My wife’s mad at me because she said I never buy her flowers
I honestly didn’t even know she sold flowers
Somewhere a cat is mad at me
Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.
Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude.
I personally am on the fence
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction,
So I packed up my stuff and right!
The creator of Mad Libs passed away
His friends described him as a round and pulpy man who loved his wife and penguins. He will be deeply pooped.
Well I mean I would be mad...
If you are offended by my dad jokes, don’t get mad and ask me to go to the artificial excavation filled with water.
Don't be mad at lazy people
When people get mad about me playing League of Legends I just
What do you call it when all the cows the dairy farm go mad?
My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
It's not like I did something
Why was the US mad at Canada for remaining part of the commonwealth?
Because being stuck with the land of the Angles is obtuse
What do you call a pirate who's mad because he can't pee?
I was so mad when Walmart ran out of figurines for the Nativity
Now I have to attend manger management
My wife got mad after I tried to convince her that she'd agreed to let me buy a neon sign.
I guess she doesn't like gas lighting.
After my wife had a stressful day at work, I drew her bath. She then got mad at me!!
Some people are so ungrateful. I used an entire pencil adding details to it and everything :(
[Just thought of this. I'm pretty happy with myself right now.]
Why was the skeleton mad at the grave robber?
Because of all the skulduggery
Why was the sniper's girlfriend mad at him?
Because he never misses her.
A man had a fetish for touching and hearing, one day his friend got mad and slapped and yelled at the man
He ended up coming to his senses
My wife is really mad at me for throwing a snowball at my son.
On top of it, I’m banned permanently from the maternity ward.
They never told me that getting older mad eeverything hurt when you get out of bed
I guess that’s why it’s called being a groan-up
What does your mother's sister eat when she's mad?
What do you call a German who is mad at everything ?
A Sour-Kraut (Sauerkraut)
I’m mad at my wife because I bought a stun gun for her birthday and she tested it out on me. Twice.
What a revolting response to a gift. I was stunned.
Why were the Italian chefs mad at the dull bananas?
They were not a-ppealing.
When you find yourself a little mad...
My wife got mad at me for have sexual affairs with inanimate objects
I told her it was one night stand...
Pulled this off on my friend Lmao
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage
My wife got mad at me when I opened the window and yelled "Nice rack!"....
... But that buck must have been a 6 pointer!
Is not fair to get mad at lazy people...
My wife is constantly changing her name, but gets mad at me when I call her the new name.
Sometimes it's hungry, sometimes it's tired, sometimes it's angry. Please help.
The Indianapolis Colts lost again today, and now everyone is mad at Google Maps...
...because any idiot could have told them to take Teddy Bridgewater over Philip Rivers.
I don’t get why my wife gets mad at me for being lazy
It’s not like I did anything.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!
I was helping my wife carry the grocery bags inside the house. All of the sudden she gets mad at me and says to carry more stuff.
I mean I would carry more but my hands were tide.
My wife is mad because I never buy her flowers.
I didn’t even know she sold flowers!
My wife was mad I had a bad sense of direction...
...so I packed up and right!
My wife is mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right
My wife is really mad because I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction."
"So I packed up my stuff and right!"
Don't be mad at lazy people
My wife is really mad at the fact i have no sence of direction,
So i packed up my stuff and right
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