Macdonalds Puns

He's been made the CIEIO

He is now E.I. G.I.Joe

I'm the CIEIO

I'm going to be adhered to a social norm.

It might smell funny.

EIEIO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfnLXI2bUnA

The CIEIO

Now I have stable wifi.

When Old MacDonald had a farm, the doctor died of shock.

More specifically, two glasses .... of scotch

(Credit: Norm Macdonald Live)

And they says to me, "so you think you are too good for us " And I says to them, I says, " No nothing like that, I am just going to be a nudist for a while."

(Dedicated to my inspiration: Norm Macdonald)

I’m the new CIEIO

To get bigger buns

Because “The Shake Machine” is ALWAYS down.

A farmer decides to sell everything he owns and use the money to buy vowels on Wheel of Fortune.

Old MacDonald lost his farm.

E-I-E-I-O

Mods, if this is against the rules, I apologize. Feel free to remove and I'll try and find better luck on Google.

I'm a middle school teacher and my 8th graders are graduating on Thursday. They've been a great, wonderful class to have, but they always complain about lame my jokes are. I feel that the most suitable way to send them off would be, either on the last day of class or at their graduation ceremony, would be to send them off with their own individual dad roast from me. (Think Norm MacDonald at the Bob Saget roast).

If anybody has any good dad roast jokes that won't get me fired nor get misconstrued for bullying, I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks!

My 2.5-year-old son was singing Old MacDonald in the car and decided to be a little silly by having each verse be a progressive number of mittens on his farm.

When he got to five mittens, I asked him, "Why would he need so many mittens? How many hands does he have?"

While my son was thinking it over, my wife replied, "They are for all of his farmhands."

Down on his farm, Old MacDonald was hosting his annual talent contest amongst his animals and announced that, this year, the theme was Shakespeare.

All of his livestock had been busily and excitedly rehearsing because they knew that 1st prize was to be a gigantic gazebo festooned with flashing electric lights, a glitter ball, a speaker system and turntables.

Competition was fierce; the chickens performed Othello, the horse chose Hamlet, the sheep Romeo and Juliet and the cow performed Richard III.

After much deliberation, the farmer and his wife ordered a hushed silence and announced: "Cow is the winner of our disco tent."

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/661a77b3da/norm-macdonald-trolls-the-bob-saget-roast