Tai

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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Some people were swatting at bugs and they were joking about how they looked they were doing martial arts

I told them it was called hop moskido.

This actually happened. Nobody laughed and no one I've told it to since has laughed. I think it's really funny and I need some validation. Help

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BASIC-Mufasa
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
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Yiu know what kind of Martial Arts Jesus practices?

Judo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rasberryjam5151
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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I'm going to start a low carb, high fat and protein combined with martial arts diet

Aiketo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adopogi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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There are so many forms of martial arts, it’s kind of.. Kung-Fusing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1ky1e1
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
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What’s hitlers least favorite martial art?

Jew-jitsu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dugganlord
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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Where do martial arts masters shop for furniture?

at the I-KEA!!!

(I think this is my first original dad-joke)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessorOfLies
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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I have a friend who’s really into Korean martial arts, he’s known as Taekwonjoe
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hatcatson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Me: Dad can you tell me what a star shaped martial arts weapon is called?

β€œShuriken”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DolphinzX
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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What do you call an ape that knows martial arts?

King kong fu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onesyboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
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What is a bearded martial arts instructor's favorite bubble gum?

Kung Fu Man Chew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rideintips
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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"It's time for your martial arts class, son."

Son: "But, I don't even take won do!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rover359
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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What do you call tree that knows martial arts?

Spruce Lee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggalden
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
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Everybody at the martial arts dojo gets really excited about my car.

When I drive by, I can hear them shouting "KIA, KIA!"

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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β€œHey did you hear about the martial arts class that only accepted people with one leg?”

It was called Tae-one-toe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Narband
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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What martial art does Hitler hate?

Jew-Jitsu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thegod999
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2017
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I wanted to learn some martial arts, so googled Ninja School.

Said β€œthis site could not be found”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/guineaworm88
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
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Pun Request: Muay Thai/Martial Arts Related Puns

I'm running an email distro list and have to include a pun every week related to Muay Thai. Can you guys help me with some suggestions? I'm really running out of steam after a couple of months on.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/muaythaipunsplz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2015
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I angered my martial arts instructor....

He flipped... XD

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
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What is a Trump supporter's favorite martial art?

Krav MAGA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugbrain_04
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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